Did he use me for sex?

Question

He was here for the military. I met him on Saturday night. Saturday night he seemed really into me kept looking at me and was calling me later that night begging to come over and see me and I told him no because I was going to sleep, but he was begging for me to give him my address just to see me and sweet talking me telling me that the look when we first made eye contact was something special.

Sunday after work he was waiting outside my work and wanted to hang out, we hung out on his base and we ended up kissing and he was being really sweet holding me and looking up at the stars

Monday I drove out there and hung out from 2-6 in the morning when he had to be up at 8 and he was calling me his baby.

Tuesday we went for smoothies when I later found out that he wanted to be with his friends, but he kept calling me his future wife to his friends and cousins, then we hooked up (bad idea on my part) but he asked me like 5 times if everything was ok and cuddled with me afterwords until about 3 when he had to be up at 6.

Wednesday he came and visited me at work and was late getting back so he was supposed to go home thursday morning but had to stay another night. He waited for me to get off work and when I got there he was so tired since he got no sleep the past couple days but stayed up until 3 in the morning again for me but we hooked up again.

Thursday we hung out again and hooked up and of course was falling asleep but he stayed up for me. I cried when I left and he said it wasn't goodbye because we woud see each other again soon but didn't seem as upset as I did. Also this night he was kinda telling me what to do and wasn't really giving a sh*t.

Now he's home I haven't even heard from him at all and he's giving me one word answers. Did he just want sex from me? Did he use me? Or is he just busy because he's home? why did he go from sweet talking to nothing? I'm scared I made a HUGE mistake.

airiver · Accepted Answer

I fail to see where you made a "Huge" mistake...?  I too would feel a bit uncomfortable with this behavior but what did you really do?  You slept with someone and learned something pretty important if you choose to see it...(I'm saying what's the big deal?)  If he continues to barely converse with you then it's likely you two just had a nice few days together BUT you learned to always be cautious when a guy over-flatters so quickly, "my future wife, my new girl".  That, to me, is always a sign that you are hanging with a player...Also you learned that it's never a good idea to be there at someones beck and call...But sure, it could be he's busy being a soldier and catching up on his sleep or you two just had a fun time...It's 50/50 but if I were you I'd get my head out of it, quit obsessing, yes you are, and get on with your life.  Go hang with your friends, etc.  You already, in your head, have an idea of which direction it will likely go.  But you sure didn't do anything wrong, unless you didn't use protection :-)  Girls need to relax and stop looking at each encounter as "THE ONE" and just have fun, relax and see what happens...And maybe you were just using him?  Best to you.  Cheers!

Louise123 · Accepted Answer

Yes, you were used (IF you slept together) . Honey, learn to respect yourself. This guy was on leave - a military man who was enjoying  a sweet, willing, young girl.  He told you sweet things that he MAY have meant in the moment. . You had no time to get to know this guy - let alone for him to be calling you his future wife?  What's that about? ... Just learn from this - let the guy go - you didn't do anything you didn't want to do. Don't blame him for  maybe taking advantage. You could have said... " Hey, you're a great guy but I don't know you and I'm not into short term flings but would be happy to hang out with you."  I assume you slept with him...? If you didn't - no harm done. You just made a whole lot out of nothing - your expectations were really too high for a guy who knew he wouldn't be around very long.  Put this experience behind you and spend time with guys who actually LIVE in the same area as you?  He doesn't want to see you anymore. Let him go.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hmmm...did he use you for sex or did you just play yourself? Sorry hun but you should know by now that guys are about getting the draws from a girl and will say/do almost anything to get it! It's not even like the guy really used you, you met him SATURDAY for Gosh's sakes. You don't even know him like that and you already let him f***, no offense but what did you expect? I'm sorry to come across cruel but you have got to wait and get to know a guy and wait before you sleep with him all early...men lose interest when they get it that quickly. and besides if you sleep with a guy so quickly, you're pretty much risking everything on the (hope) that he's not just after sex.

DanielSan · Accepted Answer

yes you made a mistake.

but I'm also tired of hearing the "I got used line" just like someone else said/. He didn't drug you...seduction is a game he played it right and you fell for him and he won. You enjoyed the sex as much as he did your just p*ssy you didn't win the game and that you don't have him anymore.,

I am sorry things didn't work out for you but military guys are rarely into comitting to girls its part of their work they don't have time for commitment and they move around a lot and they just want to f*** mostly.

hey at least he was kind polite and gentle with you for the week...instead of looking at it bad ;look at it as a fun fling.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Aww, you poor poor thing. I can't believe someone would do something so horrible to you like have sex with you. You must be so upset. You should've just explained to him that you're not into women with penises.

Honestly, I don't blame him; I blame you.

This would have never happened if you were sexually honest with him. The reason he "played you" is because you weren't sexually honest with him.

If the two of you would have had sex earlier, this never would have happened. But since that wasn't the case, he just did what he had to do to get what he wanted. He figured; she's being dishonest with me, no reason for me to be honest with her.

katiesmuff · Answer

Lets look at this in perspective! We have a horny soldier who has just found a chick who sort of likes him so he figures lets get some pu**y before leaving. So now he has himself in a position to get his penis sucked and f**ked 3 o4 times before leaving. I'd have to say he used you like a pro! Sorry about that, but it is so very common.

