Is it selfish to break up with someone who has a kid? (Page 2)

[Finchie40]

It’s a selfish decision , but honestly he shouldn’t even be wanting to introduce you to his child until he knows for sure you are the one , I can’t stand people that do that

[Asker]

he didn't have to introduce me to his child he should have mentioned that he had a kid when we first started talking some people don't want to deal with kids in a relationship, especially a young age.

[Finchie40]

I agree with you a hundred percent , by him not telling you he had a child from the beginning was very wrong on his part , so I don’t blame you for not wanting to date him because right there shows what kind of person he really is , a complete liar , When someone can hide
The fact that they have a child, They are absolute pieces of shit to me , Girls have done that to me in the past and that’s why they are in my past , I have kids now and i always tell a girl I have interest in that I already have kids , I just make it clear to her that she will not be meeting my kids until I feel she is the one , out of respect for my children , people that introduce their children right away are selfish people , mainly cuz kids easily get attached to someone new and if that person decides to walk away the kids get hurt as well , so I don’t introduce my kids until I feel her and I have a great connection and feel she is going to stick it out for the long hall , let alone my kids are older now so I don’t really have that issue anymore the only issue I have is telling a girl I don’t want kids lol I can’t see myself starting over with a baby those times are done lol

[Avicenna]

No, there are plenty of ways to be selfish, but this is not one of them. You have your dating criteria and his kid has nothing to do with them. It's perfectly fine to date onoy people without kids if that is what you want to do.

[TayTay21]

No. You have every right to pursue your own desires in a relationship.

[aliali8]

you're too young to be a step mom. you haven't seen much of adult life yet.

[NarutoUzumaki007]

no , its not selfish

you just dont want that in your life

[RagnarRedbeard]

Sometimes you have to be selfish. That's not your kid.

[Just_Me89]

Not at all. Some people just don't want kids or to have kids in their life and that's perfectly ok.

[Wise4myage]

Not selfish, but he messed up and should have told you sooner.

[Silent_Bob]

No, but she has to be happy with the ones she's got. If she wants any more in the future, then that IS a dealbreaker.

[DavidFox]

In reality he should have told you he has a kid way earlier. Just break it off if you want to, if you don’t wanna date a dad yet.

[AmeerX]

I think if you love him then don't leave him. But if you don't love him then it is best to leave.
What matters is how you feel if it was you and a guy rejected you for having a kid with you

[TruthBringer]

She sould go and love someone who is childfree and doesn't keep something as being a parent a secret from the start.

[AmeerX]

@TruthBringer that's true he should be truthful from the start but I think if he was too blunt he would have scared her away.
Same for her if a girl with kids tells so much from the start then might put guys off from the start without even checking if she is a lovely person or not.

[TruthBringer]

@AmeerX Yes, this is a huge disadvantage single parents have and they know it. That's why that dude kept it a secret. And she has the right to be scared away. It's a big responsibility that many people aren't ready for. And in my opinion, if I'm going to take such great responsibility, I want to get something in return. And for me, it would be investing in my genetic offspring, which is not the case when I happen to take care of a child not my own.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are being selfish, this one girl I been talking to
has a son who's 2 years old and he was born with
a Heart defect that requires him to have surgeries
I would not stop talking to her cause she has a
son, you better tell the guy now before it's too late
and I agree with your friend

[Asker]

What does that have to do with someone not telling you they had a child when you guys started dating?

[eileen_ruth]

19 is too young for someone else's kid lol

[jimmy2]

No you are not its not your kid. Wow go have fun girl lose him

[OddBeMe]

Ehhh... kinda, but I we all should be selfish to spare other people pain down the road.

[Sia_nee]

It's good to back away now.

[okeydoke]

At your age? No it’s not selfish.

[winterfox10]

Yes, but it's also totally understandable

[Dabear1980]

Your not being selfish at all. Do you

[boggboss]

Got nothing to do with being selfish to be honest