I don't want to hurt him

Okay so I have a boyfriend and I want to break up with him. we've been going out for almost a year. but we've broken up several times. I don't love him at all. Actually I'm waiting for someone else who will be back in a year. He loves me and I know he does every time I try breaking up with him he starts crying begging me not to do so. I don't want to be with him. How do I tell him to just get over me?

Ive tried to let him know I've tried breakin up with him 4 different times makin stuff up. exp(I told him he should have fun ill be going to college in 5 months and he needs to get over me so it won't be harder when I have to leave) but he doesn't listen I feel so bad. I don't want to do this to us anymore. I'm not happy. What do I tell him.?

 

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • The problem here is that you keep giving in. Be firm, make it clear that the relationship is one-sided, and tell him to stop trying to guilt trip you into loving him. Crying may let him imprison you, but it won't make things better. He needs to find a functional relationship, and the only way he's going to grow is by losing this battle.

    But until he does, you're just teaching him that he can get what he wants by breaking down into tears. He needs to grow up, so don't let your guilt at his misery allow him to drag the two of you down into deeper and deeper misery. It's commendable that you have enough empathy to feel for the fact that he loves you, but you both need a break.

    • Thanks. :-)

What Guys Said 0

What Girls Said 5

  • Uhm.if you're waiting for someone else why did you get with someone else? You kinda f***ed yourself and hurt someone else for no reason. I don't know what to tell you except that you caused it so fix it.

    • Uhm well that is still the same thing. Why would you go with someone when you were already with someone? Again, you f***ed it up. I don't know what to tell you. Just tell him you don't want to date anymore. to leave you alone.

    • Sorry hun did you not read it right?

      it said that while I was going out with him I met a person who I fell for and Iam now waiting for him.

      and I don't know how to break up with this one. he won't let go.

  • Be honest, and make it very clear, the longer he thinks there is hope the worse it will get, make an end to it and don't keep going back because you don't want to hurt him. He will just get more attached.

  • Tell him the truth: that you're waiting for someone else.

    Of course it'll hurt, but it's a million times better than if you keep going like this. It'll be a million times better for him too.

    Then cut off all contact with him for a while until you see that he is fine with just being your friend etc.

    Good luck babe =( I know it must be terrible for you.

  • I have recently been though the same thing. The guy is to attached and won't leave! You slowly stop talking to him and he will call but you won't call back. If he asked you what is wrong tell him you are going though a rough time and you don't have time for a boyfriend. If he gets mad let him. If he really loves you he will let you go.

  • I'm sorry to say but I think you are too weak to say to him that it's over OR there is something that still hold you both together!

    He is ALREADY hurt, he cries and begs - guy should be desperate to do it.

    Making it last for a year you gave him more hopes on something that never existed if I understand you right. Don't wait any longer, have a proper conversation with this guy as it's the better way to explain to him you don't want to be with him! If hi doesn't want to listen - make him understand that it's serious and tell him how YOU feel, because if he starts to moan about his feelings and how he is heartbroken than he is selfish guy, if he adores you so much he needs to let you go.

    You really need to mean what you say to him, let him know everything so he can understand why you're braking up. Playing forgiving games just making things even worse!

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