How do you feel about people who are celebrated for getting a "revenge body" after a break up or divorce?

[coachTanthony]

If you don't love me for who I am then I will leave you and become better? lol Make it make sense.

Yes

No

[Peter_Penetrator]

That revenge body will only last for so long. Then the next poor guy will feel like he hit the lottery. That is until that same woman lets herself go again after she gets too complacent in her new relationship.


If a woman lets herself go, then breaks it off with me, only then to get into shape, shows that she didn’t care all that much about me to do all that work while with me; let alone just keeping herself healthy.


For me, I can date attractive looking women with a few extra pounds. I am not shallow. If I am dating a slim woman, and she ends up having one of those revenge bods, only to let herself go, to me, that is a form of betrayal. What else in her past is she hiding from me.


Example: a woman using meth for weight loss only to eventually quit the meth and gain back the weight. I don’t want to find out later she is a closeted meth head with some sketchy friends.


This is an example of why so many women these days go for the guy with that “Dad Bod”. If she is slim, meets a guy that has that six pack, then she must maintain that physique to keep him. If she suddenly starts to put on the extra weight, he will ditch her for another slim woman.

[Fabiana1]

Can Drugs Make You Lose Weight?

[Peter_Penetrator]

Yea. Meth, cocaine and crack cocaine suppress your appetite not to mention spending all your money on drugs and not food.

Now, with your question in mind, don’t be doing something stupid if you are looking for a quick way of dropping the pounds. The positive attention you get after losing that weight is temporary. Once you start aging faster and losing teeth, ain’t nobody going to want to touch you except maybe your dealer. Trading sex for drugs ain’t cool.

[EmyyWolf]

@Peter_Penetrator
Metformin helps to loose weight too. Also Ozempic. One of them is a pill and the other a costly injection

[Peter_Penetrator]

I have heard of people developing stomach paralysis from some of those miracle drugs.

[msc545]

If they had done that sooner perhaps they would not be divorced...

[msc545]

Thanks for MHO

[BlackBeauty90]

95% of these "revenge body" people escaped from an demeaning relationship where their boyfriend or husband (or girlfriend / wife) was a worthless abusive piece of shit.

I mean if the person's weight issue was due to health issues, etc. then they'd not be able to get their "revenge bodies".

But most of them gained weight due to low self esteem, etc. thanks to the behavior, comments and whatever else of their filthy abusive partner ---

It's that simple.

[nathanp97]

Sounds like a way to avoid accountability for decisions they made. At the end of the day they chose to eat more calories than they burned and got fat

[BlackBeauty90]

@nathanp97 thank you for proving the nasty ass attitude of worthless partners.

[nathanp97]

I'm just pointing out a lack of accountability. People can't keep blaming everyone else for decisions they make.

[BlackBeauty90]

@nathanp97 hahaha 😂 🤣 if that was the case they'd not be losing weight after getting rid of the abusive piece of shit partners would they.

[nathanp97]

Not really. Lots of people just like the idea of trying to make the other regret thr break up or want to "win the breakup"

[coachTanthony]

Health issues? Might account for 0.0002 percent of the argument but thanks for bringing it up lol

[BlackBeauty90]

@coachTanthony that's not what I said. Try to read above 8th grade skill

[coachTanthony]

Just take accountability and you’ll be fine!

[nathanp97]

@BlackBeauty90, you did actually mention health in your comment, so he's just addressing that. No need to get mad

[BlackBeauty90]

@nathanp97 you both have a rather low iq if that's the only thing the two of you can comprehend

[nathanp97]

@blackbeauty u brought it up and he called u out for it. That isn't anyone being stupid. If u didn't want to talk about it u shouldn't have brought it up at all.

[BlackBeauty90]

@nathanp97 if you're too stupid to understand what I'm saying that's your fault. If it was actually health related that they wouldn't lose weight afterwards. And only an uneducated High School failure does not understand that health such as thyroid issues and diabetes causes weight gain.

