I get rejected a lot...is this normal?

[Anonymous]

okay, so I get rejected way to much...over the past 6 months, I have tried to get a date with 36 women that I have talked to around campus, I've gotten rejected every time...being rejected 36 times in a row seems like a lot. I can't speak for anyone else, I've only lived life in my shoes, but is this a normal statistic for rejections? is it normal to get a string of 36 rejections in a row?

Now, here's some more information about me: I have a good personality, I'm very friendly and respectful towards women, I'm also funny and easy to get along with. So it seems to me I have the personality qualification, so I don't see how I could place the blame for my rejections on my personality.

Now about my looks: I consider myself an attractive guy, other dudes seem to consider me attractive as well in their opinion: theyve said stuff like "why aren't you a model, you look like a model" or "why don't you have a GF, you're an attractive guy". However, I NEVER get this from women. No women ever compliment my looks or EVER hit on me or EVER even check me out. this leads me to believe that I along with many other dudes that have poor judgment in judging male attractiveness. I'm beginning to conclude that I'm actually ugly, and that my personal judgment is way off (which I'm still having trouble grasping that my judgment is off) and that all the dudes that have complimented my looks also must be poor judges like myself...

So is it normal to get rejected this much? could it be that I'm actually not a good looking man like myself.? It seems my possible lacking in the looks department is the only rational explanation that can explain my results.

Girls, I would love your thought, guys too...

[sasha2410]

Just 36 rejections in 6 damn months and you are crying about it? Cmon!
I approach 12 girls every other day. Each week I ask out around 40 girls I feel attracted to. Out of 40, almost all reject me. 4-5 will give numbers but most will ghost me out. If I count the rejections, it would be over 500 in 6 months (yes, I have dated few beautiful girls as well).

I don't think there is any other way in life. Whether it be women, money, success, or anything. You want it? You have to go and get it. What is the other option in this short life we have?

Rejection is great. But you take it personally. You still care and you haven't paid your dues. Unless you stop caring, you won't get the results. Take it as sales. Each agent expects a sales rate of 1%. They don't take it personally if deal doesn't happen. They talk to 100 customers at a time and seal the deal with 1 if more happens, great!

The more you get rejected the less you would expect and then you will say what comes to your mind to any girl you want. That will come off as you being outspoken, alpha and real. After a while the girls you felt were out of league would be easy to talk to and afterwards would be smitten by your confidence.
As a man, your job is to approach and say what you want to say. Whether a woman accepts it or not for whatever reason is her choice.
Those people who are saying 36 is a lot are the ones who create "her league" and "my league" and give reasoning to failures instead of just keep going till they get what they want.
Cold approach is scary and also you put women on the spot and so most of them say a no, and that's great. I want a woman who will be like: "fcuk yeah! I want this guy rather than those who are wishy-washy or not sure". Why should I? God created me to get the best in life. Why would I settle for anything less?
Today I got great interactions with 4 girls and out of 10, 6 of them said I have boyfriend/not interested. What I say or you say is not important but you had the balls to take action is.
After talking to 10 girls, I was going home walking down the mall. I saw this group of 3 hot girls on a couch. The tallest on the right was the hottest. My mind was like you already approached 10 girls just go home, its late and I was scared. I unlocked my bike and started to ride but then stopped and thought rejection is way better than not trying. I will be happy to take action then to bitch out. So I went, introduced myself, talked and asked her out.

[boi818]

Looks do matter but they are not everything.. personality..and the way you approach them will have something to do with things... So maybe it's the way you come on to women..

sometimes if you come on to strong..women tend to step back and reject a guy... from the way you've described your rejections.. I don't think there are many guys that have even approached that many women in that period of time to even get rejected that much.. so that let's me know you might be trying to take girls out right away or just not approaching them wrong.

[Asker]

Ive already explained how I approach them, and its a very normal way to do it. I don't know why everyone insists on saying its my personality. As I have explained, there is no good reason to beleive my personality or my approach is lacking. But I do have good reason to beleive my looks are lacking: I NEVER EVER get complimented or checked out by women, EVER! therefore I must not be good looking. The only explanation that makes logical sense is that I'm not attractive.

[boi818]

No you didn't really say much about your approach. Do you try taking girls out on dates right away after meeting them? Do you ask any girl out, or do you go for the ones that give you signs that they like you? How do you go about trying to get with these girls? and well the hardest thing is finding something wrong with your personality, it could be something minor that needs a little tweekin.as far as looks you could always work on that. If you're not attractive, then you'll have to work harder

[Asker]

As I said before, once I get their number, if I do, they block me from talking to them on the phone right off the bat. They never returning calls, they don't answer when I call, they ignore my text messages, so I never get a chance to ask them out. I already said women NEVER EVER check me out, so of course none of the women I approach give me signs. I refuse to believe that it is something minor that is wrong with my personality, there's no way women are that sensitive to personalities.

[Anonymous]

Looks have little to do with rejection on my part. If you look fairly decent and I think you have a good personality, I will definitely take you up on your offer. Women are definitely less picky about looks than men so I really don't think you are getting rejected because of looks. It must be something else. What kind of stuff do you say to them? How do you approach them? To be honest with you, if you are all that you say you are, 36 rejections is a lot.

[Asker]

Heres what I say: for example, Ill see a girl studying or something, and Ill say "studying for a test?..." and this is how I initiate conversation. Then friendly small talk follows, we exchange names, Ill crack a few jokes, and then after we've been talking for a while and getting to know eachother, and we are about to leave, Ill just ask her for her phone number. sometimes they give it, and that is as far as it goes. I will call/text, and they blow me off right off the bat.

[autumn_spell]

hey, I'm a medicine student and want to study in aesthetics. I have a little knowledge of face beauty and characteristics of attractive face. I can tell you a few things about your face , as well as my own opinion, if you send me a picture from frontal and a picture from lateral view.by the way, I always try to be as objective as possible and truth-teller about the facts of life to myself. I strongly claim that people (no matter they are male or female) are NOT deciding to go out with someone by looking his/her personality. this thing is ALL ABOUT THE LOOKS. (as well as so many other things in life, sadly..) self confidence and other aspects of personality and behavior that's related to attractiveness of a person take form by the attitues of people towards him/her, which are strongly about the appearence of that person. thus, can you give me more information about your looks? your height, weight and most importantly your face?

[golden280]

im in the same exact situation, get rejected like 8 times out of ten. I am 5'10, skinny but muscular, light olive skin, short nice black hair, icy blue eyes(get compliments on it all the time) biggish nose(im 3/4 jewish), smallish head, expensve clothing, great smile(at least my family always says so) don't really have the alpha male characeristics like protruding jaw/chin. everyone gets rejected and it sucks but it seems I get rejected alll the time by girls who are not even attractive. WHY?

[kranky]

do you still do this? I really have no idea how I compare, though I really don't give much credit to ratings by women anyway. Do you consider facial symmetry, golden ratios, and masculinity/feminity?

[Anonymous]

A general rule for cold approach is to look like you have value.
Give yourself a point scale.
Must reach 10 out of 15. If you're under 5'10" you can take 3 points off right away.
If you're not dressed like she likes men to dress, take 3 more off.
She won't know your income, but if it's over $100k and it's alluded to it, add 3 points.
Nice hair and or smile? +1 pt.
Funny or confident? +1 pt.
Look fit? +1 pt.
Between the age of 28 and 35? +1pt.
Interesting job or hobby? +1 pt.
Have a pet that needs to be taken care of 24/7 (dog)? +1.

Good luck.
If she's over 40, you can hit 8 out of 15 but she has to be really desperate.