Why should you care that gays now have marriage equality, if you're not gay?

Why should you care that gays now have marriage equality, if you're not gay?

When the verdict came down in favor of marriage equality, the country errupted in debate, in celebration, in condemnation, in joy, in shock, you name it. Somewhere along my travels I was discussing this when someone asked me point blank, "why do you care about gays getting the right to marriage at all, if you're not gay?" Without skipping a beat I replied, "some 60 or so odd years ago, the same sort of question could be posed to a white man or woman about civil rights." Blacks during that time, and gays during this time don't need to convince other blacks or other gays that they deserve equal rights. They need to convince you to change your mind, your heart, and ultimately your vote. During the 60's a lot of people forget that gay rights activists joined hand in hand with civil rights activists because they thought of the civil rights issue not as a "black problem," but a human problem, one they could very much relate to in their own struggles for equality. This is absolutely the way I view the right for gay rights now and I will continue to stand up for love, because without love, what else is there?


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What Guys Said 77

  • I wish white people would stop patting themselves on the back for making the comparison of blacks rights and gay rights.

    We'd rather not have our race compared to someone's sexual orientation as if they're synonymous. Black Americans have been through far worse than not being able to marry. Also, we had no way to hide from persecution manifested in violent racism. We had no way to hide our children from being hung, we had to no way of getting our sick adequate medical attention, we had no way of getting fair legal process, we had no way of rising from generational poverty in an economic system that was racist. The horrors of being black in America cannot be compared to what homosexuals go through, nor can the reverse be made true.

    I am in no way saying one is greater than the other. Rather, comparing the two suggests a willful obliviousness to history. Why can't homosexual rights stand on their own? Why must homosexual rights piggyback off of black rights? Why are liberal heterosexual whites so determined to prove they aren't hateful that they have to group together two independent groups that they've historically hated and not even ask how those groups feel about it?

    I can't speak for all Black Americans, I and many other Black Americans support marriage equality, others don't. However, I believe the majority of us don't want this comparison. We don't want our journey and our suffering compared to any other's. To do so engages with the horrific discrimination of a people in a way which is too fluid and dare I say carefree for such a serious subject matter. If you have never experienced racism or homophobia then discuss them with the caution and respect that they deserve. It is a touchy subject and should be treated as such.

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    • My point above was not to equate the entirety of slavery on down to the gay rights movement of this century, but to point out that a minority group of any sort is always going to have to seek the support and vote of the majority group if they want to see what they view as discriminatory laws, changed. You cannot re-write the history of my take to ignore the fact that gay rights activists did see the civil rights movement as a human rights struggle that they could relate to, and thus they joined in the fight. That's not to say they thought it was the same exact thing, but, well, the struggle is real for a lot of people, and I don't personally think that if you are fighting for a cause, and you need the help, the voices, funding, power, you can just ignore people who want to help you in your cause if they are genuine.

    • Thank you!!! Preach! So tired of the comparison.

    • There's no serious piggy backing or conjoining of the issues, except by the SJWs. The comparison can still be made at a more mild level, if it only concerns marriage. Oppression olympics need not apply in this situation.

  • I am not opposed to homosexuals having the right to enter enforceable contracts but I resent the use of the word marriage. It is part of the liberal agenda to normalize things which are not normal, to tell people that they can do whatever they want without suffering consequences, and that liberals will ride in on their white horses to save them if evil conservatives don't pretend to love everything that they do. It is a subtle advance, a subliminal message, promoted by the liberal thought police.

    I don't care what people do with their genitals or what places they poke them in, as long as they are behind closed doors and don't tell me about it. But don't try to make me think that homosexuals are just like everybody else. A group can be afforded equal rights without being treated as if they are identical with everyone else.

    I expect that some liberals will respond to complain about my "horrible" beliefs. These will be the same liberals who proudly proclaim that they are loving, tolerant of others' beliefs, and they promote diversity. . . unless you disagree with the liberal agenda, in which case they will engage in character assassination and sham techniques.

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    • You say here, "A group can be afforded equal rights without being treated as if they are identical with everyone else." I'm confused here... what are "equal rights" again?