[nathanp97]

Diabetes doesn't really cause weight loss or gain. There are 2 main thyroid issues one causes weight loss and one causes weight gain. Both are pretty rare, but people love using one as an excuse for being fat, but never thin😂. It's sad how quickly u resorted to an ad hominem fallacy. Says a lot about how bad your argument is. By now

[BlackBeauty90]

@nathanp97 I work in medical you moronic cunt and insulin, metformin and other medications for diabetes do cause weight gain. Not to mention its a common side effect of antipsychotic medicine, etc.

Honestly if it was due to a lack of accountability EXPLAIN why they're fit when they get rid of their worthless abusive partners

[BlackBats95]

Remember, men hate healthy plus size women. Just give up with these morons.

[LivingExample]

Maybe if she had gotten a “revenge body” during the relationship there would Not have been a break up or divorce!

[coachTanthony]

Yes exactly.

[b_lova]

Often there is a mental break because of a toxic relationship the keeps you from achieving the best version of yourself, so sometimes letting a person go is the best thing for a personals mental health.

[marrk]

@b_lova this is a really thoughtful perspective

[LivingExample]

I Love what you said b_lova and it is so True!

[jennifer_bloom]

My theory is they have a lot of spare time on their hands cause they broke up and they choose to use that spare time doing something difficult and time consuming so they can forget their loneliness and disappointment and it works for a lot of people.

[Avicenna]

I think it's good to praise people who have done the hard work to lose weight, but for the right reasons.

[tiajoka]

Is it less difficult to lose weight if you have bad reasons?

[Avicenna]

@tiajoka: You may see having "a revenge body" as a good reason, but it's not. Wanting to improve your health and self-image is.

[tiajoka]

I didn't say that lol i said it's bad re read it

[tiajoka]

It's still just as hard to lose it regardless of the reasons so I still view it as impressive. Unless you're saying that spite is the new diet pill

[Avicenna]

@tiajoka: Is it better to live life negatively or positively? It may well be harder to maintain the weight loss once the need for revenge disappears.

[tiajoka]

Is it less difficult to lose the weight?

[Pinay_ako]

Good for them. You don’t need a bad breakup to glow up! It’s their loss, not yours.

[Zatsuma]

Just because you break up? That's not a reason to loose weight and take care of yourself then celebrate. Besides if you wanted to keep your partner happy and drooling it should be done while you were with him or her. Take care of yourself and take care of each other.

[coachTanthony]

True 🤓

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I can see it, there’s a real satisfaction for getting a revenge body just because it means they feel they’re getting back the power that was taken from them in the relationship. I agree the concept on paper probably seems silly, but we’re not considering the context of the relationship and why they got divorced, not to mention if the relationship included comments on weight gain in a way that made them feel ashamed for feeling comfortable enough to finally allow the weight gain in a relationship.

[Screenwriter]

I think it's foolish to not care enough about yourself to have to use a breakup to do what you should've done ages ago. Just use that photo for fodder. This woman was in a rut. And perhaps her partner was tired of living with someone who didn't care for herself.

I don't blame him if he couldn't handle that situation anymore. It took many years to get in such bad shape and give up. Nobody is perfect, but self love has to be constant. Even in the worst of situations.

[ManOnFire]

"If you don't love me for who I am then I will leave you and become better"

- That's not what revenge body-ism is about. It's when a person who was dumped for being what their partner thought was overweight decides to use the breakup as motivation to become better, and not take their ex back when they come calling now that they see the person they dumped looks great.

[Cynicaldreamer]

"It's when a person who was dumped for being what their partner thought was overweight decides to use the breakup as motivation to become better, and not take their ex back when they come calling now that they see the person they dumped looks great."
This was the answer I was about to type out: thank you! That's technically what a revenge body is: usually they're dumped because they're partner is no longer physically attracted to them. So they use that drive as motivation to workout and look better- NOT to get said ex back, but to prove how good they can look and feel when said ex is gone.

