Does anyone else get the feeling they are fundamentally unlikable/unlovable?

[Kelly34]

I think the question is pretty self explanatory. I just don't believe unconditional love exists, in a romantic or non-romantic sense, anyone who desires to spend time with me has ulterior motives.

Or maybe I just feel that way because I don't love anyone, only spend time with people for my own benefit and I judge others by my own standards?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I can't say I only spent time with people for my own benefit, but I was like you, not loving anyone, not knowing what love is...

Then life hit hard and I actually fell in love recently... Actually a year ago, and what a train wreck that was! Just wait up, your turn will come =D

I still have a hard time believing someone may like me though. Even when they say so, I always wonder if it's true, and why or until when... Stupid, right? End up sabotaging whatever might have been, so better not to think too much.

[NerdGirl]

Yup, I feel ya. Everyone I meet seems to like me, I just don't like most people back. I tend to fake and pretend to enjoy people and people respond well to it. And once in a blue moon, I find someone who I do genuinely like, and those are the friendships/relationships that I hold onto. So ya, fake it until it becomes real. You're just cynical and that makes you smart, but there is someone out there who will help you open up.

[Janson]

Every now and then, sure. But realistically I'm not, and you likely aren't either. From my experiences, if you want love in your life, you first need to be willing to give it others before receiving it yourself

[Kelly34]

But I don't love anyone. Should I just lie and pretend to?

[Janson]

You don't really need to "love" anyone, but I'm saying that if you want people to care about you in any fashion, the first step towards that end is to show some care for others first. It's the holiday season, so it's a good time to start. Now its a different story if you actually don't want people to care about you or love you. If that is the case, only work for yourself

[Kelly34]

But who, why and how?

Even if I did, and it was successful, I'd still be doing it for an ulterior motive.

[Janson]

Try doing something for someone anonymously. You have to put yourself in the mindset of thinking about others, or you won't get what you want...assuming you want people to care about your needs/wants. If there is one thing I can promise you, its that if you bog yourself down with enough questions as to why you shouldn't bother to care about other people, you will struggle to find people who care about the things that concern you.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Sounds like you answered your question in your last paragraph. You don't give love out, and for the most part 'use' people, so how can you lament reaping what you sow?

[Kelly34]

This is just how things have always been for me. I do not know anything else. Is there really anything else or is everyone who thinks so delusional? I find most people quite delusional about most things, so I'm not sure what I believe really.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

You can try professional therapy. You can also try giving of yourself to others.

[kangaru]

Agreed

[ThatBritishLad]

Pretty much 24/7. Too many things I dislike and too many groups I'm racist towards :P

[Anonymous]

I don't, but I can see how you would.