Ulterior motives: Not Everybody Has One.

Ulterior motives: Not Everybody Has One.

I'll make this short, sweet and to the point. People seem to think when people point out certain things in their gender or just other things in general, that they have some diabolical plot looming underneath. When really, they are just doing what most people on here do. Which is, giving their opinion on a certain topic. Saying how they see things from their point of view. It's not really more complex than that.

Now, that's not to say there aren't people who say things with a certain reaction in mind or with a certain motivation behind it. Because, there are those people like that. So, it's not completely off the table but I'd say most people don't write what they write with an ulterior motive in mind.

When I wrote my take about men being "damned if they do and damned if they don't", some people said I did it to kiss guys asses and get them to like me (or something like that) but I wasn't. I have never in my life done anything with hopes of getting people to like me, it's just not how I am. I wrote it because I wanted to and I just wanted to get a bunch of stuff off my chest and that's exactly what I did, but I didn't do it to impress guys. That's not my style.

I saw another take yesterday by a girl who wrote about the things she hates about her gender and one girl told her she only did that to "get men to love her", when really she was just expressing herself and how she feels. And, being as that she mentioned in there that she has a boyfriend, why would she need other men to love her? She's already got the affection of the man she wants, so she doesn't need attention from other men. So, why anyone would think that was her motive is beyond me. People do that all the time and I don't get it.

So I Ask, Why?

Why can't someone simply come on here and express their opinion, without an ulterior motvie in mind?

Why can't someone just have the ability to see that all people are flawed, both men and women and are willing to admit that and bring it to people's attention when they feel they aren't?

Why can't someone just see both sides of an issue or both people's point of view? Why does there have to be a reason it for it, what if it's just who they are?

Why can't someone say they are different then most, without someone thinking they are just saying it to be cool or make themselves sound special? What if they really are different then most? What if it's just the truth?

What if someone was staring you right in the eye and telling you the samethings you read on here, would you assume they have an ulterior motive or are the rules different in your mind when they are standing right in front of you?

See, I think people believe no one online could possibly actually feel that way, because it's just not the norm. So, they feel there's a motive underneath it all. When really, there's no motive at all.

So, next time you read something you don't agree with, don't assume there's an ulterior motive. You have every right to disagree but you don't have the right to discredit the persons opinion by stating they have an ulterior motive, simply because you don't agree with them.


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What Guys Said 11

  • This is brilliant. I totally agree. People - especially women - almost always need to come up with a reason to explain why someone says something about their gender, even if it's other women. They do this to make themselves feel better about the truth that you're speaking. So because they can't take it they write guys off as being "butthurt" or just mad because a woman "rejected" him, and if it's a woman they tell her stuff like you said.

    The female ego is the one that's sensitive to criticism, and when it can't handle it the problem must be you and not them. Great points you made.

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  • Well said

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  • I don't find a lot wrong with it, but I always prefer honesty upfront. But guess what this is the internet, and it tends to bring out the best in man. Or their worst.

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  • Very well said and nice take...

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  • Its because when a person is confronted with something they do not wish to hear they have the options of questioning it honestly which runs the risk of validating the remark, or attacking the person who said it in an attempt to discredit it. People hold onto ideas, they place a lot of themselves in those ideas and have an emotional connection to it, it becomes apart of them so anything tha could bring that into question is essentially something that they view is an attack upon them and as such they will do what ever they can to discredit the person (if they have no means of discrediting the statement) in order to justify to themselves that they are right and that they do not have to let go of that particular idea. The greater their investment in said idea the more extreme the response.

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  • I agree with your assessment that sometimes you are just saying what is on your mind like what your point of view is without trying to score points or trying to impress somebody.

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  • I think if anyone that has a sixth sense about this things can spot it, also it intentions are notable, behavioral wise.

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  • Not everyone has bad breath, that doesn't make it less bad or severe an issue for those who have to smell it when it's there.

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  • I never have bad intentions

    if i like you its cause i wanna date you. i dont fuck around either.

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  • I do remember that take. Twas a good one.

    Just how this one is.

    It's also the internet, people think they can say whatever they want with no consequences.

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  • I pretty much say exactly what I mean or think, so I default to assuming others do as well. That gets me in trouble sometimes.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's like women aren't allowed to criticise women or support men without being female misogynists or gender betrayers. I don't feel a sense of solidarity with someone just because we happen to have the same genitalia.

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  • That was not short at all
    And there are a lot of band wagon people on here who will say stuff or wrote stuff because they think it somehow makes them cool. It has nothing to do with an ulterior motive

    After a while you can usually tell when a user on here is bandwagoning based on what they write

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  • Very well said!

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