Is the logic behind it right? Hey if it motivates them to get healthier and happier, more power to them!

[coachTanthony]

@ManOnFire Thought was overweight? You are either over weight or your not. We are talking 50 pounds here not 8 -10 pounds of winter weight.

[ManOnFire]

@Cynicaldreamer Absolutely correct.

[ManOnFire]

@coachTanthony If you're partner wants to leave you for being 50 lbs, then they don't deserve you after you lose the weight. They should've been encouraging you to try to fix it.

[coachTanthony]

@ManOnFire Well it's assumed they tried to get you to lose the weight and they chose not to. Obviously if they didn't try and help or be supportive then fuck em.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@ManOnFire
I can encourage you 'til the stars burn out but if you don't put down the twinkie and get off the couch that's on you.

[ManOnFire]

@BoopBoopBeep That's true. I just feel like leaving the person because of a weight issue is maybe a little extreme.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@ManOnFire
I hear you, but how many years you stick by someone that's put on 100, 200 lbs and clearly stopped trying long ago? That weight doesn't go on overnight and we do have a finite time on this planet.

[Apple1996]

It makes sense especially why women do this because they were giving everything to their husband and not taking the time to care for themselves then when they get single they are finally able to care for themselves.

I notice this even when my husband deploys I start getting really into self care just simply because I'm not busy caring for his needs.

[coachTanthony]

Staying in shape and staying healthy is part of caring for his needs!

[Apple1996]

It shouldn't be. A relationship is much more then just looks. Any guy that thinks otherwise probably deserves to be divorced lol

[coachTanthony]

It is and always will be. If you get fat and was skinny when we met bye. Marriage isn’t the finish line where people just let themselves go it’s just the beginning!

[Apple1996]

I guess it depends on the relationship but for mine I'd never put up with a man that had expectations about weight/looks. I feel super bad for any woman that has a bad husband like that

[coachTanthony]

Lol noooo that’s her being a bad wife for gaining weight and not caring about staying attractive as she once was. That’s evil BS. And we’re not talking about one offs like health issues …. those will happen accordingly…it’s the wives who are lazy and gain weight then get dumped then lose weight which bizarro world …. also works both ways not just women!

[Apple1996]

It's normal to get lazy in a relationship. It means your comfortable with your partner. Why would someone stay in a relationship where they can't be comfortable?

[coachTanthony]

It’s normal for liars who put on an act until they get the ring I suppose but nothing normal about that. That’s toxic

[Jonnyanalog]

If you think looks is all that taking care of yourself entails then that’s a pretty distorted view. You should take care of yourself as an investment in the future of your long term relationship. Taking care of yourself when I your 20s will pay dividends when you’re 70, 80, 90. You’ll be able to spend quality time with each other rather than dealing with health issues or possibly even an early death.

[BlackBats95]

You are the reason I hate straight men more and more.

[tiajoka]

Maybe he should take time to help her aroundthe house or work out with her then lol. Often it's lazy men who complain that their wife is overweight. If she's working as much as him while having kids and doing all the house work (as many women do) I don't know how you expect her to keep up.

[tiajoka]

Never get married tbh. If you think a partner gaining weight is grounds for divorce then you should never get married. And also make sure. you have a lot of money because. your personality leaves much to be desired

[stepyo99]

Why didn't they take care of their health while in the relationship? Why did they become fat and lazy slobs in the first place? I'm all for loving someone as they are, but being a fat piece of shit is a choice, not a genetic trait that you have zero control over.

The reality is that these people were fakes. They stayed in shape just long enough to try to get a partner and then let themselves go afterwards. And if someone is willing to do that with their physical health and appearance, then you have to wonder what else are they faking. Their loyalty? Their morals? Their love?

And before people inevitably misinterpret my words, there's a little relationship weight and then there's becoming an obese slob.

