Time to stop wondering and googling if you deserve your boyfriend. Time to start thinking outside the box and see if he deserves you. You’re the woman, you put so much more on the line than you think (you take the last night, your body changes because you give birth etc.). You should NEVER settle for less and these are my top 8 signs that he deserves you. Also this can go both ways so men take notes please.
1. He Appreciates Everything You Do
When you give him a ride to work, when you cook for him, when you take the bill instead of him. Does he act like it’s no big deal or does he remember this and say thank you for it?
2. When He Gives You Affection
Does he hug you? Does he give you kisses? Does he do both in front of his friends and not really mind? If he doesn’t do any of that it’s a sure sign he doesn’t deserve what you give.
3. He Makes Plans
Does he wait on you to make plans? Does he set anything up? Does he ever take you out on a surprise date?
4. He Talks To You Before Making Decisions
Will he decide to blow his whole paycheck before talking to you? Or does he consult you before making any major decisions in his life.
5. He Compliments You
Does he tell you how pretty you look pretty? Does he remind you how much you mean to him? If he doesn’t do any of this and just acts like you aren’t a priority in his life, it’s time to let go.
6. He Listens
Does he just nod his head or does he reply back? Do his eyes wonder or are they locked with yours? Body language speaks volumes so keep a close eye on how he behaves when you speak to him.
7. He Talks To You About EVERYTHING
Does he tell you about how his day went? Does he keep it short and majority of his stories a secret? Does he ask you advice about his guy problems (because guys have problems like females do)? If he says nothing to you at all this is a problem.
8. He Protects You
Will he defend you when his family or friends say something mean to you? Will he get in between you and a man whose saying inappropriate things to you? It’s important for the guy you are with to defend you even if you don’t need the help (make him feel like he can be Hercules at times).
Alright so these are my top 8. If you know any other signs on why he or even she deserves you please post below. If you have a topic you’d like for me to write about please message me. Thank you all very much and god bless :) <3
Let me be the first non anonymous person to say, What the hell? You say women put a lot on the line? Yes they do. However men put so much more. In divorce? Men lose any kids 50% of material belongings and 50% of their pay check. If divorce happens the man gets shamed, the woman get praised. Unless she cheated, then it's the other way around. Still. A man in a relationship puts so much more at risk. Pregnancy? No. That's not a fair statement. You can choose wether or not to go through with it. The man in the relationship may have some pull but either it's ultimately their call. Then if the man doesn't want to have a child and leaves guess what? They lose more of their pay check. Yes both sides put a lot on the line. However in modern society where sexism has changed feet men out a lot more. Which is primary drive for men not typically wanting relationships or marriages. My mother and father divorced when I was about 7. My mother is a good woman. You know why? Because she let my father keep EVERYTHING. All she asked for was minimal child support, general living essentials (dishes, bedding, clothes, and basic furniture), and anything that she purchased. That is a good woman. She took what she bought or needed to live and let him keep his things. Can every woman say they'd do the same? Or would they take full advantage of having a vagina in a court of law?
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Thanks for this Take! I loved it!. So many women accept less than they deserve. I have in the past, but I never will again. 👍💟
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
My ex just wanted to get into my pants. I feel terrible because he seemed like he really liked me before we started dating and it was pretty obvious. But as soon as we started dating he began sending me shirtless pics and asking for pics of my boobs even though I always would say no (remember what happened to Amanda Todd?). But since it was my first relationship I thought that sexual compliments were normal. And then three months later he broke up with me while I was hanging out with his friends. He was polite and said "I'm just not ready for a relationship." But he just continued talking to his friends after that and didn't even ask if I was okay or anything so I just got up and left and he didn't seem to care. The next day he seemed to be happy and normal and flirting with another girl. It hurt so much and now I don't think I will ever trust guys ever again. They are all just after sex anyways. And this guy recently confessed that he had a huge crush on me but I pushed him away because I don't like him back and he doesn't talk to me anymore and I don't care because I thought he was an obsessive creep. I highly doubt any guy would deserve me or actually want a serious relationship with me anyways. Thank god I am still a virgin.
Most guys, not all of us, are only in it for sex. You made a mistake trusting him, but you were smart enough not to give him your body. Your instincts were telling you he didn't love you, but you listened to your heart, instead. Your heart is necessary but it will lie to you, as was this case.
There is a way to tell if a man truly loves you. Don't give him sex. Do NOT make out with him (That leads to sex) do not send him pictures of your body. If he truly loves you, he will stick around. He only dumped you because he knew you weren't going to give it up.
Don't punish other men because this first guy was a jerk. Learn to listen to your gut over your heart. One day your gut instinct and your heart will align, that is the man who will love you for life.
If most guys are like this then what's the point of a relationship? Maybe if I ever get a boyfriend again (I doubt it would happen) I'll just flinch and push him away if he tries to make any sort of physical contact.
Also I don't know why but after breaking up with him, I started to become uncomfortable and scared at the thought of kissing, sex, cuddling, or just any intimate physical contact with guys. Thank god I still haven't had my first kiss yet.
I'm a definite fan of the school of thought that questions "do they deserve me" over "do I deserve them". I also liked all the headlines and agreed with them. Adding to the fact you specifically stated "my top 8", I'm left with zero faults pertaining to the article itself.
However, your feedback to some of the male criticism felt sour and left behind a hit of cinisim towards men. It's not particularly relivent to the article, but many will read beyond an article and pick up information you don't nessesarily want assosiated with your work- just something to consider for the future.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Guys don't "deserve girls" they don't bring anything to the table except the possibility of sex. We can get companionship, love, happiness, etc from our buddies or even a dog. Without the bullshit mind games, shit tests, drama, forced attempts at changing who we are... etc. We don't need women for protection or support. We don't need our ego's constantly stroked. We don't need females to talk to since it's impossible to do without them getting angry over something stupid. We can only have real non-judgmental conversation with our close buds. We don't need someone dictating our life and every decision we make decisions.
