Guys don't like good girls ?

ive heard that guys prefer "sexier" girls who are more experienced and comfortable with their sexuality, like party girls who like to drink and smoke and play around. I'm not like this, I don't smoke or drink ( I'm not religious by the way I just don't do these things because I don't like them) and I try to be a friendly nice person. my friends say I'm too " innocent" but only people who know me think this because its not usually obvious until you get to know me better.people usually seem suprised when they come to the conclusion


is this off-putting for guys to be a 'good girl' ? is it better to be a 'party girl'? if so why ? or why not ?

Updates:
just to clear things up this ISNT for religious reasons, I'm not religious
 

What's Your Opinion?

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What Girls Said 21

What Guys Said 44

  • some do.

  • they don't.

  • good girls are the ones guys mothers want to see. sexy is always good I guess but maintaining a balance of both is very important.

  • Yeah, guys may like that kind of girl more because she's easier but he'll want to bring a good girl home to mom :)

  • Dont stress over this... be yourself .. the sexier girls are only good for sex, being a good girl makes you wifey material your the one guys want to marry and have a relationship but those sexy girls are just a roll in the hay..


    Hang in there ...

  • uh it's not like a bad girl is always a party girl who smokes and drinks all the time and whos completely insecure. I've been called a bad girl many times and not because of any of those things because I don't do any of it. They know I'm bad because it's just the aura I give off. I can seduce very easily with just my eyes and body language without even talking. Also, I'm very confident and I strive to not talk badly of anyone and keep secrets. And honestly, guys like me.

  • I'm Not a guy but I would say you could apply the same question to whether girls like the "bad boy" or the good guy. I would have to say the bad boy is the one we all stare at etc etc. But we all want a good guy when it comes to relationships... I like to hope that the same thought process applies to the nice girl vs party girl thing..

  • honestly, I think guys prefer girls that are confident with themselves and in turn this is what they see as sexy. sure those party girls may get most of the attention but it's not the good kind. I'm sure no guy really wants a girl like that to take home, they are just the ones that guys mess around with. another thing is, sure you can be innocent but that's often mistaken as someone who is too quiet, ain't any fun and isn't comfortable with herself. so I'm guessing that's why guys hardly go for the quiet type. but take it from me, you can be innocent but you should also have the personality and confidence to back it up. these things work hand in hand and this in the end is what attracts guys. I've learnt that recently, and its working so far. :)

  • Guys fool around with bad girls and have relationships with good girls. I often hear guys complain about the lack of "good girls". It seems there are more than enough girls willing to get drunk, party and have indiscriminate sex and not very many respectable girls who don't need to embarrass themselves in order to have a good time. You being a good girl is a valuable asset...so don't worry about it.

  • Guys will notice and go after a party girls before they notice and go out with a "good girl"

    That's just life...the party girls are seen as having fun and...I guess better girlfriends

  • bad girl = hump and dump

    good girl= relationships the bad girls wish they had


    this is not coming from a good girl by the way I'm just not looking for that forever kind of relationship

  • Guys honestly would rather an experienced girl. That way its not awkward for them. Also it depends on the guy. If your looking for the typical bad ass who looks for the type of girl who parties, smokes and drinks..your not going to have much luck in that department. Why don't you find a guy whos more your type. One who doesn't do that stuff and or one whos a virgin. The guys who think they're a bad ass usually would look at you as fresh meat as they'd say. Thinkin that they could get you in bed and then leave you. So wise advise! Look at the good guys..they're less likely to screw you over in the end. AND be true to who you are. And don't change because you think more guys will like you. Good luck hun :)

  • Guys like "sexier" girls for a good time because they don't have to worry about hearing the word no. In the end, no good man is going to want to change a ho into a housewife, simple as that.

  • uhhhh first off, not all 'party' girls are sluts. hooray for stereotypes and false classifications. I loveeee partying, being social, and doing whatever I please, but it's self control over birth control for me, and as long as you set boundaries for yourself, I think partying is finnnnne

    • I think she's talking more of the 'hardcore' party girls that people see. Not the small percentage that's not an attention whore. I'm sure you know what she means.

