The people you attract are a reflection of you. What does this mean?

I read a quote once that said, "Who you attract is a reflection of who you are?" or something like that... What does that mean for you?

I know I've seen some of my faults in the people I've dated. I probably even noticed some new ones. Have you ever had an experience like that?

I think it kinda goes both ways meaning that the kind of people you're attracted to say something about you, too.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, there is also a quote that says, "When having trouble judging a man's character, look to his friends." Meaning that he is what he hangs around.

    Sometime it is true and sometimes it is not. Every situation is different, but I think that it is mainly true.

    In my case, it is true. I hang around honest people.


What Girls Said 29

  • I don't think it's so much the people you attract, as much as it is the people you keep. Like your friends.

  • I've heard that people marry someone just like one of their parents.

    I know that when I was broken, the guys I dated were also broken and/or had problems. You look for someone you can relate to.

  • It's a lie it means nothing

  • Not exactly.

    This is 50 percent accurate...and I understand what it means.

    What I think this is implying is usually the people who you "get along" with are going to have similar personalities with you...thus creating the attracting connection.

    So, it allot of cases people who meet people with those similarities...have shared or are going to share similar life experiences.

    But the reason I agree on 50 percent is because...I can't seem to comply how the possibilities of a person being "physically" attracted to someone creates this deep connection. It just seems inaccurate. In my life, I have meet multiple men who have absolutely nothing in common with me..but think of me as f*** worthy. I myself, have seen attractive dudes that I have absolutely nothing in common with...but I would like to f***. I just feel this statement relates to emotional or mental connection..not always physical. I can't guarantee from appearance how a person will behave...for me and I bet loads of other isn't possible. This is where that "Don't judge a book by its cover" theory comes into place.

    (Attraction has multiple ways of conducting itself...physical, mental, emotional, etc)

  • I had never thought about it before I saw your question. I usually find myself in a twisted situation with those who may be referred as bad boys in society but I'm a badass too so you might have a point

  • I suppose. I don't think it's anything that anyone notices really, maybe a subconscious thing or something like that. I have noticed that my past partners have similar characteristics to me but mostly just a few and not all of the same ones I have.

  • that makes sense to an extent but it is not always true...

  • I like this question :) It certainly applies to me. I'm more attracted to people who share the same values, beliefs and general way of thinking. I'm a very bubbly and outgoing person on the outside but once you get to know me, I'm more thoughtful and less hyped up - and I'm more attracted to quiet/introverted guys. I think I'm more attracted to this type of guys because they're who I am really on the inside.

  • that's true. all my friends act like a**holes but secretly they're really good and interesting people. I can count on them to make me feel loved when I need it.

  • No I don't think that's right , Cause I Attract different kind of People , And There is No one that Reflect me !

    Any Person in this whole world Attracts bad People , & I don't think that everyone is bad .

    For example : I've known in my life the worst People ever and Lots of Good People too .

  • I agree with it to an extent, a reflection meaning the other person compliments you in some way (compliment meaning does the opposite but it fits). For example if you are an extremely needy person and you find someone to love it will most likely be a person who likes all the attention and doesn't care that you are smothering them so to speak and may even help you become a better person because they tell you that you don['t need to do that since they love you anyway.

  • It reffers mostly to friends , but yeah ..that can happen, but not to me :)

  • So... I must be extremely creepy.

  • Sweet guys and perverts. I'm pretty sure I'm not obsessed with asses and dicks. I'm a violent person, I can't be sweet.

  • Yeah I hang out with awesome people

  • I think that means that you usually like the people that you have a lot in common with... Personality wise, interests, that stuff

  • In my view, the one attract u may have some traits u two have in common, that's why u have a feeling being attracted

  • I feel like it relates to loving yourself

  • Basically your personality attracts those with similar traits. Example: if you're one of those smart kids, most likely only other smart kids would be friends with you.

  • Ok I'm fat so why do I keep attracting athletic In shape man?

  • .....

  • I often feel like the people I attract are my complete opposite. I don't believe in that saying at all.

