For three long and exhausting years I put up with physical, emotional and mental abuse from my ex/now father of my son who is only two months. I forgave him countless times, saw good in him and believed he could and would change for him to always let me down. It took me having a son for him to stop physically attacking me but memories don’t fade, I still flinch at sudden movements by him and he still attacks me verbally, mentally and emotionally so when I recently told him I wanted to co parent and didn’t want a relationship he went off. He said I was using our son as a pond against him, for wanting to end the relationship, which I am not because I told him rather we are together or not I would never get in between a relationship between him and our son. He can still see him. I just don’t want to be together or be a family. I want peace, I want to focus on this new me which is being a mother. Is that so wrong? He seems to think it is. He said I only care about my son for benefits (taxes etc) when that isn’t true at all. I never even mentioned money. He was the one planning out how he was gonna spend the tax money a month ago. Mentioning how much more I would get for filing him and he was only a month old. He even called me “weak” for not being able to stand with him and be his “backbone” while he’s changing. I like to think I’m pretty strong and patient considering what he put me through for three years. He even told me “You liked me better when I was doing you wrong and hitting you apparently since you want to leave me now.” Which hurt because he knows how much pain his physically abuse caused me and the scars it left not just physically but mentally and emotionally so for him to say I liked him better when he was abusing me in that way made me feel as if he’s not really changing at all, just taking a minor break until I aggravate or upset him enough for him to act out against me in that way again. I just want to peacefully co parent and raise our son.
Is it so wrong for me to want peace for myself?
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Are or were you married?
No we were never married and still aren’t engaged or anything, he even has another baby mom and didn’t/doesn’t give her a hard time co parenting but he had this image in head of a nice happy family with me and our son. I just don’t get why he would I even want to be with me after all the abuse he laid on me. I shouldn’t feel used up to him.
*should
I get what you are saying but Control is what he's about. It is going to be difficult managing all of this with someone like him. Like you are married anyway and that’s how he is seeing it…
He's an abuser. It's that simple. He has to have it his way and you're preventing that.
Normally I'm a fan of second chances, but it sounds like you already gave him more than his share.
His biggest fear is if you and the other baby's mother sue for child support. It'll take a huge chunk of his cash and that'll prevent him hooking the next girl.
You should definitely do that.