  • Ok so one thing I've understood with guys and maybe you have too

    is that GUYS at their young age of life..lets say 20-25 ish they intend to play around alot

    with the bad girls..so basically their all about sleeping with chicks here or there ( and ofcourse not all guys do this) BUT when guys want to settle down ..do you think they go and settle with a trashy girl ? NO they pick the good girl to take home to their mom :)

  • i don't think this is true at all...

    i think mainly guys like party girls to do just that: party.

    when it comes to a serious relationship, they prefer good girls.

  • Guys prefer sexy girls for sex, and some prefer an experienced girl for a partner too, but some guys are all about the inexperienced or innocent girl for relationships. Thankfully there is someone for everyone.


    I have dallied between being a good girl (most of my life) and having fun now that I am divorced and I quickly found:


    1. FWB is not worth it. I would rather wait to be with someone special than have some temporary sexual fix that usually isn't that great.

    2. I have to stay true to who I am. I like looking sexy but realized I wanted to tone it down for myself because I just feel better and relate more to being the "good" girl. I am a woman now, not a girl, so no one is going to see me as an innocent but I did not find any benefit to being seen as the super sexy woman. Who needs random men gawking just because they think they can get you into bed.

    3. If you look like a party girl and too wild, some of the greatest guys around will be intimidated by you and won't approach you. They may also just want to avoid you. Some guys see party girls as flaky and airheaded and just not someone they want.

  • this is not true as you can see most guys love innocent girls you should always be yourself :)

  • It is like saying girls like a bad boy, some do and some don't...mostly we like the bad ones till the right one turns up who is a keeper - put that shoe on the other foot x

  • I agree with what most of the guys have said. Of course party girls are gonna get attention, but it's only superficial that lasts the night while they're drunk or need an ego boost. Don't change who you are for anybody- especially people who tell you you're too innocent- sounds like they're jealous of your good rep if you ask me. No one respects loose girls, because it's just too easy to act that way and guys see that ALL the time. Guys want something different (innocent) because then they feel like they've found something special, and something that no guy- or not many other guys- have had before. Even if a girl was the most gorgeous person on the planet, if a guy is out with her and there's half the club saying- ah yeah I've slept with her blah blah- he's gonna feel like she's a worthless piece of trash.

    And yeah- like one of the other guys said- the only guys who might be put off by your self-respect, are those who just wanna f*** and chuck. Basically they might be attracted to you, but as soon as they talk to you and see that you're not like that, they think- nah can't fool this one, I'll go for the easy girl over there. And that's all there is too it really.

    You keep doing what you're doing though and sod anyone else. I can guarantee you'll have more fulfilling and longer lasting relationships than your 'mates' put together.

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  • Selected as most helpful

    I think you're mixing up your terms, or creating a dichotomy for yourself.


    An object that's "not hot" does not necessarily mean that it's "freezing cold". Maybe it's "warm" or "room temperature".


    Guys don't like extremes. In fact, they dislike them equally. On one extreme, there's the sorority barbie type. She gets drunk, drugged up, goes from party to party, and can be frequently seen in 10+ people group orgies or your nearest p*rn site. No guy wants to be with someone who has such an extremely loose and liberal sexual nature. It's more than just uninhibited, it's a little too wild and crazy; not to mention unsafe.


    The other extreme is an enuche. Someone who thinks that "not being a slut" means "being a virgin", or "being asexual". That person clearly has major issues with sex, and is extremely inhibited. That's not exactly something any guy wants either.


    Guys like a little bit of both.


    Someone who doesn't have issues with sex, isn't inhibited, is open and comfortable with their sexuality and aware of their sexual desires. But not someone that gets drunk or drugged up all the time, or has slept with 60% of the guys in her zip code. That's pretty much what I think when I think about the "good girl" that I'm attracted to. Not having issues with sex, but also not being desperate for attention are definitely both attractive qualities.

    • I often have trouble figuring out what the happy medium is when it comes to guy's opinion of sex. I feel like most guys want girls to be as virginal as possible when it comes to considering her for marriage/serious girlfriend material. How do you feel about it?

