My boyfriend is going through a rough time and wants to break up and leave my life, I want him to stay. What do I do? (Read Description!)?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been thinking of going to the same uni together and living together, but then he realized that he started loving the idea of uni with me rather than loving me for me. He wanted to break up to fix our relationship and I agreed so it would help us. However, soon after he got into a really bad situation with his parents which changed him in a way. He now wants to block me everywhere and not talk to me until he works on himself, and he told me even after that he wouldn't want us to be together because he didn't want a relationship anymore. However, he tells me that he always keeps the gifts I got him wherever he goes and he said that he wished we could get back together but he just can't. I love this man and I can't bare loosing him. What do I do and from a guy's point of view, what does he feel?

[smokeyshaman]

Not aure what kind of situation went on with his parents to lead him to this, but clearly he is really in a bad place in his head.

Sometimes when this happens, you just want to push everyone away, even those that you love. Perhaps he feels like he doesn't deserve anyone? Perhaps he doesn't want people to see him in such a bad state of mind? Without knowing what is really going on in his head its really hard to answer this question.

In my opinion (and I stress this is just my opinion) I tell him that if he really doesn't want to comunicate with you right now, that you respect that, BUT, really important, make sure he knows that he can reach out to you at any time and you will be there.

As far as hom saying he doesn't want another relationship... he may believe that now but give him time to get his mind back together and I am certain, if you really love each other, that will change. It is really really rare that someone truly dosen't ever want a relationship ever again. And the fact that he keeps your gifts shows he has affection for you and feels comfort from those gifts.

One thing i really have to stress, and i'm sorry to bring it up (please don't let it worry you unnecessarily) but if he ever comunicates with you, and you get the slightest hint that he could be in such a bad place that he has suicidal thoughts, and I mean even if you just have a gut feeling about it... please, you must call someone to help him. I know it might sound obvious, but you would be suprised by how many people don't take someone seirously when they express self-harming or suicidal thoughts. It should ALWAYS be taken seriously.

Again, please don't read that and worry about it... there is every chance that won't happen! It's jist something i felt I had to put in there.

My final word on this... I know you love him. And as i said, make sure he knows your door is always open to him no matter what; at the same time, in my opinion it's a bad idea to loose years of your life waiting for something or someone, because in the end there is always the chance that it won't work out (really sorry to say it because I know even the thought of that must be very painful); but it is an unfortunate reality of life... what I am saying is, while making sure ylu are there for him is a great idea, MAKE SURE YOU ARE THERE FOR YOURSELF TOO! You can't help anyone if you can't look after and love yourself. I would think about how long you are willing to give this, how much of yoir life are you willing to sacrifice knowing it might not work out? Make that choice and don't feel guilty about moving on with your life if you have to. (Moving on doesn't have to mean leaving him behind).

Again, this is all just an opinion, so dont take this as expert advice or anything. I'm jist speaking from what I have learnt in life from my own dark times.

I really wish you the best of luck with this 🙏🏻 and i wish you happiness, peace and love in your future yet to come 🙏🏻

[TommyMountainFigure]

He's quite clearly broken. Before he can be any good to you he has to fix himself. I know you don't see it that way, but he does I assure you!

[Wise4myage]

Cut him loose for now, but contact him in a few weeks or so and ask if he still feels the same. If he does, then focus on moving on.

[Iron_Man]

The guy is a clown and doesn’t make any sense how does a break up fix your relationship?

[Den1971]

Set him free if he comes back it was meant to be. If not it wasn't. Don't loose you. In all of this