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I think that if you are gonna be a housewife, you should clean up the house, but your husband should still clean up after himself as far as putting shoes, games, and etc away. you don't have a child, you have a man. Cooking wise, yeah, you should cook, but just like the cleaning, the man should give you a break from it every once in a while. maybe help you clean on a weekend or cook dinner a night. Simple stuff to show he really does appreciate what you do.
If you both are working, regardless of who makes more money, it should definitely be split more in half. If you're putting in around the same hours, I don't see why you both can't find time to help around the house or cook (or he/she should at least order out dinner so you don't have to worry about it). Little clean ups can be done during the week and bigger jobs can be done together (or as a family) on weekends.
I believe that all things should be divided equally among you guys if you are both working and both watching the kids and both doing what you have to do for the relationship. everything shouldn't be on one person.
and for those of you who say 'she should at least cook and clean' let me tell you - cooking and cleaning is a full time job except you don't get paid for it. it's tiring to mop the floors, vacuum, get the breakfast, lunch, and dinner prepared, fix the beds, do the laundry, dust, wipe down glasses, do the dishes, clean the stove, pick up the kids, drop off the kids, find the sitter, pick up toys, shoes, socks, rearrange the household, get the groceries, plan appointments, etc, etc and at the end of the night, give your man the extra loving that he needs. especially if you have younger children. you shouldn't make it seem like your significant other is just resting their laurels while you're working.
Most men want someone that can cook and clean because men instinctively look for someone that would be a good mother...they don't think every girl they meet is going to be their wife or babies mom but its programmed in their genes kinda like the voice in the back of their head...if a female is a slob then their cave would be messy and little cave man kids would be running around in crappy diapers all day...but you say that you cook? you have to have clean dishes to cook right? who is supposed to wash those? who is supposed to wash the clean clothes you put on? I do not believe a woman should wait on a man hand and foot he should help out too but NO man wants a woman that does not keep herself and her house clean I take pride in my house being clean its a reflection of me as a person I would never allow someone to come over and find my house a mess so I make sure its clean at all times...when I go to someones house I may notice it being clean but ill notice it being dirty and nasty even more
I love to cook and clean, but then that's just me. I tend to clean or cook for people as a way of saying thank you or expressing affection or things like that. Having said that, I could never deal with a guy that EXPECTED me to cook and clean everything for him. The only exception being if we were married and he had a really good job so I didn't have to work for money, then I'd keep the house for him. But in return, I'd expect a decent allowance!
The more normal situation these days though is that both halves work for money though, so in that situation, why should one person have to do all the work? It's just unfair. Take it in turns,set each other different responsibilities, do half each, whatever. You can't pin everything on one person.
Yes it matters, we don't need a girl that thinks things like that are beneth them which is the trend today. Nobody cooks, nobody cleans, few can take care of kids well, even fewer can drive worth much especially long distance.
Does this mean it's your job for life, hell no. Just like you want a guy that can do it all and between you two can figure out who will do what over time. We wants girls that can be proficient enough to do what we might mistakenly call "the basics".
Lets get serious for a second? Your going to do what it takes to have a 40+ hour job for the next 40 years regardless of how much it sucks without complaining? If so your rare, if not then what are you going to do for 40+ years without complaining to help the team?
I know many girls that have this weird notion that being good at blowjobs and decent in bed is all that it takes to get a guy. They get their guys, their asshole guys and in a few years they lose those guys.
It's a good question but the answer is simply know how to do it all with a smile on your face and don't think something has to be "your job for life" until you both agree to that or switch off.
You meet the right guy for you and this will all fall into place anyway, trust me your mind will figure that out in a matter of seconds when you find him.
Not an issue. That is provided she can fend for herself a little and that she's willing to split the housework. If these two things happen to be what she loves to do, or she's much better at it, we'll try to work to our positives.
See, I love cleaning with music blaring and when I can do it on my own. I just naturally fall into a clean category when it's on my own terms. I don't mind cleaning, so long as it can be lighter, and made into something more fun.
