Can you fall in love with someone you haven't met in person?
Dam this is such a long story...
So couple of months ago I met this girl online then went to talking hours on the phone and live chat. We talked about everything and she a had adapted strong feelings for me as I have too.
She has gone through a lot in the past with previous boyfriends and just seems like that has made bad decisions that's all. She told me she deeply loves me which it took only about 4-5weeks and told her I love her too. We have never met since we technically hooked up on the phone on that day.
Its been 9 months now and a lot has gone through in our relationship. The reason why I have waited so long because she wasn't ready for a relationship plus she had always pushed me away cause of not wanting to get hurt again. I have always tried to meeting her one day and show her that she is special and valuable of a women to care and loved by me,[not forcing her at all]but she just keeps lieing to me and coming up with excuses, such as she ain't ready yet and still having mix feelings in which I keep forgiving her again and again and again. No matter what happened I have always been there for her when she was down or someone to talk to...Obviously I wanted to prove to her that I am the man that is willing to be here for her.
Now it hit me that,I have waited so long to realize what I have sacrifice for this girl that I thought I loved was worthless as she continues to push me away. We just recently broke up but she still claims that she loves me. I know that I have not fallen in love with her because obviously our relationship was not real and I have no memories or met her since we met online 9 months ago. How can you love someone if you haven't met that person? Or actually shared any type of contact to spending some personal and quality time together as a couple?
I wish things were different but life's hard. I just wish she gave me the chance to show her the love and respect I had always had for her. But unfortunately now its over...I want to move on but I guess there's that part of me that wants to be with her and give her another chance? And the other part that wants to seek someone else that will love me for who I am?Please in need of HELP!
Love is a BIG word so all comment's much appreciated.
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
I see this question is a few months old. but I would like to add in my two cents. I have been dating a guy online(long-distance too, 2,500 miles apart and in seperate countries!) for almost a year now. It is possible to love someone over the internet. I'm doing it right now, but there are exceptions. We use the webcam chat for at least seven hours a day(usually 10+), and usually text each other when we're not on webcam. We've met twice so far, and our third meeting will be just before our first year anniversary. Basically, we live in eachother's bedrooms, and cherish every moment we have in person. Our parents have met and get along great, and we've spent a lot of time just relaxing with eachother; watching movies together, being a couple just differently. The lack of touch hurts us both greatly, but we know theat the relationship we've built is strong, and that if we work together not only on our connection and making it through this time apart, we'll be able to tackle anything.
I think the internet is a good way to get to know someone over time, because you spend more time talking and listening rather than making out and snuggling(though we've done quite a bit of that too.) It helps you appreciate the person more when you get to know them first, and then when you get to hold hands with them, and hug them, and be an non-computer couple(not non-real couple, because it is real whether some people believe it or not) the feeling is amazing.
But anyways, I'm having a similar issue as she did, whenever I feel scared or depressed I push him away not only in an attempt to protect myself, but to protect him because I don't want to hurt him by showing how sad or frightened of what's happening. If you want to get back with her, I would say ease up on the pressure(even though you're not forcing her) and just say that when she's ready you can meet and leave it at that. She'll bring it up when she is ready, but if you think it's taking to long, she may not be worth sticking around for. Don't waste your time if you believe the relationship is going no where, but explain your feelings to her as well. Tell her you're ready to meet her and that as much as you want to support her and wait until she's ready to meet, you also feel like you're left hanging in limbo.
What Girls Said 8
First things first. The reason she doesn't want to meet in person: disappointment or more the fear of it. She may think you will be in her or visa versa. Web cams, pics and phone doesn't do the trick, it's like talking to your mom on the phone or looking at a pic, it's just not the same as seeing her in person. She is afraid.
Second I don't beleve that it's true love because like I said over computer, phone ect isn't the same as in person, you can't make memories (real ones) and you can't shair experiences , it isn't real. I come from experience. If you can't touch (not dirty) you can't love. I'm sorry. You can meet people online and be friends but not like that.
