Insecure women, who create Unnecessary Drama - OVER ANALYZING SITUATIONS? WHY?

Question

I noticed that us girls get from one second to another super insecure without having a particular reason, hence only in cases where the GUY is super serious about the relationship, I've been like that too until i understood that i am always being paranoid without any reason, i was CONVINCED that my man was seeing other women, until one day i was fed up and i took his phone and locked myself in the bathroom and GUESS WHAT I FOUND... NOTHING !!! Texts between him the group of soccer friends, his uncles, his mom, his male friends, not even ONE GIRL, then I've seen girls saying HE TEXTED ME BACK AFTER 5 HOURS... (while in fact he was just taking a nap), but whose fault is it that we tend to dramatize things this way? Sometimes we tend to drive our men crazy and i think we should try and stop it... So why are girls so insecure while our man are trustworthy and amazing?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

wall of text for your viewing pleasure:
I dont do this because I had relationships where the guy exhibited the same traits (not exclusive to one gender)... It is awful, I like my space..
I like when someone is secure with themselves and trusts me. I could never do this to someone unless he honestly had history of being a player. I would never ever be with someone who can't be direct anyway, even if he's nagging or doesn't like something, I welcome all of it- "your cooking is shit, what the hell are you wearing, your friend is hot" its all good! Id prefer that than a perpetual, never-ending guessing game of what is he thinking! what is he feeling! what is he doing!! Oh no!

Communication on both sides, and healthy communication. No one will be honest with you if you hyper dissect everything and anything. Men can be as controlling, paranoid and dramatic as women, trust me.

Admittedly, I am suspicious in the begging, cautious really. We're just getting to know each other so trust isn't going to come easy but relationships work when there's no bs and free flow of communication. Its almost overshare.
I used to find all the games exciting or omg, am I undesirable? Because he was gaming me! Eventually I realize I was dating fucktards and quickly narrowed down a small few who did not do this shit and never looked back. A lot of guys hate games thankfully and will straight up talk to me about anything, big or small so I never have to get paranoid. We also have a loose idea of love and commitment- we're not sold on some fairytale and that definitely helps.

SabinaV · Accepted Answer

My Personal thoughts would be ' Fear of the Unknown left by someone we truly care about '

We women may tend to feel this way not because we are over emotional, but because somewhere we fear of the capability at how things might not turn out the way we want them to.

This causes us to be in our ' defence mechanism ' trying to get ahead to avoid the possibility of it to even happen, to avoid it from happening.

Which is also an indication we truly care for something we have but ofcourse being too paranoid should also be lessen.

We should talk about this with our partner. Regardless if we are comfortable to do so or not, a healthy relationship needs openness of talks and exchanges in opinions, give time to speak to your partner about things that you want to share inorder to avoid feeling vulnerable.

Once this is done if everything has been said try to understand even if you may feel afraid, it helps.

Always remember a guy who stays truly loves a woman. If a guy changes just to cheat it just means he was not totally serious with committing in the relationship itself. Or it could be from constant pestering which men also get enough of.

Remember sit and talk any fear you hold or anything with your partner, he will understand

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Women are analyst by nature and it's how we are designed. With all of this craziness going on between men and women you can't help but be on the defensive. What you may percieve as guys being more trustworthy is just them not concerning themselves about it, because, well. It's not how they function. What you decribed with yourself is not insecurity but trust issues. And it may not all the time have to do with your past, but the people around you. A lot will blame it on Movies and Tv shows, but sadly there is some truth in television that people often enact in real life even without that influence. And we all influence each other through experiences and expectations. I always say that if you don't trust that person's intentions and motives don't date them or continue. Because it could be that your right or your wrong. But it's also a mixture of everything on the results. It depends on her reasons and why she is like this.

NeighbouringGoat · Accepted Answer

Many women expect men to automatically know what's wrong, so they don't say anything. Let's face it, men aren't mind readers, and we should expect them to be. As a result, the woman gets angry that her boyfriend is not "behind understanding" (reading her mind) and negative feelings accumulate. Lack of communication would be the main key. Afterwards, they tell their friends, who start gossiping, and then everyone knows, except for the male. Not a very good domino effect.

martyfellow · Accepted Answer

1. Women don't communicate their feelings to their s. o. and so they don't know how their partner feels about them.. or about other women, who after all are usually around.. They are afraid they'll be dismissed as paranoid if they voice their worries about the guy being unfaithful.

