Should I be concerned if my boyfriend is hanging out with a girl alone?

I trust my boyfriend but I couldn’t help but feel alarmed, I guess that would be the term, when he told me he was hanging out with a girl. He’s told me about her before and they’re just friends but he’s been hanging with her more often. He still spends a lot of his time with me but still.

I get... I don’t know jealous or worried.

I also dont don’t want to be that girl that doesn’t allow her boyfriend to have female friends 😅 lol that’s not okay.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Does he ever invite you to hang out with him and her?

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • MHO 👆 right now!

    • @Unit1 he has twice but I never made it happen myself

    • So then go for it and get to know his female friend. Be that awesome and confident girl, who is taken by him and isn't afraid to show up and will know his female friend.

Most Helpful Girl

  • to be honest i would feel jealous too, but i think it's not a big reason of fear as long as there is a trust established between you and your boyfriend.
    maybe you should meet her and see how they behave with each other, it might make you more relieved to see them as just friends hanging out

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What Guys Said 107

  • probably. if nothings happened yet it most likely will. how would he feel if you were hanging out with a guy alone? im sure he wouldn't like it. if its a friend he's had for a long time and theyre just real good friends, that may be different, just dont let em get drunk together. other than that i think its disrespectful to my girl to hang out with another girl alone. its hard to say what lies in the hearts of men. rarely will he speak the truth if his intentions are not honorable. one thing for sure. what doesn't come out in the wash will come out in the rinse. unfortunately for you, while you sit there alone trusting your man to do the right thing, he may not be. sadly, instead of breaking it off with you, and persuit her, he will cheat, be distant, you'll fight, he runs to her and you get your heart broke. i hope it doesn't go down like that. he has your trust. id kill for a girl who trusts me. theyre so screwed up around here. most the couples in this town cheat on each other. then get mad when they catch eachother. its so stupid. why be in a relationship if you cheat? i will never understand that. so these girls automatically assume their man is out cheating so they do the same. wrecks it for faithful guys. again, i really hope he does right by you, and doesn't hurt you. obviously he doesn't know what he has. but if he has sex with her and crawls back to you, make him suffer then kick him to the curb. thats what he will deserve for doing you wrong. especially if he's telling you nothings going on and it is. and one last thing, if you ask him about it and he overreacts, he's banging her. but if he reacts with love you may just be ok. good luck

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    • she's an old high school friend. he's also invited me to hangout with her but I don’t know if it makes a difference

  • Sure, be a bit suspicious, BUT, the way I suggest you approach it is to come with him a time or two. He may just need to take time to vent with a close female friend and make sense of some things. The opinions/advise of a close female friend is very valuble to a guy, ESPECIALLY concerning relationships. She may be giving him needed input on how to treat You right.
    Other way to look at it is he may feel that you are taking him for granted, so he's going to another source to feel appreciated. You can remedy this by making him feel valuble; let him know how much you want to spend time with him - make sure he knows when you miss him.

    You may be falling victim to a paradox of human nature; we get bored with the things and people that we have in our immediate control. He may be acting too dedicated to you that you may be unconsciously getting bored of him. He needs to become a novel thing for you again so that you can truly appreciate him better; we best appreciate the people that we think we're going to lose. Adding a spark of jealousy will later push your relationship to greater intimacy and better trust.

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  • Its probably just one of the few friends who are most likely like a sibling to him. There is a "love" but its not the romantic kind, instead its the kind where he would would be there through it all cause how much he cares. But you will always be the romantic interest no matter what.

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  • It’s shady if he spends most of his free time with her. Trust is GREAT when given to people who aren’t being shady. You need to think with your brain & not your heart here. Don’t look at what he says. Look at what he does.

    So investigate without having to just go by his words.

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  • Mist Likely nothing is happening I would honestly not worry about it unless there are warning signs that's he is telling you that she is a female friend and not lying is a sign of trust

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    • What would be warning sign?

    • Randomly dissipating with no contact hiding of phone cathing up one lies saying he was meant to be so were but is elsewhere

  • It's a natural reaction. This is a complicated situation with many variables. How well your relationship is going, his relationship with her, what kind of person he is, what kind of person she is, the intention of both. However men and women can be strictly platonic friends with no sexual intent even if there is interest. So it doesn't mean he's cheating on you, but that doesn't rule it out as a possibility either.

