Girls seeking father figures in an older man normal?

Let's say a girl really likes older men. Not for their money, she has her own. She is mature for her age and feels like she relates to them better. She also likes that they can take care of her more, almost like a father figure but not in an incestuous way. She doesn't have a bad relationship with her dad, or a deadbeat dad, or an abusive dad or whatever, but she just isn't super close with her dad in a lovey affectionate way the way some girls are with their dads, and part of what she likes about an older man is that he gives her that love and special care and type of affection that a younger guy can't give her.

What's so wrong about this? (The girl is in her 20s, of legal age)

Also, I kind of feel like men that age (say 40s) flirt with younger women but don't think the women would actually be interested in them because of the age difference and kind of assume that the younger girl wouldn't want them. But if a man in his 40s did find out that a girl in her 20s is interested in him do you think he would actually go for her? Or would he be put off or weirded out by it, like "there's something off about this chick"


Most Helpful Guy

  • To me it depends on his role in your life.

    Him having a father figure personality is a good trait to have. But will he be a father figure to you? Or to your kids (if you want kids)

    I would say the roles gets tricky when you want him to play the father role.

    He would be your boyfriend. Not your father.

    He can't be both.

    Also it would depend on way you're looking for. Some guys might me looking for an easy lay. Others not so much.

    You should talk to you dad and ask why he wasn't the Dad you wanted then ask yourself if you want the fatherly figure or not

    • Well the man I think of would be more like a boyfriend than a dad he just has that extra affection and can talk about things more maturely and from a different perspective than guys my age. Is he sexual to me? Absolutely.

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    • I do...very much.

    • I read some of your other answers and I believe that you should be honest with your guy

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Not really anything. But I think the kind of girl that dates that much older guys who DOESN'T have daddy-issues is pretty rare.

    • Well would you consider a girl whose parents are not divorced, get along pretty well, but she is just not so close or affectionate with her dad even though he takes care of her a girl with some mild daddy issues perhaps? Like she knows he cares about her but he isn't the warm affectionate type who can talk about anything under the sun with her the way some dads do with their daughters, so she seeks that in a man?

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    • That one is hard to say. Personally I've never met anyone where that big a age difference kept on working. My soon 27-year old sister had a relationship with a 42-year old guy until a couple of months ago. But I think it was more that she didn't want to be alone than daddy-issues.

    • @update : I think the vast majority of men would go for it. We love younger women.

  • Nothing's wrong with that at all. She likes older guys. No biggie.

    • Update: Pretty sure there's a great many guys in their 40s who would love the chance to be with a girl in their 20s.

What Girls Said 3

  • Those psychological explanations are very vague generalizations. I'm exactly like you. I'm so much more attracted to older men, but it's not about the money or daddy issues. It's mostly because they're so much more mature and interesting. Don't take it as something abnormal just because a few researches conducted on god knows how many women brought those results. Daddy issues and/or wealth are not the one and only explanations. It can be just a preference.

    • Yes and some of them are more caring and we can just talk about things guys my age don't really care to talk about..there is a whole dynamic there that guys my age don't tend to have going on

    • I know exactly what you mean & I totally agree :)

  • Nothing wrong with actually. Some girls just do mature faster, and most guys her age are still not as secure yet. Perhaps, she seeks security in a relationship.

    • @Update - You bet he would go after her. BELIEVE ME!

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    • I just worry he would say I'm too young and turn me down. but why would he even offer to take me out if he wasn't interested at all?

    • Actions speak louder than words. Even if he says, "No" you don't take "No" for an answer. You need to be persistent.

  • What's wrong is that she shouldn't be looking for a father figure, she should be looking for an eqaul

    • But why? Everyone has different needs and wants in a relationship. And you can't tell me the two are always equals