  • Basically people are mirrors of the things you like or don't like about youself. If you don't like something about someone, it is generally a side of youself that you don't like. If you like something about someone, it is generally a trait or quality that you have or want to have. People tend to continue to meet people with the same qualities over and over again. Such as thinking that the grass is greener and moving on to another relationship just to discover that they have the same problems. The theory is more complex, however an example: If you are passive (allowing others to step on you) then you are likely to end up being around people who are aggressive (want to always be in control). I see it this way, everyone you encounter has something to teach you, especially the ones you don't like. If you see a pattern in your friends and partners, it is time to look at yourself and ask what it is about you that attracts these people. Once the lesson is learned the person moves on or the lesson is repeated until learned.

  • I agree.. because you are attracted to people who similar to you.. people who enjoy doing the same things, same morals and values.. yeah and I get "opposites attract" but that phrase means that your partner brings something out of you and you bring something out of your partner.

  • So you're telling me I'm attractive yet a total douche only looking for sex?


  • God, I hope not. If this is the case, then annoying 7th graders and homeless men on the subway are reflections of who I am.

  • Not true I feel like. you can't help who you do or don't attract. but the ones that you are attracted to is a reflection of you

    • nope you can help who you attract. If you hit the gym have good personality dress good, etc. you will attract more people than being a scum.

What Guys Said 12

  • Considering I avoid drama like the plague, I'm going to go ahead and call BS on that. Sorry.

    • You know, people who say they hate/avoid drama are usually the ones who start the most %&$#. :P

  • I'd say that what you believe about others depends on what you think of yourself.

    If I for example hate myself I'm probably gonna attract the opposite since they have qualities that I desire for myself. And if I'm a complete narcissist I will appreciate people that share the same traits as me.

    It's never one or the other of course, all of us have something we both like and dislike about ourselves. The ones that we feel most attracted to are most likely the ones that bring out the good in us and help us face the bad in us, in short the ones we feel "complete us".

    At the risk of sounding kinda corny, to me that's the beuty of a good relationship.

  • A reflection means they're the exact opposite.

    I'm male. My wife is female.

    I'm short. My wife is tall.

    I'm calm cool and collected. My wife flies off the handle easily.

    I'm ugly. My wife is beautiful.

    I'm left handed. My wife is right handed.

    My memory is like a sieve. My wife's memory is like an elephant.

    I have never struck my wife. She has hit me and punched me in the face many times.

    She has said she hates me a few times. I have NEVER said anything like that.

    She's been blessed with pregnancy once. I never had that privilege.

    A reflection = image of the exact opposite.

    If opposites attract, I guess that's us.

  • There is some truth to what you say,but I can't agree fully.For me I enjoy people who are different from me,because that makes things more interesting.Being with someone who agrees with EVERYTHING I have to say all the time can get boring,so having someone with different opinions and giving a new point of view for us to discuss is better.

    It all depends on the what kind of person they really.


    • IT wasn't my quote; it was someone else's. LOL, yeah I wasn't talking about agreeing with everything. I think it mainly referred more to different personality traits, good or bad. I know for me I've noticed some of my good and bad habits reflected in the people I date. :/

    • People do like being with people with common interests,so it makes sense.

  • It means opposites attract is a lie.

  • i don't know what it means but I hope its not true cause I'm a good person but I seem to be attracting really messed up people

  • I would agree to some extent . Not all people who are attracted to us tell something about us.

  • I don't agree with that quote. just saying :)

  • no.

    But if you want to change the world first change yourself. -Gandhi

    • Maybe you just didn't look closely enough. Either that, or you're just in denial ;).

  • It means I don't exist. *gasp*

  • I don't necessarily believe this. I think people tend to date within their age group, and people in age groups tend to be f***ed up in the same ways, so it may seem like you share faults. But honestly the people you attract doesn't say much about you, it says something about them. Mainly that they are attracted to you.

  • cool question. I can see the point of the quote. I'm pretty laid back and non materialistic. Superficial chicks with lots of glam rarely are attracted to me (but sometimes). I guess since I attract so many freaks that probably means I'm a freak :)