How to be better at communicating with girls?

Question

Okay so, I have people skills. I can communicate well with others, I'm good with kids, and I have quite a bit of charm. However when it comes to girls, especially my age and attractive.. I suck! I don't really know what to say. This problem usually happens at work, where I work with a wide variety of people. I can be charming with older women, but not with girls my age. I often think that girls my age are stuck up and trying to get through to them is hopeless.

kholland65 · Accepted Answer

To be perfectly honest. I'm similar to you. I'm a social person and don't really have a problem with conversing with people, however most girls my age just seem totally worthless and can't hold a conversation about anything of interest to me. It's all superficial crap that doesn't stimulate me.

Basically its rare that I can find a girl who is able to have an intellectual conversation with me about something like economics, politics, religion, philosophy, relationships, the arts, etc. Usually all they can talk about is what they saw last night on jersey shore and that text that becky sent. BORING!

When they can't have an intellectual conversation, the only remaining topics I find enjoyable are things that are typically specific to guys. Sports, girls, video games, body building, beer, etc.

I know this is my biggest barrier with women. It's not that I don't know how women think or how to pick them up. It's actually quite the contrary. I just simply don't connect with most women my age and therefore have a hard time talking with random strangers.

I find that the guys who are the best with girls are the ones who can just talk for hours about random bullsh*t. I remember reading something to this effect, that simply stated people who are the best conservators are the ones who can simply carry on a conversation about random unimportant things. That I have a hard time doing.

ImSoSozzled · Accepted Answer

Talking to girls is a skill, and just like any other skill, it will improve with practice. It kinda sucks but the only way to get better is to just start talking to lots of girls. You can look for advice all you want online but until you actually start doing it, you're not going to improve. And yeah that means experiencing a lot of rejection, but don't let it discourage you. By simply going up to a girl and telling her you think she's cute, you already have bigger balls than 99% of guys.

nicole93410 · Accepted Answer

I used to be in a similar position with guys, especially those who I found myself attracted to. Once I realized I should just talk to them like I would any other human, I found my communication skills with men becoming better. It takes time, but I'm sure if you tell yourself these women are no different than any other human and take it slow (perhaps start with a simple, "How are you?" or "How has your day been?"), your situation will become better. :) If I may ask, where do you work? Because I noticed once I started working at the restaurant I'm at now, my communication skills as whole started improving as well.

I hope you find something that works for you. Best wishes! xx

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

First of all, you can't just say that all girls your age are stuck up. It is not true. And second, you can't look at attractive young girls any differently than you do older women or anyone else. You don't need to act differently around them. If you're normally charming, then don't try to be extra funny or extra charming.. It will be obvious and a turn off to most girls. Treat them like you would anyone else and your charming personality should do the rest. And don't be so close minded. There are down to earth girls in their 20's with a brain. You'll find them.

rachel05 · Accepted Answer

just be yourself, I used to get nervous talking to a cute guy but the more you say hi and just ask a question like how's your day going? this will get easier and easier, you'll get more comfortable talking to girls and you'll find it easier to think of things to say or comment on.. just start small and basic and build your confidence up! you can do anything you put your mind to!

shiller · Answer

Stop aiming to get with them. They can only be stuck up if you say hi to them and they blank you. Do the same things that you do with others, sure might have to tweak some things.

Talk to them normally, then you become better over time. Learn how to talk to not so attractive people in your age bracket, then the more attractive will be no problem.

Nemocita · Answer

I think you should just be yourself and you will charm the socks off the girls, you should also stop generalizing, that could be a reason why you can't communicate, looks can be decieving and so you wont know who's stuck up if you dont talk to them. Another reason would be that you dont overthink when you talk to the others, so your communication skills aren't all jumbled up, try talking to the girls with a clear mind and see if that works. Goodluck

Racez · Answer

Start talking with the girls in your age. There's no magic pill into making you better.

Anonymous · Answer

Those kind of girls have such big egos that just by greeting them they will assume you have a crush on them.

Anonymous · Answer

Just stop seeing them as girls, they are just ordinary people, talk to them how you'd talk to anyone else. We're not really that different.

voit3 · Answer

Pick your battles. Don't even talk to silly girls that act stuck up.

Anonymous · Answer

Try and picture them as being ugly to you or even imagine them as  being a guy that you are talking to. I know its easier said than done but it works.

Dajana96 · Answer

Just talk to her like you'd talk to someone else. Don't think about it too much. You are eighth though. A lot of girls at this age are stuck up.

2020JT2014 · Answer

That's the exact same problem with me! I sometimes just say to myself just go for it, if they don't like you they are not the one

Anonymous · Answer

Just try to be confident and be urself

Anonymous · Answer

Just be nice.

Anonymous · Answer

Stop being a faggot

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