I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 21/2 years. We love each other a lot and hope to marry within the next couple of years. Since the beginning of our relationship meetings with his friends and us as a couple haven't gone well.
He has a large circle of friends and associates, a couple of his friends are from grade school the rest are all from college. There is a mix of men and women a few married couples and the rest single. The four guys that he is closest to are all single. I can be shy at times but it was important to me to try and get to know his friends so I tried to make an extra effort to get to know them. They typically use a lot of inside jokes, sarcasm, and a remember when stories. The first hour of it is funny but by hour five I'm ready to stab my eyes out. I pretty much don't have anything in common with them besides my boyfriend. I am my boyfriend's first real relationship so I do think this contributes to some of the behavior.
Some examples of the rudeness: only talking to each other, ignoring me, not saying hello, one friend was talking on the phone and referred to me as my boyfriends new "interest", I went to say hi to one girl and she hugged back but then loudly said why am I hugging you I don't know you, I had to leave a game night early to study and one of the husbands said why do I have to leave early it's not like I have to go work in the morning.( I'm currently unemployed and I'm in grad school.) I went to a birthday dinner and one of his frat brothers basically drilled me about my career goals which was really awkward with 7 other people at the table that I don't know and everyone is staring at me. I did speak to my boyfriend about speaking up and defending me and I to tried to defend myself.
Moving forward I try to do things with people in smaller numbers because all 10-15 of them is just too much to handle at once. Looking toward the future I dread thinking about having any of them permanently in my life but I love my honey. My family and friends love him his family loves me. How do I get past this?
He has a large circle of friends and associates, a couple of his friends are from grade school the rest are all from college. There is a mix of men and women a few married couples and the rest single. The four guys that he is closest to are all single. I can be shy at times but it was important to me to try and get to know his friends so I tried to make an extra effort to get to know them. They typically use a lot of inside jokes, sarcasm, and a remember when stories. The first hour of it is funny but by hour five I'm ready to stab my eyes out. I pretty much don't have anything in common with them besides my boyfriend. I am my boyfriend's first real relationship so I do think this contributes to some of the behavior.
Some examples of the rudeness: only talking to each other, ignoring me, not saying hello, one friend was talking on the phone and referred to me as my boyfriends new "interest", I went to say hi to one girl and she hugged back but then loudly said why am I hugging you I don't know you, I had to leave a game night early to study and one of the husbands said why do I have to leave early it's not like I have to go work in the morning.( I'm currently unemployed and I'm in grad school.) I went to a birthday dinner and one of his frat brothers basically drilled me about my career goals which was really awkward with 7 other people at the table that I don't know and everyone is staring at me. I did speak to my boyfriend about speaking up and defending me and I to tried to defend myself.
Moving forward I try to do things with people in smaller numbers because all 10-15 of them is just too much to handle at once. Looking toward the future I dread thinking about having any of them permanently in my life but I love my honey. My family and friends love him his family loves me. How do I get past this?
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