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  • well, i dunno, I've never been n that situation but if he has invited you then maybe she is just a good friend but all i can say is that, i wudnt be happy if my girl met a fella alone, id get jealous and ask and cause truble, lol.
    You shud meet up together, see how it goes.

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  • Well I think find a reason to hangout with her,
    1) You will get to know her... if She is a threat or not
    2) If She is then... you gota show her "that he belongs to you now" by hanging with them and trust me your b. f won't detect a thing about hidden tension. He would be total idiot like I behaved that day... and will find out about it very late.

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  • You need to understand a few things:
    1. If he wants to cheat, he could and you would never find out. It's not that hard.
    2. If he wants to cheat with her, he wouldn't be open about her
    3. A lot of guys find themselves a female friend after some time with a girlfriend just because. Some seek a new views, some advice and some like innocent flirting.

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    • Preach bro @OP
      What he said
      Sometimes guys need some female non gf/sexual relationship. Its normal and there's nthing wrong

  • Relationships are built on trust, and the trust should go both ways. You can't get the most out. if this unless you can truly say that your boyfriend would never betray you like that, it reflects poorly on the way you think of him in the end.

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  • If you truly trust your boyfriend it should matter or bother you at all, however if you have any doubts that he could possibly become involved and fuck this girl who is hanging out with more then i would be concerned for sure.

    Men usually start hanging out more often with a girl due to the fact they have a high level of interest in the girl and eventually are planning to fuck the girl in the near future...

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  • Maybe, more details. How long have you and he been together?
    How/why are they hanging out alone? What are they doing together? Do they work together or are they making specific plans just to hang out with each other. How often are they getting together?

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  • Why does he need to have any female friends? Most guys aren't going to be friends with a female unless he wants to sleep with her. Guaranteed one of them wants to have sex with the other. I'd be alarmed if I were you. They've probably already done stuff honestly, especially if he's hanging out with her more often. You have every right to be "that girl that doesn't allow her boyfriend to have female friends" because guys aren't ever "just friends" with a girl.

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    • well i dont know if they would have done stuff... that is assuming too much, especially since he was the one that told her about the friend. was honest. that is always a good sign.

    • just be careful and watch out for how much time he may spend with her. if he starts talking to her more than to you, then that is bad.

      by the way you may want to ask him a bit more about her and their friendship. just to ease your worries.

  • It isn't okay for a man in a relationship to be alone with another woman. I'm a guy, and this throws out all kinds of red flags.

    Guys can obviously have female friends, but this is super shady.

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  • Honestly the best thing is to keep an open dialog with him so he doesn't ever have to hide anything. You can't stop someone from cheating if they want to cheat.

    Honestly I think its just a friendship don't worry he's loyal

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  • It's how i lost my first girlfriend. I was terribly jealous. If you really trust him, tell him you trust him. And trust requires space, so he can do whatever he wants. But if he knows you trust him, and at any moment breaks that trust: forgive him, and then leave him for good. No second chance

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  • It's good that he told you about her, but he probably should only have done it after you met her and gave your blessing because it's completely natural to worry a bit when he's with a woman you don't know.

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  • Depends on the circumtance, if I was to give some advice... ask him about it (calmly) and talk through your concerns.
    It is rare to find a guy and a girl hanging out without at least some level of attraction. You gotta ask yourself is this gonna drive you mental and if so try and hang out with then both. He's honest enough to tell you so I don't see why you can't become friends with her. Maybe meeting her might put your mind at rest.

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  • Insecurity is part of most relationships. Think is best to establish by also getting to know the girl. Hang out together. In a way that will set the boundary for your boyfriend in another way. Its ok for in relationships to have the opposite sex as friends.

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  • It's a natural thing to not like the person you want or have to be alone with someone else but most of the time it'll only cause problems so if it's not very often and nothing seems odd and everything lines up no worries

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What Girls Said 45

  • ... My boyfriend...
    I don't see Why this Guy should be Hanging with another Here, dear, so Yes... Fear.
    ... Hanging with her more often. Too close for my own Comfort and Could lead to him Giving you the Boot. xx

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  • Hmm maybe if he’s 100% honest and open then you have nothing to fear, but if you’re getting a weird feeling, that means something is off. It could be that you don’t think he’s being open or I don't know maybe you could ask to hang out with both of them so you can feel better about the thing. He should be able to respect that.

