So, long thing short: I develop feelings for my good friend, she is attracted to another guy, i eventually tell her how i feel, she doesn't feel the same way, but because we've been good friends we decide it's worth remaining as good friends - i say that i'd rather she be in my life as a good friend than not at all. Fair enough.
Meanwhile, the guy she likes will flirt with her, but otherwise will not reciprocate any desire to actually date. they have hooked up at parties. He and I are both confident, hard working guys in college. I'd say he's more of a typical bar guy, and get's aggressive. I'm more sociable, or almost always in a good mood.
While this goes on, I've somehow filled a role where she says i'm the best friend she's had in a long time (and she has good friends, don't get me wrong), can be serious or goofy with me, she has said things like "you're like my husband" (usually when i've been reliable or just called her out on something), and says "i'm gonna end up marrying you". my position is basically those are words, so i don't hold them very seriously. She has twice called me over, actually cooked me dinner, and i have met her mom twice, who i'm told likes me quite a bit.
Despite all this, she actively seeks out other people to date, and has consistently been interested in the other guy she's liked for a few months.
I consistently occupy the position of great friend, who she can have fun/be serious/confide in, but i'm apparently not a dating candidate.
I'm not a shy guy, or unassertive. I do actively flirt with her, and to some extent she flirts back. But it's all in the context of a close friend.
Why am i not a candidate for her to date? And if she's really not interested, why retain me and keep me so close?
I'm not developing feelings cause I'm hung up on her, I'm developing feelings because I'm always engaging with her as a person.
Advice?
Meanwhile, the guy she likes will flirt with her, but otherwise will not reciprocate any desire to actually date. they have hooked up at parties. He and I are both confident, hard working guys in college. I'd say he's more of a typical bar guy, and get's aggressive. I'm more sociable, or almost always in a good mood.
While this goes on, I've somehow filled a role where she says i'm the best friend she's had in a long time (and she has good friends, don't get me wrong), can be serious or goofy with me, she has said things like "you're like my husband" (usually when i've been reliable or just called her out on something), and says "i'm gonna end up marrying you". my position is basically those are words, so i don't hold them very seriously. She has twice called me over, actually cooked me dinner, and i have met her mom twice, who i'm told likes me quite a bit.
Despite all this, she actively seeks out other people to date, and has consistently been interested in the other guy she's liked for a few months.
I consistently occupy the position of great friend, who she can have fun/be serious/confide in, but i'm apparently not a dating candidate.
I'm not a shy guy, or unassertive. I do actively flirt with her, and to some extent she flirts back. But it's all in the context of a close friend.
Why am i not a candidate for her to date? And if she's really not interested, why retain me and keep me so close?
I'm not developing feelings cause I'm hung up on her, I'm developing feelings because I'm always engaging with her as a person.
Advice?
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