My girlfriend of 7 years said it would be better if we broke up but then changed her opinion after a few days. Why do people do this after breakup?

[dontkey_hot]

Been with my girlfriend for 7 years, living together for 2 years. We are both 28.

We almost broke up a few times already (mostly in our last year of a relationship). After having serious talk about us, she suggested we should breakup. I agreed because she sounded really honest about it, and I was already thinking about it before the talk.

During our relationship, I think we weren't really compatible enough to have a really happy relationship (or marriage later on). Many things were good, but also some were bad.

Anyway, after a few days she changed her mind about it, she said that she didn't really mean it that way and that she want us to try again. I already made my decision, but I am so confused why people change their minds after a breakup? This only makes everything so much more difficult. I feel like she either lied or she don't know how to express her feelings or that she is afraid of change. I tried to talk to her but she don't want to admit it. I am convinced one of these three possibilities is the truth because of the way she initiated breakup. It sounded like she meant it and she was honest about it. Plus, she didn't change her mind after 1,2 hours but after 3,4 days.

Why people do this after a breakup, it's so difficult to deal with the breakup after she changed her mind...

What are your experiences with people changing their minds after a breakup, why do people do this?

[jennifer_bloom]

I know people sometimes pretending to break up to make the other person treat them better and be more attentive to their needs, I know people who break up to make themselves feel more desirable due to low self esteem, and I know people who pretend to break up to scare their partner into offering their hand in marriage by making them think they might not stick around if they don't try harder to keep them. My cousin dated a girl with less money then him and she tried to force my cousin to ask for marriage by playing the hot and cold game and ignoring him in a sequential and calculated manner in the hopes my cousin would appreciate her more and not believe she would wait too long if he did not propose to her. It failed cause she tried with somebody not fully interested in her to want a marriage and kids.

[dontkey_hot]

I don't know about this, it might be the case but it's hard to tell.
She sounded like she really wants to break up, an then after a few days she said that she actually didn't mean it in that way, but she said that she wanted to break up things... She didn't change her thought after a few hours like it was a misunderstanding but after a few days.
I am really confused, but I know that it is good decision.

[jennifer_bloom]

I would take the break up seriously if you think your interests and values are not satisfied in this person. I think when broken up people get together - its often to soothe their pain and not because they are fully interested in where the relationship will take them. But I don't know why you broke up so you know what's best for you, I can guess but I don't know what is happening with you.

[Anemone978]

Well after spending some time alone maybe it hit her she was really gonna be ALONE and lose you out of her life for good. She might of regrated it, but if you don't want to go back that is up to you.

[Iron_Man]

That’s a shame that happens with some wishy washy people

[Avicenna]

It’s not unusual to have second thoughts

[In_Trance]

She had potentially what she perceived as a better offer but it fell through.