If she's really good with finances, she's welcome to handle that (hope she does! lol), and I'd watch the kids. Play to strengths and natural ability and level of joy works better than many other ways of doing things.
Working together might also be fun.
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Did you watch Rachey Ray today? Haha, this lady cooked and cleaned for her husband. She thinks that she should always be happy when her husband comes home and gives him sex whenever he wants it. Even if she isn't in the mood. She always looked good for her husband and had a hot meal on the table ready for him everyday after work. His job was to work and make money and play with the kids. But she was extremely happy it looked like!
My boyfriend and I were talking about this. I think people should cook or clean TOGETHER. Or take turns. It's fun when my boyfriend and I do dishes together or make supper together. It's bonding time and less of a chore then.
The end goal is having a nice place to come home to that you can relax.
When my wife and I both worked, we shared the jobs of cooking and cleaning. There wasn't a lot of cleaning before kids anyway! ;) Once we had kids and my wife stayed home to take care of them, she took on more of the domestic responsibilities because she was there. At the end of the day, being able to come home to rest, play with the kids, enjoy a movie with my wife makes for a much better overall evening than not having a place to sit on the couch because of the toys, piled up laundry, etc. Does this mean I don't contribute to cooking or cleaning because it is her job? Not at all. Is this for everyone? Of course not. Would I be disappointed if my house was always trashed when I got home and I had to bring home take out every night? Yes.
Seriously if my guy expected me to do all the job then he wouldn't be my boyfriend in the first place, am not a sloth, I clean after myself and actually am a neat freak.
but if am nice enough to cook, clean or do those sweet stuff because I care about him that doesn't mean that he has to get used to it, he has to do this every once and a while.
I'd be working too, if we have children, we d both teach them and help them with thier homework., I will not be the submissive wife whatsoever.
Am not a maid or a chef... isn't it enough that we get pregnant and give birth and breast feed as well!
You can't expect a woman to do everything! she needs a break too! even if she doesn't work, actually doing all these things is considered a job!
but since id be working, he is going to have to do his part of the job as well!
Am a feminist and am proud to be!
if you don't have a day job- you are expected to cook and clean. pull your weight in the relationship.
most guys work hard. I know I do, I work 6-7 days a week and put in at least a 10 hour day everyday. when I get home its so awesome to have a meal ready. Is that so much to ask when you have the house to yourselves ALL day? I'm not a complete piece of sh*t, ill help with cleaning, but don't expect too much from me, between giving you the attention you need, and working hard at my job I'm pretty spent
I dunno, a girl that cooks for me is ultra sexy mode. I think it has to do with the fact that her cooking for me is just that, she's doing something "FOR ME" and that's a personal treat I'll always appreciate. It's kind of dumb, I don't know if it's a genetic thing or not but I haven't met a guy who doesn't like a girl that cooks for them.
Cleaning to me isn't something of a requirement but I'd like to see that she's willing to get her hands dirty and not act like she's above cleaning. Some girls act like they're too good to clean and that sends all the wrong messages to me. It's more a respect thing, don't expect a guy to like you for making him clean stuff you'll never do yourself. I'd never ask my girl to do anything I wouldn't do myself.
Share the duty's and take care of eachother; a woman isn't a maid to cook clean and play for you. Though she should have sense to do her part as well as the man should. If he drops his clothes after a long shift back from work, he should pick them up in the morning unless he's running late. Be understandiong that's all. Personall my wife always did the cleaning and cooked for me; then again she didn't like me helping her, "This is a womans duty to her husband, I have to do this." was what she always said to me when I tried to help.
Hope this helps.
I don't want a woman that feels she has to 'cook and clean'. Most women also work a full 8 hour day like their husbands do. I told my wife that I neither want nor expect her to come home from work and cook OR clean. I can cook for myself and I know how to clean up the house, and I do just that...I don't want my wife to spend her time after work cleaning and cooking...That is what my own mother did for my father...and that just will not fly in this day and age.