I often ask myself if I am the way I am because of things like this happening. I will not allow myself to get serious with any man. I date, have fun, lots of sex, but never ever do I get into the relationship exclusive mode. I have a live in and the both of us do others.

Confused_Me · Answer

Firstly, you should'nt be going so far with a guy, u've known some days. .saying that he would remember you after that is wrong. A guy would'nt seriously like you just because ur giving him yourself. He would still like you if ur not giving at all. I think he is just hinting you that that was it, if he liked you that much, then he would have called you or texted you in a better way when he was back and before he was leaving, you were the one who was upset and you say he was'nt that upset.

We make mistake, and learn from our mistakes. Guy got what he really wanted!

But if you really wanna know the answer from him so call him and ask him. . it's better to know it now than thinking about it all the time!

Best of luck!

Lockjawx27 · Answer

yea...been there. A guy's sex drive will make him do crazy stuff, like stay up so late over and over that you are always tired...its like a drug really.

Look he probably just needed you for sex. He would treat you better otherwise. But why does it have to be such a big deal? Was it on camera? Just move on. Your not injured and your life is fine. Just pick them better next time

I already know where you went wrong. In the beginning when you first met him, he seemed anxious and eager. That's already a bad sign. He was calling you over and over even though you wanted to go to sleep...a guy that wanted a relationship would respect your privacy. This guy was horny as hell from the start, dear

again, you need to learn to pick them better. look for a more easy going guy that isn't too invasive

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, he used you. Never, ever believe a guy who comes on this strong so quickly. We are fed this line of crap in romance novels and movies, but this guy did not know you from Jack, or Jill in this case. Guys who will be there for the long haul don't jump in like this, they take their time to make sure who you are before they start declaring their deep feelings, or in his case, his shallow meaningless feelings. Sorry you had to learn this lesson the hardest way. He is a player.

Oh, and never give a guy sex because you think it will make you closer. It will make YOU feel closer to him but it doesn't work that way on guys. Once you are in a relationship with someone who truly loves you, then sex is a way of connecting with your man. Until you are in a relationship you will have no idea if he's feeding you a line or really having feelings for you.

babycakes01 · Answer

Personally, I don't think his initial intention was to just use you for sex. I think with him, as like with many military men, due to the fact that women are scarce to come by while on base, when they find one they're very eager to spend time with them. The opposite sex is a great thing. It's just like if you were to spend time in a house full of females 24/7, you'd probably jump on the first guy you saw (i.e. Bad Girls Club). Maybe from the entire sexual experience he possibly didn't know what you wanted from this. It's not uncommon to have a emotionally disconnect after "hooking up," this is common for many men. Just remember that no events are mistakes, just lessons to learn from. I'd say, just give him time and if he doesn't come back he simply wasn't meant to be in your life.

anonymousdude2 · Answer

Your mistake was not finding out the romantic intention. Guys do crazy things for sex and to keep the sex going.

You didn't find out who he way, what his dating habits are, if he has a relationship already, talk about any future AT ALL.

So the mistake was assuming he wants something long term when really you had no evidence to indicate anything except that you guys had sex and he was nice about it.

superman41569 · Answer

im sorry but I think so I'm in the military an there are a lot  more guys here thinking only of them self  an only want to have sex you wouldn't believe what would happen if you were a tiny bit slutty're  if he was serious he wouldn't want it to move so fast he would've took his time

candlewax · Answer

Military + fooling around + no contact = it was just sex and you were his hook up. Happens all the time. Those guys come back home for a short leave from service, screw around and then leave. The end. Sucky :(

caveman8 · Answer

Did he promise to marry you? No. Therefore he didn't use you. The fact that you had expectations which didn't materialize is your problem.

msbossy · Answer

ok baby so mabe he did but don't be mad at your self and just make sure you learn from this mistake. don't hold this against any othrt guy you talk to but just be more careful.

FrustratedWhiteKnigh · Answer

Yes, he used you.  Men use sweet talk for sex because it works with most women.  Showing up as much as he did and always wanting your address shows he's a bit psycho.

mrbijendernegi · Answer

yes it is obvious that you did a really big mistake to trust on somebody because in this world almost all people are selfish and they want to make their work with somehow. For this they make a good taking ,action,attitude.but all these are fake .

And it is sad to talk that he used you and now when they had got what he want , he will not come to u.

BUT FORGET WHAT You DID . MANY PEOPLE DO THIS BAD THING . BUT FOR THE NEXT TIME ALWALYS REMEMBER THIS RULE (D.T.A) DON'T TRUST ANYBODY

woods-man39 · Answer

im sorry but I think he used you... there are a lot of guys out there that are plain jerks, and view the woman body as nothing but a life support system for a vagina

Littletad · Answer

Sorry, he used you. I work at a military base, I know how many of them are. Sorry.

TheManHimself · Answer

The using girls for sex is bush*t. Don't you girls like sex too? Girls make it sound like it is something they don't want to do.

Patience4realluv · Answer

DAMN! Yeah he used u SMDH like a 1night stand @ first mayb he moved on or...was never interested and you besides the sex

sumina7 · Answer

He should not have referred to you as his future wife so soon. That was a red flag.

martyfellow · Answer

Yes, without much doubt he does this wherever he's posted.   Say goodbye to him!

obligations · Answer

Well yes of course.  If he was local it might had been a diff story.

akahcam · Answer

Yup! you made a mistake! sorry for that! do not blame yourself, just make sure you won't fall again!

Did he use me for sex?

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