This happened to me...I'm in a relationship pretty much like yours; and I understand how you feel but specially...how she feels 'cause I think I'm feeling the same way now. In this kind of relationships girls are always afraid of getting hurt 'cause we never really now what guys do when they're not online since they could easily be seeing other girls and lying to us. But I see you have strong feelings for her, though I honestly don't think you do love her. I don't think that's love...love is a big word just as you said and it's built in many different ways...and in a long distance relationship is difficult to fulfill each other up to the point when you can actually call it love.
I think she loves you...but she doesn't want to get hurt again, not because she thinks you're cheating on her or anything, but 'cause in a relationship like this there is always a big risk of breaking up, of not knowing about each other, things in a relationship like this are weak...and feelings can easily be broken since all you only have words to show them. (I'm not talking about sex). So my point is...she loves you but she doesn't want to go on with the relationship 'cause if she takes it too serious and something happens and you break up after a long time of relationship...she will have this bad taste on her mouth...like she loved you but could never really show you or see you or anything...which is more painful than the break-up itself. I hope you got my what I mean :)
Let her go. I made the mistake of thinking something was real when I started a relationship from long distance. We had met and been together briefly before, but essentially I did not know him. It turned out he had another girlfriend and, long story short, I had a baby with him after meeting him again and then found out there had always been another girl in the picture. Long distance love equals party of four and if you didn't get that memo then you risk (like I did) being party of three and you're the odd man out. Your connection changes so much in person, when you're typing or just talking, never feeling the vibration of that other person, you can't possibly feel the same, true vibrations from her. Relationships are meant to be felt through the skin. Not through Rogers, Fido or Skype.
Yes, you can love someone you have never met. My boyfriend and I were together for a year and a month from online dating before we actually met, and we only started being together when we said "I love you" to each other.
So, it is possible to love someone you've never met.
As for the breakup... The girl probably needed more time to feel comfortable with meeting you, and you pressuring her didn't help :/
If you want her back, tell her. But only if you still love her.
She didn't want to meet you right away either because she's still hurt by her past bf's, or she wanted more chance to get to know you before meeting you...because you know how meeting online friends can be dangerous.
If you get back together, give her more time. It is possible to love someone from a distance, and you've got to be happy with that distance until she wants to meet.
it is possible because there is online communication and technology however the key is what is real and what is not real. It will take time to get to know someone and the second factor is if it is feasible to make it work. if it isn't feasible, it likely is just another quip that technology has caused and that is, long distance people being able to see each other, talk to each other etc. but a relationship might form and it might not form.
I've fallen in love online twice, actually met the guys and had serious relationships with them. I think it's definitely possible.
The problem here, however, is not the fact that this is taking place online but the fact that she keeps pushing you away. Whether someone does that "in real life" or on the internet doesn't matter, either way it's impossible to have a relationship with them. I think you should give her one last chance. Tell her exactly what you've told us or give her the link to this page. Tell her you want to meet up with her, but if she's not willing, you think the relationship has no chance of surviving. An online relationship isn't a relationship. Give her the choice.
In my opinion, I don't think its possible to fall in love with someone you have never met. I think that it's loving the idea of that person instead of loving the actual person. You may like their thoughts/views on various subjects and like the online person you've met, but what if the person turns out to be, well, not as attractive physically when you first meet them. Can you overlook that fact and love them the same way as you did before you met? I know everyone says that inner beauty is more important, but most people value beauty in a potential partner to some extent. Also, when you meet a person face-to-face, you may discover many things about them that you hadn't anticipated. Like, they may have some kind of annoying habit or quality about them that you never noticed over the internet.
What Guys Said 2
im sort of in the same page, just that is a guy but still giving me excuses such as I'm a home person, and I'm busy, this & that but it never get to the point, like yesterday he said he was going to meet me for my lunch and I'm almost leaving work and still haven't received a call. I'm not mad at the fact he hasn't call, I'm actually mad at the fact that I have waited for almost a month and nothing, just catching feeling and listening to excuses after excuses. and I refuse to think I'm played for a fool.