My boyfriend wants to declaw his cat for various reasons and I'm trying to stop him :( it's causing a lot of fights in our relationship?

Question

my boyfriend has told me he wants to declaw his cat because he "is sick of dealing with it" and that he knows a vet who will do the procedure
I've explained to him that I do not want this to happen, I've told him to stop, it's cruel and inhumane... He literally will not listen to me :( he tells me it's none of my business and that it's his possessions - so he chooses to do what he wants. 

I've told him so many different options and suggestions instead of declawing. It hasn't changed anything 

I hate that there is a vet hospital who accepts this sort of thing !!! I can't imagine what the procedure will look like and the painful after process :( I feel really bad about the whole thing

its been constant fighting - I don't know what to do anymore

hellionthesage · Accepted Answer

The fact of the matter is you don't have a say in it. You have no right to intervene quite literally, its his cat not yours you have no authority over this. If he has made that decision then he will make it you arguing and fighting him clearly hasn't worked has it? You fighting him more on it is only going to ensure two things one that his cat gets declawed and two you will need to find a new boyfriend. You suggested what he could do, now maybe he has tried that and it didn't work the fact is if the cat is clawing him or his furniture or others and he decides that he has had enough after giving the cat a chance to learn not to do these things then he does have reason enough to perform the procedure. The fact is your trying to force him into doing what you want and that never ends well so you can decide what matters more your opinion or your relationship, if your opinion matters more if your way has to be the only right way then just leave the relationship because he isn't going to put up with his cat clawing up everything, clearly, and you clearly are not going to tolerate him declawing the cat so your only option is really to respect his decision, you gave him options he felt they where insufficient, and move on or break up.

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

Frankly, you should dump him. However, the longer you stick around, the longer the cat may have claws. That said, the instant he heads to the vet to do the deed is the moment you leave him and block him on all social media. I'm serious because, at that point, you know 3 things about him any one of which is sufficient cause to dump him:
1. He is lazy because he "can't deal" with the claws. What would he do if you two had a kid who had significant birth defects? Will he be able to "deal" with that?
2. Disrespects you and ignores your desires on a major issue.
3. Is inhumane and a douche.

So, if you leave him, you email him listing those 3 reasons why you dumped him, and then just block him after that. Do not take him back and don't listen to him. He likely won't change and definitely won't if you take him back. His only chance to change is to learn from your actions and maybe (but I doubt it) he'd be better for the next woman.

Hidden_P · Accepted Answer

This is fucking disgusting.
Nobody is tearing out his nails and toenails.

He is a cat it's his natural instincts. To declaw is Inhumane and idiotic. His cat should be allowed to be a cat. It's a part of owning one / they don't obey all commands they do scratch, they catch prey. Don't want the side effects don't have one.

I'm fucking disgusting by everyone who voted no. You are all intolerant retards. How would you like your nails ripped out and told to be a good boy/girl indoors, you two faced twats. No you want to be the best ever and be a prize but God forbid your home victim gets the same joy. Disgusting pieces of shit deserve eternal hell. Two faces twats.
When I couldn't live I spent ever penny on my cat. He's my baby to the end of the world.

Disgusting behaviour.

haribopop · Accepted Answer

As a huge animal lover I'd personally say leave him. That might not be an option but by the sounds of it you too are an animal lover and I don't personally think you two sound like you're on the same page with this. Nobody should even think of doing that to their cat whether it's illegal or not, it's cruel and unfair on the poor car. And if he's not taking your opinion on board or listening to you or even caring about what you've got to say, then personally I don't think he's worth your time. Is there an animal organisation that can help you and you can report him to? I don't know maybe I'm going over board but I just can't help but feel sorry for the poor cat. All the best, I really hope he doesn't do it.

dragonfly6516 · Accepted Answer

I don't agree with it either, but it's his cat and not your decision. This is also a window into how he will be with children. Yes, pets are animals, bit it's still a defenseless creature under his care. If the real real he's doing this is because of laziness on his own convenience, that's something to think about.
I had to have my cat declawed because the only other option was going to an already crowded shelter with a 7 day policy. So I drove 50 just to have her done by laser because that method doesn't remove part of the toe, it simply cauterizes the nail bed and is more humane.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Even if the cat is "his property", it's AN ANIMAL, a living being. It's like saying "hey, it's my kid, I can pull off it's teeth because it's my property". Honestly! If he has to have a cat, he should learn to live with it.
If you don't know how to handle a cat, don't take a cat. They eat, sleep, shit, break stuff, mess things, use their claws and teeth, it's natural, and if you're not up to that, maybe you shouldn't own a cat in the first place! It's not a case of "I can do what ever I want". He can do what ever he wants with inanimate objects but not with an animal!