    • take owner here's an example of what he's saying. an orange has the right to be called a fruit because it is but dont try to make us think its an apple just because its in the same basket.

    • @thatkaruguy Thanks, that's exactly what I'm saying. Men and women can have equal right under the law but everyone understands that men are different than women.

  • because homosexual practices and habits will be incorporated into family law, which will alter regular marriage law for everyone else.

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  • Equality, and the banishment of discrimination, is good for society in general. it takes a certain person to be happy for others. :)

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  • Because we all have rights in the same way for the same reason. The denial of one person's rights entails the denial of everyone's rights.

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  • my friend read this on the internet.

    "If you watch lesbian porn at least twice in one day then you're not allowed to complain about gay marriage"

    hahaa

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  • This country is based on the Declaration of Independence, not on your Bible.

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  • I don't think gay rights even compare to Black people getting their equal rights. So, I really am not that proud for same sex marriage rights.

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  • I will answer your original question: "Why should you care that gays now have marriage equality, if you're not gay?"

    First-off, the answer has nothing - NOTHING - to do with homosexuality or marriage.

    The simple fact of the matter is that homosexuals are an example of a minority whose rights have been suppressed by the majority. This is called "the tyranny of the majority". When we protect the rights of any minority group from discrimination and abuse of the majority, we are actually protecting everyone because, in reality, every single one of us is in the minority in some way.

    Protecting the rights of the minority protects the rights of everyone. It is just that simple. And that's why you should \care that gays now have marriage equality, even if you're not gay.

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  • Oh, well because...

    1. Once we legalize gay marriage, then they will legalize marrage for beastiality and pedophilia, because slippery slope.

    2. Marriage as defined in the bibble babble is between man an' woman.

    3. Its Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.

    4. Gay couples can't reproduce, which for some reason, still matters in an overpopulated 21st century world.

    5. A kid can't grow up without both a mother and a father.
    Their bodies weren't "designed" for that nonsense. S'all nonsense, ya hear?

    6. It's icky!

    drunken-peasants-podcast.wikia.com/.../Homosexuality

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  • GAG is the site for gays Rights now. I sick of this shit.

    Your logic is ridiculous, if you love your dog you are gonna marry with him? You have destroyed the meaning of marriage, you work against nature, nature will destroy you.

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  • The answer is simple. Being gay is against nature. God prohibits it. Its not right it's disgusting and it's simply not natural. There are women out there that god has created for us to have sexual intercourse and relations with. Indulging in such a vile sin is unacceptable.

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    • you don't have to do it then

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    • As I recall, everything in the kingdom of animalia has a brain... And dolphins are nearly as intelligent as humans, as much as we can study of them. And other animals are fully capable of showing emotion, having memories, communicating in groups... Are you saying a vegetative, comatose person with little mental activity and being brain-dead isn't human and suddenly an animal because even house pets have a higher level of brain activity than them? Oh, and what about ALL great apes showing signs of homosexuality, and many, many, MANY more animals, in fact, basically every animal that has been observed for lengths of time to see how they behave as a society? So very against nature, and humans aren't nature, yeah... The correct logic is that animals are sexual beings, and only a couple thousand years ago did humans start being monogamous in the hopes of better chances to reproduce as a species and grow and populate. We were polygamous, bisexual animals just like everything else.

    • Meh. . . whatever.

  • I agree with everything you said!

    I support marriage equality, even though I'm not gay, because I'm not a selfish prick who only thinks about themselves.

    I hate this notion (especially in my generation) which is "Since it doesn't bother me, I don't care." That is such a selfish way to think.

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    • Thank you, appreciate that. It's funny though because you're last statement could go two ways. One, the meaning I think you were inferring which is that, some people don't feel as though they should care about something that isn't a part of their life and should therefore not care about marriage equality, but on the other hand you have people that go, yeah, give gays marriage equality bc it doesn't bother me, and I don't care because they know they aren't gay, but what does 2 gay people getting married have to do with them and how they live their lives. I think though in most matters dealing with any type of equality... you have to be able to see people as just being people and not some aliens. They want for the same things and should have them in my opinion.

    • @Take Owner I see how that can be taken two ways.

