Why would an unemployed woman choose to divorce her working husband to become a single mom?

[Anonymous]

Why would an unemployed woman choose to divorce her working husband to become a single mom?

Lets start out excluding the obvious:
1) The working husband is in no way a threat.
2) The working husband asks nothing of her, not her time, nor even taking care of the house.
3) The working husband tries his best to do what ever is asked of him by her.

4) The working husband makes plenty of money to support the family 6 figures.

5) The working husband does not even ask her to share a room with him.

Lets explore some of the possible shortcomings:

1) The working husband like many men has trouble identifying her feelings and responding appropriately when she does not spell it out.
2) The working husband like many men is not as refined as table manners and can be a little clumsy at times.

[Anonymous]

The responses here from @Razp_Sorbet and @Nikki1989 explain exactly why half of marriages end in divorce and women initiate 80% of them.

Studies show the #1 reason for divorce is lack of commitment, and today's women have no sense of commitment anymore.

https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/common-reasons-marriages-end.html

That fact is only reinforced by the fact that the highest divorce rate (by far) is among lesbian couples, the lowest rate is among gay couples, and the rate for straight couples is somewhere in the middle. The more women involved, the higher the divorce rate.

Today's women no longer take marriage vows seriously. They marry a man, get what they want from him and then divorce him.

Women are destroying the institution of marriage.

[Asker]

Most of the available evidence would seem to support that theory, that a great many women have no sense of commitment and are entirely self-absorbed in themselfs and their own feelings.

This now raises 2 questions:
1: Why are soo many women like @nikki1989 and @razp_sorbet?
2: How do we as men wishing a family identify such women so that we can avoid them?

[JamesDiaz11]

Because she feels she'd be better off without him, simple as that.

She may feel she can easily get a job, and perhaps find it appealing to become a modern career woman.

She may also have other male prospects that she thinks are going to be better than her current husband, or at least has the idea that she can easily find someone better.

[Asker]

A) How would such a woman be better off without a man who asks nothing of her while provides her and her children security and support?

B) What is stopping such a woman from getting a job while retaining the support of her Marriage?

C) So your suggesting that she is simply holds no value to her vows and instead wishes to abandon her husband for anther man. This theory starts to make sense as it is the one thing she cannot do within her marriage.
However having already proven herself untrustworthy with the abandonment of her vow, its hard to imagine any responsible man having any intentions with her beyond pumping and dumping her.

[JamesDiaz11]

You're assuming the choices are: (A) man who provides, (B) nothing. No, in her mind the choices are limitless.
A job may not be plan A, but she'll keep it in mind if she isn't able to find some high-value Chad to take care of her and her kids- women don't understand most men of value don't seriously date single moms.
Yes, she will be CONTINUALLLY pumped and dumped. See, the world appears to be all rainbows to women who are married, who have guys DM them, or flirt with them, or even just seeing other women they know with higher earning/ better looking men, or just living the single life (which is glorified beyond reality). And what's worst is that she knows all she has to do is manipulate her ex husband for any support she lacks using the kids (if they're his), and/ or can come back if she hasn't found a suitable guy.

[Asker]

@jamesdiaz11
A) So the contention is such a woman is not only a untrustworthy but delusional.

Again the question is what an we men do to avoid becoming victims of such commitment-less women?

How can we make it clear before we marry them that marriage actually is a binding contract, that there will be good times and bad times.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Uh she fell out of love. Why would you stay with someone if you don't like them anymore.

[Asker]

Do you really beleive that?

If this is indeed your idea of "marriage" how could it ever be a responsible choice for anyone to ever trust much less marry you?

Do you expect every man to abandon you the moment he sees anther woman for whom he has feelings that drive him to her? (FYI That happens all the time for men)

As it stands right now you are prepossessing that it is legitimate in a relationship to essentially offer no security or comment of any kind.
Let alone a Vow such as you take in Marriage to Love, Honor, and support to death do us part.

Instead even your 'marriage' is effectively no relationships at all, mere friends hanging out while it feels good.

If the unemployed woman shares your attitude it explains her actions perfectly.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Relationships are complicated. Why would marriage be any different? Sometimes things change, the person who you married suddenly isn't so attractive to you anymore. It's not about falling for anyone else, it's about not feeling the same about the person you are with. Just because that happens doesn't mean you don't care about the person, doesn't mean you never loved them, people change and feelings do too. It's just a part of life.

