What does it mean when your boyfriend stops saying "I love you" but in person he is still affectionate? Also stops texting as much and calling?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I have been together 9 months now, we recently have had some pretty bad arguments/conflicts which ended up in us having a weeks break from each other (not seeing other people). He hasn't said " I love you " to me since before the break, which was about 2 weeks or so now.
When we are together he is still affectionate to me (although still doesn't say he loves me) - he ALWAYS used to say he loves me to me, when he said bye to be in person. We see each other 3 times a week. Now he has stopped txtn/calling me as much. He will go out at night and he will not text me while out, and only contact me the next day around lunch time or something.. he doesn't text me to say good night or anything.. he always used too. I feel like I don't exist sometimes.. He is still calling me babe though and sometimes puts "xx"'s.. Please help? Is he doing this cos before he felt smothered (he told me). I haven't been needy at all.. I only text when he txts me, and am not clingy at all.. I didn't even ask him questions about his night out (that he still has not mentioned anything about to me - who knows what he got up to).

[Anonymous]

I think respecting his privacy is important, your curious but it shouldn't be a big deal if he doesn't share with you. You guys took a break from each other and now he is probably trying to find a happy medium. I think the xx's and "babe" are his subtle way of saying he loves you and affection when he is with you is a non-verbal way of saying he loves you. I think the best end result of a relationship is when you get to the point you don't need to talk to each other you just know through body language how the other is doing. A relationship should be mild and comfortable not intense with the two of you sharing everything regardless of it's importance, embelishing everything with lot's of "I love you's " and such. Just see if he says it every now and then

[Asker]

Thanks - I hope you are correct with that theory.
He hasn't said any " I love you's" to me for almost 2 weeks though... before we had the week space apart.
I guess I wait until he says it to me first then, other wise I will come across 'smothering'.

[islands7]

Sweety, his buddies & their lifestyle have come between you two.
ALL the evidence suggests that his buddies have captured him in order to enhance their preferred lifestyle of cruising for chicks and banging the ones they'll forget tomorrow.

You got in the way and thus will be unfairly cited as clingy and smothering him (when it's really their lifestyle they are protecting selfishly). That said, I hope one of his buddies is not undermining your relationship in hopes it will die, thus you become available to date him... no, this is not fantasy talk - this is more typical than you think.

Your lover has made his choice, dear - he even prefers to argue to gain MORE space for this lifestyle that get back together, there's no more effort to be wasted on him & ESPECIALLY his buddies that live in this gutter.

Clean break, no comms with him, no need for him to have ANY information on what/where/etc. you are doing, as it will be used to reel you back into his corral.

If it's one thing I've learned about society and close relationships, it's that when YOU are not getting the full information package, it's because you would either object to its contents OR you would have to defend yourself from its poison. Your evidence strongly suggests he is playing with poison that has already affected your relationship, making it sick and dying. Next will come the STDs that further attack you physically.

Please go shopping for a replacement ASAP and never comm this guy & his gang again. Else, the worst is still to come - you won't even believe the hate used to pave their lifestyle.

Been there, done that

[Asker]

Thanks for your comment - but I do feel this is very narrow minded way of seeing things.. maybe I am just staying hopeful and not succumbing to negative thoughts.. I hope this isn't the case here haha..

[islands7]

Prove it to yourself - go visit his lifestyle in disguise and just lurk around... until you throw up or get mad

[mygameboy]

Gonna be brutally honest with you, look through his texts when he leaves his phone somewhere. You'll be surprised on who he might actually be ganging out with

[Asker]

I don't want to bring trust insecurities into it... also, have never looked through his phone and never will. I mean I wouldn't be able to anyway, he has a password on the lock screen and he always has his phone with him (in his pocket or something). The thing is he has had many opportunities to break up with me.. but he decided he did want to work things out. So if he didn't want to be with me, he would of dumped me.