Should I be jealous of my boyfriend's female housemate?

[twinks]

Basically me and my boyfriend started dating in October last year. We had been friends for about a year before this but I had a boyfriend so I never thought of him in this way. Between October and December we were having a great time, we both met and got on with each ocher's friends, and were v compatible, However over Xmas break I found out that he'd been talking over Facebook to a girl he works with. He admitted to her that he fancied her after she told him she fancied him, but because of me, he wasn't interested in doing anything about it.

I was upset but he reassured me he didn't even mean it, he just felt awkward and didn't know how to handle her throwing herself at him. We recovered ok from this, but sometimes I do dwell on it a bit. The next month, he tells me that he is moving in with a girl he knew from his first year along with 2 guys from our course. The only thing is when me and my boyfriend were just mates he had told me that he had had a thing for this girl and that she was 'messing him around' (apparently nothing ever happened)

I agree to a night out with them, and all night she does not try to hide the fact that she doesn't like me and is flirty with my bf. I snap when we get in and tell my boyfriend that if he does move in with her, I will refuse to go round to his house or have him at mine. He signed the contract anyway, despite telling me that if the situation were reversed he would hate it. He didn't help matters when he went and told this girl that I didn't like her. (her reply was 'not many girls like me')

Please help. I don't want to lose my boyfriend besides this he is v caring and loving, but I can't stand the jealousy anymore. He tries to reassure me he doesn't have any feelings for this girl but it doesn't seem to make a difference to me. What would you do? Btw please be honest if you think I'm being crazy.

Updates

+1 y

turns out he did like her. he got me pregnant, found out, dumped me. he left me to get an abortion by myself, with not even so much as a text to find out how it went. he's now sexting her. I hate men

[themastaplan]

first off I wouldn't be worried, I mean I don't know your full situation but ui live with my buddy and 2 females...think about it this way...depending on teh type of guy he is, he could be thinking the way I am right now...my roomates are attractive and if I had met them out I probably would ahve tried ot flirt and make a move on then. But due to the fact that we hav ea year contract with them and things could get crazy if we hooked up and then one of us brought back someoen else...eh it just wouldn't be a benefit to hook up with her...see what I mean? I know people are saying you gotta talk to her about it, but you NEED tot alk to your boyfriend...by doing this you are letting him know how you feel,

say "ok I understand you went against what I asked you to and that's ok, I'm ok with it because I trust you and I realized I was being selfish. but due to the past you have had with this girl and how honest youve been with me it just leaves me feeling a little jealous and nervous. I trust you but its that I don't trust her, it makes me a little uncomfortable and I just want us to communicate about this so we don't end up in any fights over this situation."

or something along those lines...just be mature, relaxed, get him in a area where you both don't feel pressured to be defensive or angry or yell, etc...you've got to be open and honest otherwise he'll be confused why you act certain ways and it could end disasterous.

anyways I hope this helps, just be up front honest, CALM AND RELAXED...show him you trust him but also that it makes you feel weird sometimes, don't make him feel like he's got to defend himself becuase it will most likely end in an argument and your point of letting him know what's on your mind and how you feel will be lost because you both will be p*ssed at each other...good luck!

[Jack-ski]

Dont be jealous, not every woman in the world we are friends with or know wants to jump into bed with us.

I used to live with 2 girls in the UK, nothing happened between us, just good housemates. Had 2 girl housemates in Canada, again same thing, I'm currently living with 2 girls in Australia, there lesbians, but nothings happened.

best things is because there's no sexual tension, anything like that, everyones happy, comfy, we can walk around in our underware, drink, have fun, talk to each other, just like mates, which is what we all were, housemates.

Dont worry yourself, get to know her more, have a few nights out or go shopping together, once you know her and become all matey, then you won't have these feelings. if you keep getting jealous, trying to spoil their friendship then it will only end up in tears for yourself.

[Julia_Dorst]

Oh, hunny...

Well firsy of; good luck!

I know this, I've been in this situation a couple months back.

It's totally normal to be jealous in my opinion! Ofcourse you're jealous! He's more with her that with you, eventho he would probably like it reversed. I would just talk to the girl.

This is what I should've done. Just tell her you don't want her to make any moves on your boyfriend. Tell her honestly that you don't trust her around him. Explain that it just could be you being insecure or jealous. But that you would be very gratefull if she would leave him alone.

Also! Don't forget to tell your boyfriend about this, so he knows you're being mature about it and facing your problems and stuff. Also, he'll know, that if she now tries something, what a bitch it is! 'Cause you asked her politely to not try anything, and she still did it, what a bitch is she! and your guy is gonna see that too!:)

Good luck!

[jashel]

nope if you are jealous then your relationship is going to fail that isn't love ! just step your cookies up before they crumble

[Anonymous]

its fine for you to be jealous just don't show it to him... it makes him feel like he has power

[Anonymous]

I have had a female roommate before and it was great she had a GREAT "HEAD" on her shoulders!

[twinks]

Wow, reading that comment took away about 3 seconds of my life that I'll never get back.