  • I haven't read the other answers so I don't know what advice you've gotten. I say just be who you are and screw anyone who doesn't like it. Don't change the core of who you are to please ANYONE. You be you and let the guys who are attracted to that come to you. If they don't like who you are forget them and find someone who does...

  • I for one don't like party girls ... I think a girl is sexy when she holds her self up to a standard ... not show ass or t*ts... excuse my french. I lost a girl because she wanted to go out all the time and at the time I didn't have the spare money to p*ss away... well she chose the bars and lime lights over a guy that gave his whole heart to her. needless to say a week out and I am still feeling the pain.

    the way out culture is heading men and women are loosing just about every moral that out grandparents have tried to instill into us ... we are going crazy. its the movies the music and what ever else media I haven't covered telling us we have to act this way. well I say its a lie. if your a good girl then be one and be proud. this world could use a few million more!

    • I hope you heal soon and well. There are girls out there looking for more than the material things life has to offer. be sure that you ask a girl where she is in her life before starting a relationship.. it can save a lot of heartache, even somtimes for both.

  • I'm attracted to good girls. In fact, almost every girl that I've ever dated (or wanted to date) was a 'good girl'

  • It's not off putting, and it's not that guys don't like good girls.


    But there's something very attractive about a girl who is confident and sure of herself. A girl doesn't have to smoke or drink or be a party girl, but if she can tell a good dirty joke she's got my interest. If she's comfortable in her own skin, that goes a long way to making a girl sexy. A girl can be brash without being vulgar. "Friendly and nice" is fine for a house warming party or a dinner party. If you're at a club, or a party where you want to meet people, you should let some other sides of your personality show through.

  • loosen up a little. go out and let loose. you do have to drink or anything just party your *** off lol.

  • Theres a word for "party girls" Its called whore. Its used frequently.

  • i don't care about that crap ether drinking smoking doing drugs and a girl that sleeps around is a big turn off and religion sucks too it turns some people into snob mindless idiots I use common sense in life and sounds like you do too and that's AWSOME don't dumb yourself to thinking it will make you attractive even though I don't know what you look like but you sound very attractive to me... girls can be sexy if they are already hott/pretty/beautiful/gorgous or whatever a guy would say about her amazing body and face there's nothing wrong with the way you types of "good" girls are don't ever change : ) its just some guys are afraid to ask girls out that's all no matter how hott a girl is ok... a lot of guys prefur the girl to do that...also a lot of the nice guys prefur a virgin too that will open up her heart and body to us types... hope this helps

  • Well I think you sound NORMAL, like me and I would date someone like you anytime. Un religious and yet not a completely insecure party-freak-clubber person. smoking sucks. Drinking is okay case by case.


    A girl can be a non-clubber-drinker and still be sexy.

  • Guys like good girls, girls don't like good guys. :)

    • I wrote this 5 months ago.

      Apparently, I've been proven wrong once, since then.

      Which is fairly strange, by the way.

      A girl is totally all over me because of how "nice" and "cute" I am.

      It appears there ARE exceptions.. xP

      But exceptions are still rarer than the common. :(

      Oh, and by "good girls" I think I don't mean "overly religious" and "prude" and "asexual".

      My views change as I gain experience, you know. xD

    • So not true! :P

    • =)

    • Show Older
  • I love good girls, but they gotta be 'reasonable' though. In a way like ; I hope she's a virgin and not experienced, I hope she hasn't been touched yet ( or a lot ). I hope she doesn't drink. Smoking is OK. I hope she wants sex after 6 months, not 3 weeks. but not longer than 1 year, that's just ridiculious, guys need it, 1 year of waiting is just tomuch, sorry.

    • Then she?s probably a first class slut who banged alot. (:

    • And what if 3 weeks of waiting is just too much for the girl...?

  • You probably see more 'party girls' with guys 'cause they know how to party, they stand out 'cause they're usually loud, and everyone knows where to find a party girl ( clubs, parties). That doesn't mean that guys prefer 'party girls' over 'good girls'. If a guy is serious he's not gonna want all the drama that usually comes with a 'party girl', and in my experience a lot of those girls don't have good real world skills, as in being able to look after themselves.

