Don't you hate starting from scratch with someone new?

[derpaderp]

So I feel like all the guys I've been seeing lately have no real chance of going anywhere. Most are clearly just sex, a couple I'm just not interested in and one I really have no fucking clue what's going on.

So basically I'm just probably gonna end it with all of them and start over but I really dread that... it took me months to build familiarity with these guys and finding guys who are my type in this redneck area isn't easy but I'm really looking for something serious and I just don't see it in then.

But isn't starting over the absolute worst? Like I'm sorry but am I the only one who hates dating? I just can't handle being alone but I'm so emotionally exhausted by this bullshit.

Does anyone else currently feel this way? I need a hug:(

[Rawrzz]

I hate finding a girl so, so badly. Though, the reason I hate it is the ridiculous rituals behind it. Why can't it just be, "hey, wanna try hanging out and see if we click?" I guess you could do that, but then there's the finding a good place for a first date. A movie is too cliché. Dinner is too intimate. Coffee is too cliché, and maybe she doesn't even drink it. Lunch is... less cliché, but also, do It really want the first time I date a girl to be when we're awkwardly masticating our food? That just seems a bit off putting to me. You can't rightly ask if she wants to come over and watch some TV or play a game, because that's too casual and birders on creepy--also showing that you never go out. A club is, well a club is ridiculous in all ways to me. Loud music to where you can't even hear each other talk, crazy drunk people throwing up or hitting on your date. A picnic is like a 5th date. A walk around the local pond is too short, but maybe. Still, that would be awkward, 'hey, wanna come walk around the park with me?' Also too casual. Then there's the never-do, "hey, want to fuck me?" That's just stupid, but I'd totally ask that if it worked... At all. Not to mention all the friggin' money you have to throw down after that. Why do I have to pay for it? Isn't that round-about prostitution?

Then, figuring out whether or not the chick it's actually into you, because of all the ridiculously ambiguous 'clues' they have you sniff out by reading a 800 page book on wtf does she mean, only to still get lost in ambiguity. Fuck it. I'd rather stay home, keep my money, and get a pocket pussy. If you ask me, the cost is too high for the goods. Not just in probably wasted money, but in time, frustration, potential rejection--and, last but certainly not least, mind-crushing, soul-shattering heartbreak. Fuck it. I'm getting some cake. And opiates. Cake and opiates win out over any girl.

[Anonymous]

Depends. I actually find it quite pleasant, knowing that I am putting my best foot forward, and with experience, I can actually do more things right and handle problems better.

Having a clean start gives me a chance to identify problems and deal with them before they become too big, and also, we don't take each other for granted. Familiarity doesn't drive very well, intrigue often does a better job. Somehow, a new beginning gives me this unknown energy that just drives me forward not only with her but with everything else I do.

I don't hate starting from scratch with someone new. But if I could help it, I would prefer not having to be with someone new.

Usually with experience it should have gotten easier, if you've at least learnt some lessons along the way, and faster too. You know what to talk about, how to react to things, how to identify problems faster, etc, and how to share things in a better way etc that brings you two closer and more comfortable with each other faster.

(My previous relationship, I got together into a steady relationship in like 12 days of getting to know her... like really know her dreams, aspirations, when she's pissed, what makes her happy etc... all really fast... and of course, figured when things weren't going to work just as fast too, and happily left and support each other for our next relationship).

[LauraMarx]

Yeaahhh :( I feel that
I was in a relationship with a girl from when I was 16, and, 2 other girls for a year or so... And, well, last summer it ended up I became single. Just all at once, y'know... And, I haven't dated since, or even been seriously intimate with anyone... Just cuz it is so hard to build that up, you know? I do find that particularly tough, yeah.

So I'm feeling you :(
[offers hugs]

I think some time alone is okay though. I have my close dyke friends and I'm doin okay. Friendship is powerful, in my opinion. So its okay... And if your partners are just draining you, then, its better to be single and keep yr emotional labour power to yourself!

good luck!!!

