Guys, what are your thoughts: "If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing."?

[Anonymous]

“If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” -Bob Marley

Guys, what are your thoughts on this quote?
Have you fought for a girl that is not easy?
If you have given up then why?

[AdamThomas]

It depends on what you class as "easy" vs. "not easy".

Easy as in she has very low standards? Then yes it's true. There's a reason they have low standards, there's something about them that puts attractive men off.

Easy as in she sleeps with a guy she likes quickly? I wouldn't exactly class that as "easy" because she's only gonna do that with a guy she really likes.

To say that a woman who plays hard to get and makes a guy work hard for her attention must be a better catch than a girl who doesn't is a load of bollocks. Plenty of these girls think they're a lot more attractive than they actually are. Many do this because in the past all guys have done is use them for sex, again because they think they're more attractive than they are they don't realise that sex is all they have to offer because they have shitty personalities. Many of these girls also play games and string along guys they have no interest in for other reasons. They play stupid games.

I'll take an "easy" girl who doesn't do any of that, thank you. They're more honest and less entitled, they actually put in their 50% rather than expecting to sit back and havevthe guy do all of the running. Hard to get girls usually aren't worth the bother or the "suffering" at all.

[aamina]

Oh please I'm not easy and I definitely don't have a bad personality. I just don't like to sleep around. I wait until in a relationship and for me that's rare since I'll only get into a relationship when I really like a guy. Does this classify me as a girl with a shitty personality who likes to play stupid games?

Sometimes I'll end up in situations where a guy first tries to sleep with me, I turn him down because I am not promiscuous, then he chases me for months to convince me he likes me and prove he's not a perv. The only reason why it takes months is because usually those guys are just not my type, we'll become friends first, then (twice this has happened to me) eventually I'll fall for them. But guess what? both of those guys turned out to be total douche bags in the end, it seemed like it was just a game for them. Maybe they thought I was playing games when I wasn't. I just didn't like them that way at first, but fell for them when I got to know them. but that was a mistake.

[AdamThomas]

Not sating that hard to get girls automatically have a shit personality/play stupid games, just that many do. To say that if a girl plays hard to get must mean she's a better person is wrong, thats the point I'm trying to make.

My girlfriend isn't "easy" or promiscuous but we had sex on the second date, and she's the best girlfriend I've ever had, treats me like a king, is faithful...

[Asker]

Thanks for your input :). If a girl just plays to hard to get, then it is wrong of course. That's so lovely what you wrote bout your gf :)

[AdamThomas]

No probs :)

[RedRhyno]

I'm actually in the middle of this situation right now. I've been giving this sort of thing a lot of thought.

She is amazing, and the prospect of being with her in the future is worth tons of pain and struggle now. Or at least I seem to think so. My friends say she is only leading me on, which very well may be the case, but I don't seem to care. She is currently interested in someone else. So she hasn't been easy for me. But she seems pretty easy for the other guy... Rabbit hole here we go. If that guy weren't around, she would likely be pretty easy for me too... Does that really mean she won't be amazing? She's aiming for a PhD same as me and in a field I really respect. She seems to really enjoy talking about the things I study. That doesn't happen. No one likes talking about the things I study. UUGHHH.

I have reached a conclusion. Being easy doesn't necessarily mean she won't be amazing. Sometimes you're just such a natural match that you slide together without thinking about it. Even with this guy, she feels like a girlfriend. People say it looks like we are dating. When he's gone everything will be fine.

Thanks for asking this question. Don't know if I answered it much at all, but it helped me.

[Asker]

That's so sweet how you feel about her. Too bad she doesn't feel the same :((
I am so glad that this question actually helped you and the thing you pointed out is actually very smart - that sometimes you find this person you just click with and everything works out nicely :)

[RedRhyno]

The thing is though, with the way she acts, she has to feel the same. I've been led on before, it's actually rather easy to do to me, but it's never been quite like this. She makes excuses to come hang out, she loves the things I say to her, and she does everything you would expect a girlfriend to do. I can't accept that she doesn't have feelings for me, even with this other guy in the way. I believe she is hopeful that this guy will love her and be good for her because he is the guy that took her virginity. She is stubborn and gets attached easily. It only make sense for her to be attached to him. I know I was attached pretty strongly to the girl who took mine. For now I guess I can only hope that something changes. She is too good a friend for me to give up. That or I just can't imagine life without her. That's a scary thought... Anyways, sometimes life is actually easy, you just have to be willing to go through the hard stuff to get to the easy stuff.

[Asker]

I liked a guy once, who acted with me like he is my boyfriend. But then I saw that he is like that with everyone and I soon realized he is not interested in me. Nothing happened between us, because I am really good at hiding my feelings and he never knew that I liked him. (He is also not the guy who would take advantage.) Although my situation was very different, I little bit can understand how you feel :).
Girls can be so blind. I am sure your efforts will pay off. Good Luck :)

[RedRhyno]

She doesn't act that way with anyone else. Other than him. Thanks for the luck :) I hope everything turns out well too.