      It's pathetic I now have three down-votes but I wouldn't doubt if they were from men in my generation. For whatever reason, selfishness is valued by people in my age group.

    • Even living in one of the states that is most against marriage equality, I have an extremely diverse group of friends who either support it, or don't care in the way that what two people do with their lives is their business. Reading some of the ridiculous responses to this mainly from a specific type of bible thumper who hates everything that isn't them exactly, has just proven to me that we needed this decision to come from a legal standpoint more than ever, and that its not really worth it to get upset over people like that who will never understand it or try to. I don't keep people like that around because in life there are so many differences between us, but we're all just people at the end of the day. There is so much thank goodness we don't have to agree with, but we live in a country where we are free to express that. If that is the only saving grace from debates with detractors, then so be it.

  • I'm fine with gay marriages as long as they don´t lead to gays forcing non-gay people to be like them and i dislike the fact that media keeps giving them attention even tho it´s nothing interresting, in fact it can even be annoying but i know gays are the same as everyone else. What i´m trying to say is that it´s irritating when you keep talking about sexual preferences that you don´t share becuase i don´t know how it is to be gay or how it feels, nor do i feel any connection with any person like that witch is enough reason to not care about gays for me.

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  • Why should you care about freedom of speech, if you have nothing to say.

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  • The problem is not civil rights, it is an attack on the bible and God's teaching who first created the sacrament of marriage. Do you think man thought of this on his own. The maid of honor serves a role, the best man serves a role. As little as 50 years ago, gay did not exist and 80 years ago cars were rare. Federal highways did not exist 50 years ago, with this said, Marriage has existed over 3000 years and has always been between a man and woman. The easiest way to destroy a belief in God is to defile his sacrament of marriage first by destroying the vows, second take the 2nd worst sin, Adultry and make it a slap on the hand or now a hand shake, and take the words "in God we Trust", place this on the money with the eye of lucifer next to it showing which God the USA trust.

    God said marriage is between a man and woman and now two same sex people are going to push and make it ok to destroy the church.

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    • 50 years ago? You might want to pick up a history book as the first documented knowledge of homosexuality is noted in Ancient Greece. I've never understood why biblical people feel as though someone who is gay is an attack on the church. You are going to believe what you believe no matter what, right. A gay person isn't going to make a church or a person who isn't gay, gay. The only people who "turn gay" are people who are already gay, so if you are heterosexual, you will remain so just as they are homosexual, and will remain so. You can wax on about how gays are the only problem with Christianity, but you have pedophiles, adulterers, fathers not in the home, babies out of wedlock, incest, rape, murder... walk on down the sin list. Christianity isn't perfect and neither are its people (the same for any other religion or people out there), so just because you're a Christian doesn't make you good or perfect.

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    • An attack on the Bible? So what, the Bible isn't part of the Constitution. (see the 1st Amendment, see art 11 of the Treaty of Trimpoli: avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/bar1796t.asp )

      The Bible reflects the primitive age mentality. Back then, child mortality was high, the tribes were fighting all the time, needed new births to replace those who died and they couldn't like couples which were guaranteed , not to multiply.

  • I could care less, but why do you care so much if you aren't gay, or anti gay?

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    • Please re-read my take.

    • damn lol i feel embarrassed i fell right inot that stereotype of the guy who asks what do you care huh?

    • Well, if you're anti-gay, then you would care, because you're anti-gay, but y'know...

  • Martin Niemöller, a protestant minister, penned this during the rise of Hitler’s Third Reich. Although we are not suffering under such extreme fascism, I think the lesson still applies.

    "First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
    Because I was not a Socialist.

    Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
    Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

    Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
    Because I was not a Jew.

    Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

    Anything that affects a segment of humanity ultimately affects us all."

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    • someone already posted that. how dare you not read the 60 comments before your own before making a statement. (I kid).

    • Ooooops! Great minds think alike.

  • let em, everybody should be able to do anything like anyone else
    but this means soon we'll have to find someone or something else to hate

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  • Because marriage is the most important institution of society, and I care about the way society looks upon it.

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What Girls Said 23

  • Because if I'm privilaged enough to be able to marry someone even tho I'm agnostic then anyone who wants to marry should.