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  • How would he feel if you were hanging out with another guy alone? If you are in a relationship and committed to each other, hanging out shouldn't be done "alone" just out of respect. If both of you were hanging out with the female "friend" that's okay.

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  • No, you shouldn't.
    It seems like he is very open with you, and you say that you trust him, so why be concerned?
    If you are concerned, tell him how you feel but be respectful. Don't immediately accuse or get defensive.
    You say you don't want to be the girl that doesn't let her boyfriend have female friends, but listening to these other commenters will make you do just that.

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  • WOW, so many jealous people on here (not refering to you, asker). I'd say it is normal! Imagine if he was bisexual. Could he then not hangout with anyone? Then men and women would be threat. I think they are friends, and he has invited you which shows he has nothing to hide :) I shouldn't worry about it

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  • It's okay to have friends from the opposite sex but my concern is that they hang out alone. When i hang out with a guy its never just us alone, we always hang out in groups of mixed guys and girls.
    You should hang out with your boyfriend and his female friend so you can see what they do and how they interact.
    Also if you really feel concern then have a calm talk with him about it

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  • Maybe get to know this girl. Hang out with them if he ever invites you or has he? To kind of get an idea what those two are like. Especially that girl. ! Honestly I wouldn’t feel comfortable about it at all. I know my boyfriend would feel the same way if I was hanging out alone with a guy.

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  • If you trust your boyfriend then there shouldn’t be an issue?
    My boyfriend had a female roommate for about a month and I didn’t give a shit.

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  • definitely don't try to stop him from having female friends, try and befriend her, I would say. See wheter you see any signs that she likes likes him. Just be friendly, this will show ur boyfriend that you re trying and most of all that you trust him. Have a movie evening, go to dinner or wtvr, feel out the situation.

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  • I would suggest that all three of you hang out sometimes. If he does not allow that, you may have an issue there.

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  • If he wants to hang out with her completely alone (and frequently) i. e. without a third person then there is cause for worry and I would talk to him about it. However, if they just hang out alone sometimes then I wouldn't care.

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  • She could just be going through a hard time right now and, he's a good friend. I wouldn't be to worried until, he starts lying and hiding, it from, you

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  • If he excludes you by never inviting you along then it's a cause for concern

    Everyone needs boundaries within a relationship. So as long as he has friendship boundaries with her and doesn't cross your boundaries , there's no need to be overly concerned

    A person's situation or circumstances doesn't determine if they'll cheat or not, their character does. So if being alone with her compromises his loyalty to you then his moral compass is questionable, so is his character. A person who has self-control over their desires and emotions will never allow opportunity to control their loyalty.

    Every needs freedom within a relationship , but two people need to take each other's feelings into considering. Infidelity is not always the issue, respecting your partners feelings and position is.

    If he knows how you feel, but yet still spends a lot of alone time with her, that clarifies your position in his life

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  • Ask if she wants to come over for dinner or something, see if he chills with her around you. Because there's no harm in you getting to know his friends either, and if that doesn't work tell him how you feel

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  • No, no need to worry. It is just a friendship and it would be to much to ask to stop seeing her. Keep it cool and maybe you can ask if you can hang with them together

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  • You could always ask him why he's been hanging out with her more. Be honest with him about your feelings, and don't hold contain them. If you do, you might become a very jealous person. Just, talk.

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  • I would be concerned and jealous and want him to stop hanging with that girl

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  • Depends on person. I have more male friends then female friend since I never had a good experience with woman in the past. I have a boyfriend he fine me hanging out with guy's.

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  • You should ask him to introduce you guys. It's weird if he hasn't. I used to not care if my ex talked to girls and that fucked me up so bad because he was so abusive and cheated on me and flirted with many girls. Now I'm insecure and am battling to get over it so I won't be so clingy in my next relationship. It really sucks.

    You can be cautious but don't over do it. Maybe ask for a double date with that friend girl of his?

    I don't really trust guys or girls these days. Most of everyone nowadays are being carwreckers and homewreckers

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  • I would be concerned. Specially is that girl doesn't allow her boyfriend to be with another girl by himself. Why should she be allowed to be alone with your boyfriend?

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