[Anonymous]

I think the quote very accurately describes how I feel about all of it, the search, the girls I like, and the struggle not to give up even though it doesn't look too good right now. The ones I like are amazing, and it's certainly not going to be easy to win them over. It would, however, be easy to just quit on them and look for someone around here that I could be okay with, but then my relationship would be just okay, not out of this world. I just think that in this one life I have to live, I don't want to be with someone who is more or less just like everyone else that other guys are going out with. It sure does hurt sometimes but I feel like I've just got to keep on trying.

[Asker]

That's nice that you fight for these girls. I think a lot of girls who are not easy, really consider if this guy is for them. At least this is reason why I am not easy - I take relationships soo slowly, it takes a lot of time to understand if a guy's personality will suit mine and it takes quite some time to earn my trust. Although I usually think of the guy who I like a lot of time :P, I don't rush into relationships.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, part of why it's not easy is distance. And the other part is that these girls don't seem to think much of me. That's not to say they dislike me, we are definitely on speaking terms and can have a conversation without much trouble. We have some common interests and can definitely get along. It's more like, they don't see me as having the right stuff to be seen as a man, as a sexual being. My life is not in order so I can hardly blame them. I just hope they can see me as a desirable man once I get myself together.

[ForeverFSixteen]

Wow, that's so good. Don't give up because when you meet that one person you'll know the journey to meeting her was indeed long but also worth it and while your other guy friends might be walking around with their "okay girls" you'll have someone who is just perfect for you. Patience is key.

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely. I meant that in a broader sense, though. I mean, my friends are dating good people. I just meant like, everyone in general. People just seem to find someone to go out with, just to have a boyfriend or girlfriend and check it off the list. I want someone that really stands out to me though. I just want more out of life, all around. I don't want to just repeat what all the millions and billions of other people are doing.

[kheserthorpe]

While I'd be willing to fight for an amazing woman, I'm not willing to fight HER to win her over.

If she's amazing, and wants me, and their are barriers between us, then yes, i'd work like crazy to overcome them.

But I'd expect her to be doing the same from her side.

Otherwise... she's not so amazing, at least not for me.

[Asker]

Hmm, that's interesting. I am a girl that a guy has to kinda win over :P. By that I mean, it takes a long time for me to understand if I would really like this guy and if I could trust him...
But that's true that girl also should fight to overcome the barriers, but for that I already have to know that I can trust the guy.

[kheserthorpe]

Well you might get it. You're young, presumably desirable, and you might be lucky enough to have a guy demonstrate everything he has and wants while you play it safe.

When I was 18, I probably would have done the same. I just wouldn't now. I put FAR less stress now on how awesome someone seems from a distance, and far more on how they actually interact with me in a relationship. If my dream girl agrees to date me, but isn't enthusiastic, I doubt I'd ask her on a second date. I sort of have trouble feeling excited about someone who isn't reciprocating - where I used to just imagine it would be wonderful in the future.

[Asker]

Aah, I understand your viewpoint :)
Thanks for giving me hope :). Hopefully I find someone who will wait for me :P

[Daniel121]

This generally holds true -and the older the girls are the more it holds true, those girls who are innocent of their attractiveness realise it and become hard to get

[faabiopontes]

Everyone have fought for a girl that is not easy.
Plenty of guys have given up because some girls are just fucked up.

[Asker]

I might be fucked up :P

[Panzer103]

I have a fee high libido so I'd be pretty easy so her being the same way wouldn't bother me. But a sudden proposition of let's have sex would concern me.

[Anonymous]

A girl who deliberately makes herself difficult and play games is not an amazing woman in my opinion and is not worth "suffering" for. Now if she is a shy girl that's a whole different ball game altogether.

[Asker]

Yeah, I agree with the one who makes herself difficult and play games - they are not worth it.
But what is your opinion on a shy girl? Is she someone you would wait for/fight for?

[Opinion Owner]

It's funny you should say that. There's this shy girl and I know she likes me, well I asked her out and she said she was busy, so I kinda don't know what to do now.

[Asker]

You should ask her when she has time and say if she would like to go on a date then. I am a little bit shy and it takes a lot of time to earn my trust, therefor I sometimes tend to make excuses.. Maybe it is better to ask her just to hang out, but there is a risk of the friend zone :P Maybe it is also good if you wait a week before you ask her out again.. but it again depends. I personally would like it, but maybe she would like if you are more active..

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not entirely sure if I'll ask her out again, I'm in two minds about doing it. I don't want to come off as needy, annoying and/desperate.

[Chris011]

Yea i agree but some girls who are hard to get tend to just be insecure/negative.

[NoblesseOblige]

It's laughable. Ain't no one got time for that.

[Asker]

But if a guy is concentrated to getting the one, then he should invest at least some time..

[NoblesseOblige]

No. Only kids think that way. If you have ideal sexual chemistry, it's instant. No waiting.