[Asker]

Relationships are built for mutual advantage based upon a cert of rules. Absence the honoring of said rules they are worthless.
This is as true of a trading relationship (which ends in thief without rules) as it is a security relationships like Marriage (which ends in abandonment without rules).

Marriage was suppose to be the most serous and commented of all relationships precisely because it was entered into to provide both parties & in particular their children some security and support of each other. This is why you take a Vow which is a solemn contract before God.

What is soo complicated about honoring the terms of said contract?

Why would the abandoned party or parties (in the case of children) in need of said security care if you had ever 'loved' them in the past when you refuse to provide any love or support going forward?
They need that service to deal with the reality of life and entered into the relationship for that propose alone.

Once again I ask you, do you really beleive marriage is about making you feel good right now?

If so, why take a vow to love, honor and support? Why not just tell the truth that you will only stick around as long as you enjoy it?

[Razp_Sorbet]

I'm not religious. Nor do I plan on getting married. I would say majority of people don't get married because of religion as well.

I believe You should enjoy being with your husband/wife and if that person isn't making you happy anymore then it's better for everyone even the children to end it.

[Asker]

@razp_sorbet You have made it perfectly plain that you have no interest in any kind of comment for your only devotion is that of your own feelings.

As such i entirely agree with your determination never to get married.

The question is would you not thou at least agree those of us who do in fact need and desire the security of marriage as contracted by the Vow we so carefully took should be held to that Vow contract as we would be any other?

[Razp_Sorbet]

No. Like I said things change. The person you are with can dramatically change after marriage, they could become a completely different person, they could become abusive, you have every right to end any relationship for any reason vow or not. I think you would be judged more for staying in an unhappy marriage than getting a divorce.

[Asker]

@razp_sorbet Tell me what is the propose of a vow /contact at all if continued desire were the overwriting controlling factors regardless?

You seem to operate under a world view that accepts no possibility of contract nor the security thereof. How do you imagine is such a thing even comparable with the reality of life in which we must do things and take risks for each other that can make us dependents?

Indeed such dependency is almost not even a risk as you are nearly guaranteed to lose your appeal to your spouse over time and become more dependent upon their support as you get older.

[Razp_Sorbet]

You should never lose appeal for your spouse. That isn't how love works. It is stupid to expect people who don't love eachother to stay together because of a stupid vow. We have divorce for a reason. It's incredibly unhealthy to pretend to be something you're not. Why the fuck would you want to?

[Asker]

@razp_sorbet Appeal is an aspect of infatuation NOT Love. Love is the service to take care of and cherish that you vow to commit to in Marriage.

Nobody is asking you to pretend to be something your not, they are asking other people to honor the vow they took to provide that service for each other until death do them part.

You have already told me your not interested in that security, and although it really is unhealthy to simply chase what feels good in abandonment of security which history of life has shown people to really need and you are not being forced into it such a security right now.

[Razp_Sorbet]

You can have security without a bullshit piece of paper. I've been in a relationship for 7 years. Think I'm good aye.

[Nikki1989]

Why should she waste her time on a man she no longer has feelings for.

[Asker]

If your relationship was just about your personal feeling why should you expect a man to in any way labor to keep taking care of you and your kid if his feelings ever in any way change?

Rather than drop and abandon you both like a rock to go chase after anther woman.

What propose was there to the vow to Love, honor and support if you choose to do none of the above the moment your feelings change?
Indeed if you could count upon such feelings to remain there would be no point in any vow at all, for those feelings would drive your actions.

It seems however @nikki1989 l your answer like @razp_sorbets illustrating your attitude towards marriage may answer the question as well as demonstrate why no one should ever marry or trust either of you.

[Guy13]

Something about the relationship is damaging that she rather be out from under it and poor than stay there.

[Asker]

@guy13
1) The question was what sort of things in a relationship could that be?

The 2 women who have answered @nikki1989 and @razp_sorbet have provided the same explication of mere changing feelings illustrating a shared disbelieve in any kind of commitment at all, let alone the one taken in the Martial Vow to Love, Honor, and Support.

2) @razp_sorbet explication of course begs the 2nd question where such an explication is indeed the truth, how is it that men today may avoid being lied to and taken advantage of by such commitment less women?