So they invent whole stories in their heads, sometimes. they don't have face to base their opinion on, so they get insecure and make up a scenario in their heads, often with the connivance of their female friends.

2. And of course, some women HAVE been cheated on, and they will find it difficult to trust a guy again. They'll always be checking his messages!

pavlove · Accepted Answer

some women are immature and don't respect boundaries and/or have trust issues. so do a lot of men

Chanel1981 · Answer

I have been guilty of this in the past to a fault! I think part of the problem is putting too much value and worth on the relationship working. At the end of the day whether any certain relationship works or not does not make up our identities. My advice is to take a step back and don't worry too much, you'll drive yourself batty (and maybe him) for no reason! Best of luck to you

lils_ · Answer

Its natural when we really like something or someone we usually become more possessive and insecure. and like in my case I imagine the worst case possible scenario and get myself prepared for everything which is not a very good habit and m trying my best to control it.. its a lot better than it was.

annie2016 · Answer

I think it about communication and transparency. If both of you knows very well about each other and transparent then the relationship will be smoother. Sometimes guys tend to be secretive and that is the worst situation were women would have the idea that they have other woman in their life. Unless they talked about it and have the assurance and re assure then everything would be okay

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

It might have to do with their past relationships. Maybe they trusted their last boyfriend's only to discover they were being lied and cheated on.. now it harder than ever for them to trust.. especially men. There are men who spear up and down your the only woman, but only way to figure that out is by snooping and guess what.. they weren't the only woman. If men were jus honest upfront.. women wouldn't have these insecurities.. they also wouldn't have to snoop for the truth either.

HarambeIsMyBro1 · Answer

I used to be the same way until just a few months ago. I would constantly find myself going through her phone every night when she fell asleep. Only to find nothing. But I kept doing it every night regardless. I officially stopped doing that. Im still insecure of myself deep down. but I was worrying for nothing. My girl isn't going anywhere. And you are worrying for nothing to. Your man isn't leaving your side. I can tell you are an attractive girl. Your man will not leave you

Anonymous · Answer

I was abused by a sociopath and I stayed for a while. He played a lot of very fd up head games, cheated and enjoyed making me suspicious and feel hurt as a game. He woukd shove the cheating in my face and tell me i wadnt enough for him and say really mean things. Being with a sociopath really destroys self confidence and self worth. So I always feel worthless and inadequate and I am very used to men playing elaborate head games to hurt me. So i assume it will happen more.

JohnDoe3000 · Answer

I think women project their own pov unto men: women can get laid whenever they want to and get oogled/hit on all the time so they think it's the same for men, women also plot more than men, but they think men do it just as much (overthinking).

Cherry_Berry · Answer

well... sometimes, (in many cases actually) the paranoia is justified...
My ex started dating simultaneously another girl during the last few weeks without me noticing anything... everything was fine.

People learn from past experiences I guess

Tenellex · Answer

If a female is insecure maybe she should work on those issues before trying to be in a relationship. Why take the man through hell because you're unhappy with yourself? As a female I don't understand females and I've realized this is one of many reasons why I don't like females.

Glen68 · Answer

I think it's just how it is. I've learned to except the craziness that comes with being with a woman

Anonymous · Answer

Coz he's way too sexual and even tho he swears he loves me and is with me 24/7 he still flirts with girls

Anonymous · Answer

I think women need a certain amount of drama in their life to even be able to function. SOoooo if there's none there... they create it in their minds. @_@

Tt-rnbsn · Answer

I think because when we also love them a lot, we're scared to get hurt and find or when we don't expect it. Especially if we have been there at 1 point.

4465loveyou5577 · Answer

BPD and OCD are more common in girls.

ACrazyHaggis · Answer

cause they crazy !!! :P

Anonymous · Answer

Because... feelings and anti depressants

Insecure women, who create Unnecessary Drama - OVER ANALYZING SITUATIONS? WHY?

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