Yes it matters, it's small things like cooking and cleaning, or other day to day activities that show that you are contributing to the relationship. That's not to say it's all on you. It's a shared duty. It only matters as much as you do your share too.
yea its nice if a woman cooks and cleans but its not neccessarily a deal breaker.
cleaning is just an added bonus.
one day I had to leave a girl in my room for about 30 mins while I went to the shop and she cleaned everything. I thought she was cute before but I have to admit I thought that she was an awesome girl after she did that.
its not that we want a slave cleaning after us, its just an added bonus to put on your Love CV
I'm all about equality, so no it's not a requirement, however I can say it helps me if both of us are helping out. I can say if I'm the only one cooking or cleaning, it really starts to make me feel very resentful, and then I don't want to help out at all. So I can very much relate to your question. I would like to note that having kids makes house chores even worse, because all kids are about insane anyway and getting them to help is an exercise in frustration and often futility.
Well I'm an awesome cook so I would probably do the cooking anyway. The cleaning however I would only do if my woman was either pregnant, on her period, injured, sick, or earning more money then me. After all a close relationship is like a business. It can't survive if both people aren't contributing. I would never get angry at her for not doing it though as long as she isn't the one creating most of the messes lol.
Yes, because if your not making the most income in the house, you should take care of the little things like cooking and cleaning. If your making more money then him, then he should have the time to do it himself but if he's brigging home more money, I feel he shouldn't have to worry about washing the dishes and cleaning the toliets
Let me answer your question by asking you this, wouldn't it be nice to have a guy who helped make your life a little easier and did things for you that made you happier without out asking or even suggesting it?
Most guys would like that, but we don't demand it or consider it a deal-breaker (at least any decent guy shouldn't so long as they clean up after themselves, or have a method for keeping things tidy be it maid, or they themselves clean) for a relationship. And most guys do like to eat, especially if it's something they themselves don't often prepare or in many cases don't know how to prepare.
Hope this answers your question.
I'd say it's essential she should be prepared to cook and clean because I'd never again live with a woman who contributed nothing to the household but her dirty dishes, laundry and trash. I did it once for my slob of a sister because she needed a place to stay, but, as I said, never again.
I want a woman who CAN cook and who CAN clean. I'll never forget one of my ex's roommates (three of them) in college who were complete slobs and one of them couldn't even boil water, but could do calculus. I'm not gonna be with someone who can't even take care of themselves, much less take care of me if I'm sick or take care of their (in the future) family. Women who can't/won't cook and clean are a giant red flag. They're either incredibly dependent or they possess this mentality where they believe that it's "beneath them."
OK. You seem to be a liberated woman. Into all that equality and stuff... highly concerned about being treated as an equal and not a servant.
So, Tell me. What do YOU think should be the split up of the household duties? I mean if we are talking about a truly equal relationship here what are you bringing to the table and what are you expecting?
Most women don't like to clean! lol. I mean, I clean when I'm stressed, but I'm generally a tidy person to begin with. But I think there is something to be said for an "old fashioned" woman who can cook, clean, and do other old-school stuff. Without sounding gross, guys do like women that are somewhat like their mom's. (No Freudian jokes)
Haha, I hate cleaning and I hate cleaning! Any guy who wants me to cook and clean for him all the time can get lost! My plan is to go to school after grad, get a really good job and hire a cook and a maid to clean my house once a week or so. That way, I can fully support myself financially and nobody's gonna tell me to cook or clean!
HELL no I would rather be dead than have someone cook my food for me or clean up after me like I was 8 years old. NO WAY should any one be cleaning or doing any thing else because of their sex. If a woman I was with did that I would question why.
ive always thought cleaning would be an equal thing that you both share, and as for cooking well I actually really enjoy cooking, my mates take the p*ss and call me gay, it probably dos'nt help that I dance to quite camp songs like fame while I'm doing it.
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