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  • Because everything is about me even when it isn't..
    Bahaha... I'm just being a jerk. Idc either way.

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  • Pls don't involve Islam in this with all due respect,

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  • Cause of civil rights.

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  • Equal rights for gays could mean that we live in a more equal society with less discrimination.

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  • That's like saying "Why should you care about the war in Iraq if you don't even live there"

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    • You've managed to compare love between people, to killing and war. This doesn't make sense.

    • You're missing the point @26ukdude... she's talking about the logic behind OP's question, not that war and sexuality are the same...

  • Again I don't understand why people care enough to hate. No one is forcing you to be gay, get over it.

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  • Im bisexual + support equal rights = nuff said.

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  • I agree with what bowshots86 said and also gay marriage is wrong and it should between a man and woman

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  • Great take, short and to the point :)

    Even chimps and dogs and sympathy, if a person muster sympathy and empathy for their fellow human being, we're screwed.

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  • I feel the same way. I don't have to be gay to feel that everyone deserves the same rights that I do. We had to have other people care enough for this to happen. This is the US this should have happened long ago. I've been embarrassed that my country has been battling this, where the damn freedom? The 14th amendment was being ignored far too long. Its a shame this basically had to be forced because everyone would not agree but I'm glad its legal now. I have relatives that have been with their partners longer then I have been alive, they deserve those rights, and won't have to move away to get married and have their union recognized.

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    • Absolutely, thanks for sharing

  • I'm pretty sure it's because they were raised to be like that, and it makes them uncomfortable.

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  • It's like saying that I don't care about the state of the environment because I won't have to deal with the extreme effects... my grandchildren will! I most certainly care about gay rights because they are people too-just as much as I am a person. So why should I be treated with more respect than someone who just wants to be able to be seen as a first class citizen?

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  • I agree wholeheartedly. According to the UN, denying someone rights is a form of torture.

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    • Interesting statement given that the UN is one of the biggest civil rights violators in the world.

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    • Sheesh I go to work for the day and when I come back suddenly I blocked somebody and lost a debate that I didn't even take part in... Do I even want to engage here?

      Meh... Rwandan genocide ring a bell? Not to mention the UN's stated goal of eliminating sovereign states governments and replacing them with a single, central world government... Not a democratic or republican one.

  • I agree. I wouldn't want to be restricted and I don't think anyone else should be if it's not harming anyone/thing.

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  • I care because I have male friends that are gay, and I will support their right to be treated equal. No one has the right to prevent them from getting married. I would also support black people, as the colour of your skin won't be judged by me.
    Unfortunately in Australia we are still trying to tell our loser of a Prime Minister that it's time to legalise gay marriage.

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    • That's very much part of it. Even if you aren't a part of the other side yourself, you can put yourself in their shoes much the way some whites did in the struggle for civil rights. Change, whether that be civil rights or gay rights, takes time. Sometimes it just takes seeing someone else go through it first, before changes can happen for your own country.

    • exactly my thoughts!

    • We should all have equal rights around the whole world. I don't need to be black or gay to know that these people have feelings too. We need to love one another more and ditch the hate. Unfortunately that will never happen because there are malicious people out there, but more people should strive to see past the sexual orientation or colour of a person and love them for who they are.

  • I don't care lmao

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  • You shoud care, because you're a human being with a soul. If you were gay, you would like people to care as well.

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  • i dont care about gay people as long as they dont show there stuff in front of me like kissing and what and dont talk to me unless there serving me in a shop, dont like them being more feminine then girls, wy do they need to put it on?

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  • , Being black and being gay are two different issues, you can't compare the two. Black is a race, Just like white is a race. First of all race shouldn't have never been a problem in the first place. No race is greater than the other, the reason so many people are having problems with the gay issue. Comes from what the bible say about man and woman, Theirs’s nowhere in the bible that states certain races shouldn't be together. I just wanted to state the difference in the two, since you compared blacks to gays. And why some people are having problems with this issue.

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    • what the bible says is irrelevant. oh, and read the curse of Ham. the US isn't a Christian government.

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    • I'm confused, are you talking to me or the other commenter?

    • I was replying back to you, but the commenter mentioned HAM. So I responded

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