Fibbett · Answer

As someone who has worked at a vet for years, I'll tell you that you should only declaw a cat in extreme, UNIQUE circumstances. I would 95% or more of the people who declaw cats shouldn't own one. They don't have any understanding of cat psychology and hold cats to dog behavior standards, which is idiotic.

ravenwolf · Answer

Tell your moron of a boyfriend to actually research what de-clawing does to a cat... it can cause severe permanent damage to his cat.. and the cat will never be the same.. it may start pissing all over the house in spite.. it will meeow and cry in pain at the fact his claws and nerves are ripped from his body... if your boyfriend is annoyed that the cat is clawing his stuff... just clip the cats nails with a nail clipper... also you can go to the pet store and buy these nail covers for cats.. it stops the cat from clawing stuff...

WhiteSteve · Answer

I agree, declawing cats is cruel. I buy these things called SoftPaws, they're little caps you put on their claws with glue, and they just come off when the cat sheds the claw. I bring him to the vet every few months and they do it for like $30, and he seems totally fine with them (other than when they get put on, he doesn't like being restrained😾). If it's an outdoor cat, you kind of just need to let it go natural, it's got to be able to defend itself with its claws. Many countries outside of the US have actually outlawed the procedure, so you're right to fight for this!

Nik1hil · Answer

Say him if if he declaws the
" I will write Letter to TAYLOR SWIFT ( the kitty queen) " and there will be big whinny song on a monster who wants cute kitty declawed...

I think that will be enough : TO KEEP HIM AWAY FROM DECLAWING ANOTHER CAT FOR HIS ENTIRE LIFE..
Love to cats across globe..
https://assets.rbl.ms/601088/980x.jpg

assets8.capitalfm.com/.../...1444037309-view-0.png

Love the cats and this kitty girl

orphan · Answer

if the cat still has his claws then your boyfriend has been listening to you.

other than that, i don't believe your entire rant is truthful... it's a bit far fetched in the sense i don't think you'd be with this person to begin with if he was so adamant about declawing his cat... i reckon you'd be repulsed from a previous action by now.

secondly, i don't don't believe a couple would sit there arguin back and forth over declawing a cat day in day out ---- without either side being pro active... if that's truly the case, then you two just enjoy arguing.

bente2 · Answer

I mean, he's a dick. A cat isn't a possesion, it's an animal. A life that he's chosen to take care of. He HAS CHOSEN to take in an animal which he KNOWS has claws. If he was going to do this, he shouldn't have gotten a cat. Honestly, I'd break up with him if he were my boyfriend, and I'd take his cat with me!

madhatters4 · Answer

have you suggested he just trim their nails and get scratching posts? most cats can learn not to claw at things by training. i don't know, just because i've never looked into it, how inhumane declawing a cat is but i know that when i've owned cats we never declawed them and just figured out ways to deal with and train them

Tanuron · Answer

Im curious, why exactly does he wants his cat declawed? If the cat messes up with furnitures, just get one of those things cats can scratch or stretch their nails on, so dont ruin stuff if that is the problem. If somehow is a problem when the cat is all cuddly, well dont cuddle then. Like yeah, what is really the problem?, what does the cat do that is so bad since pretty much everything I can think of can easily be avoided without any procedures.

ProbablyTooMature · Answer

Does he actually understand that it's basically cutting the cat's "fingers" halfway off? Additionally it's not going to want to "go" in the car box for quite a while. If he's such a miserable pet owner he's probably a pile of garbage and should just put it up for adoption.

Kuraj · Answer

Cruel and inhumane?
How about chopping your cat's entire balls off or cutting out their whole uterus.
Yet I don't see a SINGLE hypocritical asshole complaining about that being cruel and inhumane because the benefits to the OWNER are more apparent.

rickydobby · Answer

I don't believe in declawing ever, but if the cat is an adult it's so much worse. If it's a kitten, I wouldn't lose my relationship over it considering so many kittens are declawed. But an adult cat could be traumatized for life. Give him another option: adoption. Taking a cat is a responsibility and he knew going into it that there would be negative things to deal with and he's just being lazy and selfish. There's someone out there who will treat the cat better and tolerate its claws.

howzit2015 · Answer

Just tell him how inhumane it is. If won't listen there's not much you can do. From a legal stand point he is doing nothing wrong, but I would ask him to reconsider. Once he does it, he cannot undo it.

bryon · Answer

In essence declawing a cat is the exact same thing as removing each of your fingers to the first knuckle. There will be those that disagree but before you do , do your research

kittykatbrat · Answer

Vote B. Like why are you even interfering like its up to you?

Anonymous · Answer

Is it illegal where you are? If not, it is his cat. I think you've crossed the line on this one. This isn't a reason for you to be constantly fighting. If you feel this strongly about it then maybe you two are really compatible.

cavmanier · Answer

That's pretty terrible. You two may have some compatibility issues, but I'd be more concerned with the cat.

DodgersGM · Answer

I'm gnarly enough about animal rights that I'd literally be like, "the cat gets de-clawed and I'm outta here."

Azgeda · Answer

I'm sure humane society would like to have a word with him.

carolann1920 · Answer

Tell him to stop trying to have sex with it and it will stop clawing him.

DutchgirlRCMV · Answer

i get your point, i also think he should not do that but i would not risk your relationship for it

My boyfriend wants to declaw his cat for various reasons and I'm trying to stop him :( it's causing a lot of fights in our relationship?

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