Before I begin, I just wanted to say that I was influenced to write this piece by reading another one on this site titled You Can't Fake Confidence, written by Cool-Relax. Thanks for the inspiration!
First, a little background.
I just turned 25 years old this week, and am looking forward to having a great year, personally and professionally. I have several goals in both of those life areas that I want to achieve, and I'm not afraid to get the ball rolling and do what I have to do. And a large part of the driving force behind that motivation is confidence. It's a word used very often on this website, and rightly so, because personal confidence can improve your life dramatically. My story is proof of that.
When I was a kid, I was smart, polite, and painfully shy. Though I loved to read and play youth sports competitively, I didn't have the courage to approach girls that I had a crush on and talk to them (if I could get out a "hello", I was lucky). This shyness remained with me through both junior high and high school, and eventually it bothered me that my self-consciousness had overtaken my resolve to that degree.
For example, I was the editor of my high school paper in my senior year, and the school district's camera crew wanted to interview me for the article we had done on 9/11. I was so nervous in front of the camera that they shot about 30 takes, editing them all together for my 6 seconds of local TV fame when the story aired - it was pretty embarrassing! My high school was a very cliquish place, and seeing as I didn't really belong to any major group, I flew well under the social radar compared to many of my classmates. After high school graduation with me glad to escape, I proceeded to college.
College is where the turn-around began to happen for me. I was among a more diverse group of people who accepted me as I was without judgment, which was very key. I established friendships that will probably be lifelong, with people that I respect and care about greatly. I continued to achieve academically and made Dean's List on several occasions.
Even better was the fact that all these events slowly built my confidence, to the point where I could interact socially without fear or anxiety, at least 90% of the time - the other 10% that was still challenging was talking to girls. I still felt unnoticed by the opposite sex at times, but it hit me one day before my senior year of college that a part of the blame for that lay squarely at my doorstep. I realized with damning irony that I was enrolled as a communications major, and yet I was failing at doing that very thing with the womenfolk - talk about an epiphany!
I returned for my senior year determined to change my romantic fortunes, and eventually I did, beginning my first serious relationship a month before graduation. Though it didn't work out, at least I was building my dating resume and gaining valuable life experience. I have dated a few girls in the 2 1/2 years since I graduated, but no lasting success there just yet. Occasionally, it can still be challenging to talk to girls I've never met before out in public.
Ironically enough, one of my hobbies is karaoke. I have zero fear whatsoever performing in front of several hundred people in a packed bar or restaurant, yet talking to just one of those women can still be nerve-racking! A total contradiction I know, but my friends have always told me that I never quite made sense. 8-)
However, my confidence and belief in myself is the port that weathers me through the storm - and was the key piece of the puzzle missing for the first 20 or so years of my life. I have yet to find the right girl for me, but I am sure she is out there somewhere. I know what I want, and my experience over the last few years was crucial to getting me where I am today.
If you are struggling to find your confidence, ask yourself these questions:
Confidence is not something that happens overnight - it takes genuine self-reflection, effort, positive reinforcement, and time. But when it happens, believe me when I tell you, the results can be amazing.
>N<<
First, a little background.
I just turned 25 years old this week, and am looking forward to having a great year, personally and professionally. I have several goals in both of those life areas that I want to achieve, and I'm not afraid to get the ball rolling and do what I have to do. And a large part of the driving force behind that motivation is confidence. It's a word used very often on this website, and rightly so, because personal confidence can improve your life dramatically. My story is proof of that.
When I was a kid, I was smart, polite, and painfully shy. Though I loved to read and play youth sports competitively, I didn't have the courage to approach girls that I had a crush on and talk to them (if I could get out a "hello", I was lucky). This shyness remained with me through both junior high and high school, and eventually it bothered me that my self-consciousness had overtaken my resolve to that degree.
"I was enrolled as a communications major, yet I was failing at doing that very thing with the womenfolk - talk about an epiphany!"
For example, I was the editor of my high school paper in my senior year, and the school district's camera crew wanted to interview me for the article we had done on 9/11. I was so nervous in front of the camera that they shot about 30 takes, editing them all together for my 6 seconds of local TV fame when the story aired - it was pretty embarrassing! My high school was a very cliquish place, and seeing as I didn't really belong to any major group, I flew well under the social radar compared to many of my classmates. After high school graduation with me glad to escape, I proceeded to college.
College is where the turn-around began to happen for me. I was among a more diverse group of people who accepted me as I was without judgment, which was very key. I established friendships that will probably be lifelong, with people that I respect and care about greatly. I continued to achieve academically and made Dean's List on several occasions.
Even better was the fact that all these events slowly built my confidence, to the point where I could interact socially without fear or anxiety, at least 90% of the time - the other 10% that was still challenging was talking to girls. I still felt unnoticed by the opposite sex at times, but it hit me one day before my senior year of college that a part of the blame for that lay squarely at my doorstep. I realized with damning irony that I was enrolled as a communications major, and yet I was failing at doing that very thing with the womenfolk - talk about an epiphany!
I returned for my senior year determined to change my romantic fortunes, and eventually I did, beginning my first serious relationship a month before graduation. Though it didn't work out, at least I was building my dating resume and gaining valuable life experience. I have dated a few girls in the 2 1/2 years since I graduated, but no lasting success there just yet. Occasionally, it can still be challenging to talk to girls I've never met before out in public.
Ironically enough, one of my hobbies is karaoke. I have zero fear whatsoever performing in front of several hundred people in a packed bar or restaurant, yet talking to just one of those women can still be nerve-racking! A total contradiction I know, but my friends have always told me that I never quite made sense. 8-)
"My confidence and belief in myself is the port that weathers me through the storm."
However, my confidence and belief in myself is the port that weathers me through the storm - and was the key piece of the puzzle missing for the first 20 or so years of my life. I have yet to find the right girl for me, but I am sure she is out there somewhere. I know what I want, and my experience over the last few years was crucial to getting me where I am today.
If you are struggling to find your confidence, ask yourself these questions:
- What am I talented at?
- How do I make others feel about themselves?
- What drives me to succeed?
- What have I done in life that makes me feel wonderful about myself?
Confidence is not something that happens overnight - it takes genuine self-reflection, effort, positive reinforcement, and time. But when it happens, believe me when I tell you, the results can be amazing.
>N<<
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