How do I deal with this extremely needy Tinder guy?

Question

I recently went on two dates with this guy from Tinder and have spotted some warning signs which are worrying me:

First date:
- He kept reaching across the table to hold my hand
- He kept trying to hold my hand when we were walking down the street
- He added me on Facebook whilst I'd gone to the bathroom
- He talked about how it might be problematic for our relationship (?) if I were to get a job in another part of the country

Second date
- Again was incredibly touchy feely with the hand holding thing across the table and other stuff
- When we were at the train station he pulled me into this weird hug and kissed the top of my head
- He talked about meeting my parents
- He talked about deleting Tinder because he can see himself being in a long term relationship with me
- He said if we were to date, would I be happy spending every weekend with him and Skyping/calling him 4 days a week

And in between and up till now he has been constantly messaging me - almost every hour of the day.

Is this worrying behaviour? It's stressing me out quite a bit, but at the same time he's a nice guy underneath the insecurity/neediness. Any advice on what to do?

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

I think he is getting waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too clingy too fast. If you had been dating a while it might have been sweet, but I think he's desperate. If you're concerned I say you stick up for yourself and tell him he has to slow down. If he takes offence, cut your losses.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

How desperate is he? How long have you guys been in contact & he's already acting this way? If you are uncomfortable, listen to yourself, and tell him it's a bit too much. If he doesn't ease up, I'd steer clear

AzureGirl · Accepted Answer

Tell him it's bothering you. If he doesn't ease up it may be best to just end contact with him.

ChicagoCyclist · Accepted Answer

He seems to be getting attached to you WAY too fast. If he's not willing to accept what you told him, then leave him. Seriously, if he doesn't accept that, I can't even think about how many things he won't accept if you two get into a relationship.

OpenWine · Accepted Answer

Isn't that the dream? You found a guy on tinder who isn't about hookups. Counterpart he is still from a online dating site so it's normal he's desperate enough to join one

Lioness · Answer

Third Date -He whisks you away to get married at the Courthouse while you are still in the daze of your confusion.

RonG96 · Answer

I see that he haven`t got experience with girls so is over doing the texting part but the holding hands part is pretty normal. If you like him I don`t see any major concerns from the information you have given.

TheHooptyMiata · Answer

Bit needy but he doesn't sound psycho, he just sounds really into you. Probably a virgin and inexperienced.

Jayded1 · Answer

Iys not worrying but its not your thing. Someone people love clingy. he won't change. You need to let him know you just dont see it going any further and wish him good luck.

Yeahhbro · Answer

well if you don't like him as a mate maybe as a f buddy? what do you think? Or just be straight up.

26ukdude · Answer

He seems pretty full on, this kind of behaviour would push me away.

apple24 · Answer

EW! you just stop dealing with boys and do your hw!

Anonymous · Answer

He is extremely needy and you gave him a 2nd date anyway? About the touchy feely thing... I actually do that a lot also. It's called Kino (look it up). Anyway... beyond that, he seems like an annoyance.

Anonymous · Answer

just be unavailable for a while. or ask him for some space. If he is constantly messaging you just don't reply unless it is at a certain time of day.

KENKONG · Answer

Seriously keep this dude a wrong and fuck around with him. Use him to give you attention when your feeling lonely.

Anonymous · Answer

Some of what he said in date 2 was too fast. The constant texting is odd unless its natural. He's likely just really inexperienced tbh

singlebee · Answer

Hahaha... That's too fast... I guess you should not go with a date with him anymore

Anonymous · Answer

Wow that's really freaky. Like 10 different red flags. And all within the first two dates. Find someone else.

KevinFart · Answer

Swipe left? Isn't the whole point of Tinder is that your dates are disposable?

Daego · Answer

Get rid of him, he's a pussy.

Dred1614 · Answer

That's honestly pretty weird.

THEDUDE96 · Answer

just fuck with him and stay in contact

soffffixaz · Answer

cut him off. simple

Anonymous · Answer

1 word : creepy

How do I deal with this extremely needy Tinder guy?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said