My girlfriend cheated on me with an ex what should I do?

[dixon7249]

My girlfriend and I are in a serious relationship and she is the love of my life and she still talks to her ex-boyfriend who still wants to be with her. She cheated on me twice with him. I am trying really hard to get over it, but he just won't let her go. I don't know if she really means it when she says that she is through with him and doesn't even want to be his friend anymore. She told me to my face that she cheated on me twice and started bawling her eyes out. two weeks later I asked her to marry me, but I don't know if she is still talking to him, I think she is, but I can't be sure. I am really trying to trust her and get over it. every time I try and talk to her about it so I can get over it she gets really mad and starts to cry.

i don't know if this is any good details because I don't know where to go with this.

what should I do? any tips or hints? please!?

Updates

+1 y

when I asked her to marry me she said yes. and she didn't wait a second to say yes.

[GoodManDave]

No. Drop her like a bad habit.

She's cheated on you twice. So what's to stop her from doing it more? Marriage, I hear, can be hard enough on those that cheat. You think that if you have a fight and she storms out that she won't go back to the ex or some other guy?

She's not even giving him up. That's not a mistake, that's a big lack of respect to you. If either person cheats, that's a major sign of some huge issues. And the cheating creates more issues.

Let's assume she never cheats again. But she starts "hanging out with the girlfriends" more, or has to work a late more frequently. If you're smart, you're going to have it in the back of your mind that se might still be doing it. And that's going to mess with you and create a lot more unhappiness than you need. In a successful and happy marriage, trust is vital, and it's kept up by both parties, so there's no reason to distrust each other.

Marriage is about a choice to stay with each other. It's a choice to be faithful with each other, and she hasn't keep that end of the deal.

1) If you feel you HAVE to go through with it, and you happen to be successful, or feel like you may become financially successful, then you need a pre-nuptial agreement with a part about cheating.

2) My advice would be for your own health, not to marry this girl. In spite of what you may think, she's bad news for you. Love can sometimes be where you have to leave someone because of them being hurtful to themselves and you, but you still love them.

And frankly, you have to love yourself better than what you're doing before she pretends to commit to a lifetime with you.

[AJtogo]

It's not her ex you have to worry about, it's her. It takes two people to cheat and she has done it twice to you. If she has any respect for you and your relationship then she wouldn't even be talking to her ex. Kick her cheating ass to the curb and save yourself a lot of future grief. She may be the love of your life but you are not the love of hers.

She probably said yes to marriage because she knew it was exactly what you wanted to hear; and, by doing do, she would get forgiveness for her cheating again.

[melissarose8585]

No. Do not marry her. Especially so soon. If she cheated on you twice with her ex, she is obviously not over him, does not respect your relationship, and with these problems, it is way too soon to even think about marriage. You have way too many issues with trust right now to be thinking about marriage, no matter what she says. She could agree quickly, yes, but if she didn't respect you enough not to cheat, you think that will change because of a ring? It won't.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. One time can be seen as an accident, something that you can recover from. But twice? That's not an accident at all. She knew she shouldn't go around him but she did anyway.

I don't think that there is a way to get over this, really, and still have a relationship. Even if you manage to push back all your doubt and trust issues, it will rear its ugly head at some point in the future. It may be years away, but it will come back.

[Who-Knows]

WOW! I commend you for staying with someone who's essentially betrayed you more than once.

However, whether or not it's conscious in her mind, by allowing her to treat you this way, she's going to feel like she can do anything destructive to the relationship and you will put up with it.

if you're okay with her cheating on you in the past and potentially after marriage then I don't know what to tell you.

I think you'll ultimately have to take a stand and tell her that she can't have both of you.

Sometimes, you need to back off from someone to make them realize how much you mean to them but then you have to ask yourself, "Why do I have to leave to make you realize this?"

It comes down to what you want and how you want to be treated in a relationship. You can still love someone but refuse to be mistreated and that may mean ending the relationship.

[Anonymous]

wow!well you shouldnt marry a person like that.she sure doesn't love you.and she probably said yes ecause she thought that you were forgiving her and said yes for you to trust her again.you should be with someone that will respect you and love you.and if you never knew that she was cheating on you with her ex who says she didn't cheat on you with anyone else?

yeah before jumping on marriage so soon like this thinking about other stuff that she can be doing in your back.

you need to leave her before she hurts you even more!

[ashliew]

you need to leave her alone. you will only get hurt in the end. clearly she wasnt over her ex and she still may not be.