[abundantlyrich]

You're an old soul inside :P

[LauraMarx]

hehe :3

[SweetSweetheart32]

Most of guys that are my friends just want to be my friends none of them want to date me , I don't understand why , you can feel one way from a guy friend , they. Seem not interested like they well ignore you after awhile. Why do the guys I had a crush on ignore me when I say hi , it's kind of rude. I feel like okay I just said hi
Noting wrong with that they guys just look at me and just don't say anything or they well talk to my other lady friend that is with me. Why do some guys ingore me after feeling like they were the right guy for me.

[ninalau]

Definitely. It's personally really hard for me to move on from relationships just because I want to hold on to that closeness more than anything. Like you know all their likes, dislikes, quirks, you know them well enough to realize if they're having a problem just by how they say things or don't say things, and exactly how to make them feel better again. It's hard to throw that all away and relearn a complete stranger. I hate it.

[derpaderp]

And also the feeling of safety around them so its easier to let your guard down and be yourself and have a nice time

[ninalau]

EXACTLY! It's so difficult for me to open up as it is. It's basically devastating to me when things end because they become the only person I can trust.

[derpaderp]

Yeees like if a guy gets to be familiar to me that means I poured a lot of emotional energy into just being totally comfortable... so when its clearly going nowhere my heart just sinks cuz I have to do it all again with someone new or be alone:(

[ShyGuy30]

I'm the exact same I'm mostly over my last (and first ever) relationship of 4 and half years I feel in some ways intimated to try again with someone new because as you say its hard to re-learn someone new. I feel like just giving up and alone forever haha

[ninalau]

Thanks for MHO (:

[arashmenalagha]

damn

[ninalau]

Damn? lol @arashmenalagha

[arashmenalagha]

yeah that was a good answer

[ninalau]

Oh, well thanks! (:

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I actually enjoy dating. Think of it as a chance to make new friends, memories or at the very least interesting stories to tell ur girls

[Jennsmith9982]

Pretty brown is an ugly worthless cock sucking bltch tat needs to be castrated don't let this useless thing breed more of her crazy shlt kind. Shoot this thing

[derpaderp]

@Jennsmith9982 bitch you needa get back in line. She didn't say anything jesus

[LauraMarx]

holy shit!! uncalled for? woah

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Dont mind her, she's just psycho

[Blondiee2014]

Yeah I feel the same, and I also hate being single I generally enjoy having a girl companion all the time.
And you say your dating guys, what kind of situation is that I don't understand?
They all think your exclusive and think they are the only guy but really your sleeping with multiple guys? I would say ditch them all as well if that's the situation, start again by dating one guy at a time, you might find a better quality guy than going for quantity and ending up with mediocre.

[derpaderp]

No they all know I'm seeing other people. I've been seeing them all at least a month. All nuce guys, just no real potential beyond sex or w/e

[Blondiee2014]

@asker ditch all of them then, if your looking for more than sex then you already know they're not what your after.

[linkywinky]

No. I love, love, love learning about new people. I like learning about what makes their heart beat stronger, what gives them purpose when they wake up in the morning. I love learning the sound of their laughter, the quirky way they say things. I love getting to know where they stand on things, what their dislikes and likes are.

I love discovering the way their body is made, and how the world has shaped and molded their heart.

[LaDouleurExquise]

yeah its kind of a pain in the ass. i mean there's always the refreshing feeling of a change of scenery but sometimes you just want someone who feels like home. and dating new people is shit too, you set your net wide and get nothing or set your net smaller and spend way too much effort on a lead that doesn't pan out. when at the end of the day you dont give a shit about the chase, you just want someone to fall asleep in your arms.

[Mesonfielde]

Emotional investment with no reward certainly sucks. That is why so many people settle with subpar relationships.

Technically, this is the exact same reason why I hate shopping for clothes. It takes way too much effort with possible lack of reward.

[playdatesx]

If I really genuinely like the person, then I'll have the patience to develop a relationship with them, and it's totally more than perfect.