  • Definitely not. Being a 'bad girl' will just attract the 'bad boys,' and there are plenty of guys who would much rather have a girl like you than a slut. Personally, I think that smoking is a major turn-off on girls, and I wouldn't care to date someone who I knew slept around a lot...I don't see the attraction in those things at all. Bad girls will mostly attract those guys who are just looking for sex, while guys who want deeper, more serious relationships are generally attracted to girls like you. Don't feel ashamed about your lifestyle at all, it's definitely something to be proud of!

  • i prefer innocent girls.

  • I personally find good girls to be probably one of the biggest turn ons as well as the group of guys that I grew up with (who are always getting chased). I think that it depends where the guy is at. I think that first they prefer party girls and then they move on; that's my opinion.

  • True story, names changed.


    When my high school yearbook was being created, there was a poll for "most beautiful guy/girl" that everyone filled in. Rebecca was very very sexy. Everyone assumed that she'd win. Problem was, Rebecca was a bit of a pain in the butt. She wasn't mean, but she was very self centred and superficial. Always cared about being 'perfect'.


    When the poll was held, Rebecca didn't win. Infact she came 3rd. Another girl, Lisa, won hands down (from memory something like 80% of the votes). Lisa was a 'bigger' girl, not fat, but not model thin. Thing is though, she was the sweetest nicest person on the planet. Always helped out, always said hello, not up herself.


    I often tell this story to girls that think guys just care about looks, but here it applies about personality too. Guys do like good looking girls, and we'll instinctually notice a sexy girl, but at the end of the day, a 'nice' girl is far better then a bitch. We'll have a one night stand with the bitch, we'll marry the nice girl.


    And personally, a girl that smokes is a complete and utter turn off.

  • Listen it's breaking that you see as if that happens but it's not always the case.Am a guy and the silly thing I would do is looking for what you are calling 'party girl" I look for someone who is her real self, someone who appreciates who she is, someone who is easy to go with, I understand you are religious keep that up and let the person who will take you , choose you because of who you are.Be YOURSELF and never allow your self to be like them because you are not them-YOU ARE YOURSELF. remain to maintain dignity.

  • you don't have to drink or smoke to be a playful person. its just awkward when everyone around you is getting wasted and you're not. being the "good girl" isn't a turn off for relationships. guys feel they have more of a chance when a girls had one or two drinks. if it looks like your not having fun, they probably won't want to talk to you. I actually prefer when a girl can control herself. party girls can wreak havoc and are unpredictable... being a party girl makes you approchable.

  • Guys like girls that like them. A good girl is something most guys want, but never expect to get. A bad girl is something to guys go for, but don't trust. Bad girls can be fun, but bad girls aren't good to keep until they are ready to settle the F*ck down.

  • Who are you and where the hell do you live? I would like to meet you!


    I prefer "modest" women. Sex is the last thing I consider if I am looking for a Girlfriend... Compatibility personality wise and activity wise (I like doing physical activities like running 4-6 miles and aerobics, I can't tolerate out of shape women on the principle that my patience for laziness and slowing down so someone can catch up is limited/non-existant). I find drinking an unattractive habit (I believe in maintaining a bearing of absolute self control, and have no respect for anyone willing to chemically alter or destroy their mental lucidity via alcohol and drugs.) I live in Detroit... When I lived on the East Side of Detroit (the poorer district...), Women thought I was queer because I don't burn braincells. I too am a bit religious, but religion is not the driving point of my opinions, but experience... I used to drink, and seemed to get in a lot of fights that way... Went to jail a few times for hospitalizing people. I used to be permiscuous, but that too caused problems.


    I am at a logical conclusion that I must be in a relationship with a non-drinking, non-smoking prude in order to even be attracted to her... LOL

  • Each type of girl has benefits in my opinion, but personally I would choose the 'good girl.' Why? Good girls would be who I would be more attracted to for settling down or being in a more perminant relationship. A girl who parties has a lot more opportunities to cheat, get hit on, or get drunk and then not have good judgement and use that as an excuse (speaking from experience on getting cheated on). You don't have to be open about your sexuality for put yourself out there to be sexy. You should be yourself and not let anyone sway your opinion of your choices this way or that. Good girls are awesome in my opinion :)

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