Is it possible to love someone but not be ready for a relationship with her?

[girlinthewings]

I'm wondering if it is possible to love someone but for that person to not be ready for a relationship. would they then try and "keep you handy" until they are for fear of losing you?

[thelittlethings]

It is possible. You can be so in love with someone but there are a lot of reasons why you couldn't make it work right now and you would probably just mess it up. Wouldn't it be better to get all of you stuff straightened out so that you could make the relationship work? Wouldn't it be better to wait a few months so that there is a better outcome? And yes, some people will keep the one they love around until they are ready. To me it seems like you consider this a bad thing but I think if it is a mutual feeling and both people are willing to wait I don't see the problem. However if you are keeping them around just to see if you truly love them, while leading them on telling them you already do, that is very wrong.

I have been in this situation before where I loved someone but I was at a hard time in my life and whenever he would get too close I would push him away and it caused him to be hurt and me to be scared and both of us were getting mad and frustrated. I finally told him I needed some time, just a couple of months, to get things straightened out and then we could work on it. I wasn't interested in anyone else, I never dated anyone else and I told him he could do whatever he wanted while I got my shit together. He didn't want to though and he was willing to wait. It worked out for the best and now I am able to put my full effort into the relationship without pushing him away.

[bubblyblonde]

No I do not think the "keep them handy until your ready or not" is right, that is just sh!t. Would you really wait just to find out if the do or don't. What happens if in a year they p!ss on your dreams, you've just wasted a year of your life. Plenty more fish in the sea, get out and about, look, date and if when he is ready, you are free fair enough if not his loss.

[irish-girl-08]

i don't think or believe anyone in love with someone wouldn't want to be in a realtionship with them I think they'd jum atthe chance to be in a realtionship with the person they love

[Atomizer]

Yes, I think it's possible to love someone but not be ready for a relationship.

But I think it's more likely to be interested in someone, but to try stringing them along as a backup plan.

[Mystique01]

Hmm, interesting!

So, I'm just curious... If a guy is "interested" in a girl, why would he want to just string her along as a back-up plan? Why wouldn't he want to go ahead and try to date her? Is it because he's MORE interested in other girls? Or, he feels the girl he's intereste in wants a more serious relationship than he's ready for at the moment?

I'm just wondering, because I figure that if a guy is "interested" in a girl, that he would just want to date her. NOT string her along

[Atomizer]

In my experience, "I like you but I'm not ready for a relationship now" actually means, "I like you, but I like someone else more."

The only reason anyone needs a backup plan is if the current plan fails. And the current plan is usually "trying to work out problems with my boyfriend [or girlfriend]."