Otherwise, OH MY GOD YES I HATE THIS CLEAN SLATE BULLSHIT.

[arashmenalagha]

Nobody likes to start from scratch but sometimes it just feels like you have to do it I guess. or you don't either way it's up to you. Do you think you need some time alone for like a week or two or more?

Personally, I think it's sexy that you don't want to just start all over. Good for you.

[AmberDawnxo]

Hugs!! Defiantly with you girl. It can be really emotionally draining. Sorting through what you like and dont. I'd say try not to just focus on that ( finding someone) make sure you have other (fun) things going on to do by yourself so that it takes the stress away. Just going through the first stage is hard cause you just want to get straight to the point and no b. s. lol. But in the long run you will find someone and it will be worth it.

[JH5022]

I know how you feel, you just need to keep giving it effort and find the guy you really like while being yourself. When you find the guy you really like, try to be around him when you have free time as much as possible so your relationship becomes stronger. That's what I would do when I really like a girl, spend as much time with her as possible when I have days off or free time.

[Spring_Lucky]

I felt the same exact way not to long and thought about doing the same thing. At first I was really against it until I figured I rather take a chance and not be with anyone for a while instead of being with a guy that's not really going anywhere and Being completely unhappy.

[thisGUYknows]

Sounds like dating you is too easy. U give too many guys opportunities to impress you when your heart isn't in it the slightest bit. If I can recommend something, don't date a guy for a while. It sounds like even you aren't sure what kind of guy u like. I'm sorry if this comes across mean but you're too much in a hurry to find Mr. Right. Dating is about trial and error. So u shouldn't worry about perfection just yet..

[Agrojag]

I feel that way completely. I'm tired of trying to impress superficial girls who judge me based on ridiculously vain things. Even then I don't want to start over and find out what a girl likes, doesn't and blah blah blah. I'm not even bothering with relationships right now. Luckily I don't mind being single and based on my experience it's in fact a preference.

[cavmanier]

I know what you mean: it can feel nice feeling comfortable and knowing the person past the beginning stage. The hardest part for me though is finding someone I'm attracted to enough while really really liking them as a person.

[Imtheone88]

good for you... start looking for a new one.
no its not that hard, we make it harder than what it is. take it easy and don't be afraid. might be a lot of work but at the end you might find the one you want who will be worth the effort. you have to try.
hmm... i don't hug strangers, but ok *hugs.

[James0]

It's tough finding someone :( half the time I would be looking for someone serious to find out they aren't interested, taken, or not who I thought they would be. It gets tiring really fast spending time to get familiar with them. Try some ice cream or a nice long bath that always helps me

[JackKerouac77]

I like starting from scratch, but I hate when it doesn't at least develop into friendship.

Then I just feel like time has been wasted.

And yet still... there is always something learned.

*hug*

[miserybusiness]

I absolutely hate it. Wish we could just fast-forward through all the "hi how are you? what do you do? what are you looking for?" nonsense. When you become more familiar with a guy, he starts to seem more "real" if that makes sense at all. And then it's difficult to let go of what you've become accustomed to.

Anyway, here's a sympathy hug, OP. *hugs* Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Wait? Multiple guys at once, and you wonder why it is just about sex?
You are not seeing guys, you just have multiple fuck-budies.
Lose them. Stay at masturbation for now. When you meet a cute guy, focus on him! Are you not getting a crush on him soon, then ditch, next!
If you don't get the butterflies, it is not the real thing.

[Anonymous]

I hear ya, honestly I don't date much because I just don't feel connections with people very often. There's a couple cute girls at my job but I look at them and think "Man I really cannot see myself with either one." I know I could sleep with them if I wanted to but what's the point? The last girl I had a real connection with is seven states away now :(

[Anonymous]

Nope. Relationships are not my central focus in life. I'm extremely devoted when in a relationship, but don't really actively crave one when I'm single. It's more so, if a good person comes along I go for it. I enjoy learning about them, but don't like the lack of trust and honesty.