My ex girlfriend says she hates herself because of me. We fought a lot. She and I haven’t moved on. How to proceed?

Anonymous
We dated for a year. It’s been 3 months post breakup. We’re still both a wreck. Clearly not a good match...

But something about her has me stuck. Something about me has her stuck. We’re both unable to move on. She is unwilling to try again.

She said I made her hate herself and I just cannot fathom how. She literally was the one who made me constantly apologize and think I was always in the wrong.

I don't know. I’m just so tired of feeling this. I have had sex with two girls since, and both times I wanted to cry after. I’ve tried everything to move on. She reached out two weeks ago and told me she also hasn’t moved on, writes essays about me, wrote a song about us, and that she hates herself.

I feel so guilty and stuck. I’ve maintained NC for quite some time now, and I still feel as bad as day one.

  • she says I’m manipulative because I wrote a letter and gave her flowers. I definitely took her for granted, but I meant everything I said. I stilll love her and I know she still loves me. She said she still thinks about me every day and hasn’t moved on. I know she hasn’t moved on at all... nor have I. How can you convince someone to rethink? Everything went down hill when she started her birth control.
My ex girlfriend says she hates herself because of me. We fought a lot. She and I haven’t moved on. How to proceed?
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