If someone deserves anything, it's straight women need to deserve men. You want the companionship, love, emotional support, protection, someone to pretend they give a shit about your petty gripes, etc. etc. etc.
*I'm so tired of this "men are lucky women exist bullshit"
"Women gossip" Like guys don't? I hear gossip from both sexes at my class; there are two guys and two girls and their friends, and they enjoy gossiping and making up rumors and making fun of others, while other people at my class don't mind gossip or don't care much about it. "You don't need women for support" this is your personal opinion; most of the couples that i know and see at my school seem to be very close, and when one of them cry, the other is there to comfort them (and both of the genders cry in fact because it is 2015 and guys are allowed to show emotions) "You don't need your ego stroked" This is to you. You don't need it, butmany guys\girls need their egos stroked because everybody is different. "you don't need girls to talk because they will judge you" how many times have you been in a relationship? or more likely, do you want somebody to simply nod and say "yes sir you are right" without criticizing you if you were wrong?
@notgoodwithnames At no point did i use the word gossip.
Men don't NEED women for support. This isn't a personal opinion. This is based on many things. Just because you know couples that seem close does NOT mean the male needs her for support. A guy having emotional issues relies on his buddies for true support because he won't be judged like he would with his partner. Sure there are times a male may get support from his wife but that doesn't mean he needs her for it. Women on the other hand require male support to keep society running, without men construction doesn't get done, the hard labor jobs don't get done. Society as a physical unit collapses. You want studies I can send you links showing that less than 1% of women do these jobs and those that do, don't do it to the level men do. The top 10 jobs for women are all jobs men could do like teaching, nursing, secretary... etc. In regards to ego... males like complements but we don't build our life on getting attention. ...
@notgoodwithnames... women live and breath attention. You can deny that because you don't like critisim but it doesn't make it less true. It's why our entire retail world revolves around women and their shallow desperation for attention. The cosmetic industry, the fashion industry, the jewelery industry, the plastic surgery industry, the medical industry ("depression pills, shrinks, etc.) All survive on the fact that women are desperate for attention. That doesn't mean some men aren't shallow attention whores, and it doesn't mean there aren't a few women out there that don't fall into this bucket. But in the general overall side of it, women more often than not, fit this dynamic.
Your last point made me laugh. You attempted to try and suggest I have never been in a relationship, or that if I was I must be some sort of dictator misognist. I'm sorry to inform you miss, but being critical of women and point out factual differences between the sexes is not misogny (regardless of what you want to believe). I have been in many relationships, and currently I am married to a women and we have 2 children. I am not a dictator and actually if you were to ask my wife or any of her female friends, they would tell you they wish all men were like I am. I treat my wife with more love and respect than you care to believe. What I was stating with we don't need women to talk to because they judge, is completely factual. A male can talk to his male friends about women, porn, and sex without the female getting angry, jelous, or hurt. They can talk to a buddy about male issues and have them understand. We can make comments and jokes around other males without fear of being...
... fear of being fired because we "offended" someone who overherd us. Women change the dynamic of conversation. Everything is analyised and potentially offensive. We have to put on our kid glove filters and make sure we don't hurt or offend the little people. It makes conversation difficult and not worth the trouble. But again, doesn't that mean all mean avoid talking to their wifes... of course NOT. But I guarentee most men keep certian conversations from their partner because they don't want the bullshit.
I really like your list and these are all things that I would want my boyfriend to do. However, I wouldn't say a guy has to do these things in order to "deserve" me. I feel like most of this is just sweet things that anyone (BOTH guys and girls) in a loving relationship should do.
#4 while the idea of discussing large descisions with your SO is something I fully agree with, you make it entirely about the man's paycheck with you commentary.
Also #7 is just not something most guys do. Maybe it is something you want, but the truth is most days are uneventful and contained nothing of note, and so nothing worth wasting her time, or my mental effort with
@93stepsawayfromhome : Same here. If I'm not fully confident in her yet, I limit eye contact. But I will make sure that my ears are facing her, so she knows I can hear her.
#4 I existed and was living just fine before I met and got together with her. Why do I need to consult with her what I'm doing with MY paycheck? Sorry but I feel like a girl that desires this has undeserved entitlement issues. Which is a gaping red flag for me.
#7 Maybe I just don't like yapping all day about what happened with my day? I find people who do that to be tiring and obnoxious.
What are you the queen of England he "deserves" you there is a fine line between self-worth and egotism its simple you like him he likes you he trusts you you trust him there's honesty and caring boom you both "deserve" each other
I think this a cute MyTake. I don't grade a guy on this, but looking at this list of compiled positive things, it's sweet to know that my boyfriend does all of these <3
I think the only way i can love a guy is if he is able to look right through me and understand my emotions, expressions and, in general understands me before i can understand myself.
@Dingsbums now that i think about it yeah most of his days r same lol when smth special happens he tells me when he remembers Lemonlime7 i understand ^^ Thanku guys haha ^^
What about what we deserve? Us men are not just toys you can play with during tea time. :D. We are human beings too so it has to be equal here in the end if you think. :).
This really opens my eyes... Thank you :( And to the guys saying what do they deserve, it's clearly about what girls want. Cause a lot of girls put up with shit more than guys do. I myself, and a lot of my friends.
And what does the woman do to deserve the man? Is the man automatically deserved but the woman must be earned? I'm kidding of course, we already know that's picking at straws.
4
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I say every guy with a girlfriend should treat her as described
BUT if she doesn't reciprocate the guys effort she may suddenly find her phone vibrating much less or waking up alone after what she'll later realize was her last night with him.
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