[MikeTheBartender]

I'm not really sure how the pole works into this, but basically the Revenge body means when they were in the relationship there wasn't enough interest to stay in shape. It's not so much Revenge as much as it's saying you didn't excite me enough to be the best person I could be for you.

[coachTanthony]

Good point

[Anonymous]

Sad. Pathetic. I’m mean I’m glad they lost the weight but the reason behind why they lost it was to get revenge, that’s the sad pathetic part. They should have done that while they were in the relationship. Maybe things would have been different. Not only that are we even sure that the person who dumped them was the bad person in all this? Maybe it was the person who got dumped that was toxic. The fact that they lost all that weight to get revenged tells me something about their personality, so maybe they were the reason for the breakup.

[Miristheiss]

So... you loved and respected your mate so much that you became a fat slob and took no efforts to stay fit and to stay appealing to your mate. You pull a bait and switch.

Then if the relationship ends THEN you get the mojo to get fit and to look your best?

Revenge? It just shows they have low character and they don't really have any real interest in their mate. They just care enough to look good to land a mate but then immediately let themselves go once they have the commitment and access to resources and the ring on the finger.

[Anemone978]

LOL you are assuming they were skinny when they met their mate.. it could be they were always bigger and the guys who would be with them would treat them like shit.. so after the relationship they think now I want to become hot so no one makes me feel like shit again.. its more to do with self worth than actually revenge, because most people don't want to get back with ex's on both sides anyways..

[ohsheeT]

Anytime you do anything for revenge it's just stupid.

And the odds are they'll probably go right back to that same weight

But if you're going to do it because it's going to make you happy it's going to make you feel good it's going to make you healthier it's going to make your whole life better I should go for it anytime you can grow as a person and it's real reasoning-wise and I say more power to you I say go for it

I mean it's like anything that we do for ourselves to make us healthier or a better person you get a lot more things out of this than just one or two things
It's an asset to your whole life really

[DarkCarousel]

“Revenge body” is a dumb idea because then it’s like you didn’t do it for yourself (and less likely to keep up good habits).
I can see working out/fitness as a healthy outlet for dealing with the emotions of a breakup. But not for the sake of “revenge.”

[pinkfluffyunicorn13]

I wouldn't call it a revenge body. I'd be more inclined to say in some circumstances the relationship may have been toxic in the end. Therefore the divorce could be the motivation the individual needs to live a healthier and better life than if they'd stayed and didn't get a divorce.

Anyway, why does it have to be a revenge body if all they want to do is better their life. Could other factors be more motivating that the divorce...

[sheikalana]

This is something they should've thought before getting a divorce or being cheated on. People just take things for granted after getting married and stop caring and let themselves go. That's just wrong. You should never stop caring for yourself.

[Anonymous]

I mean, I did this, but it wasn't necessarily for the reasons suggested here, aka. becoming hotter in order to have him miss me, that was a perk.

I think the breakup was a wakeup call for me, where I felt my lowest and unhealthiest. By doing the "revenge body" I worked on becoming healthier physically and ergo mentally, which helped me to move on. I started 'dating' myself, accepting responsibility for my actions, but also finding healthier coping mechanisms during times of stress.

I think if someone wants to achieve a "revenge body", even for aesthetic reasons, its a good thing because at the end of the day they are focusing on themselves (even if initially that may not be the case).

[Ramrod15]

I wouldn’t do it specifically for revenge, but after my first serious relationship ended, I spent some time working on myself, and lost quite a bit of weight. Of course she ended up noticing and wanted some fun, so I told her i didn’t want a situation where I get my heart broke again, and she offered to get some of her friends involved to keep it from becoming too intimate and personal. I ended up having a threesome with two of her friends right in front of her and we barely paid any attention to her, and that felt good.

[Alli39]

I mean go for it. Use your negative emotions and new found spare time to have a positive impact on your life. Hopefully when they settle into a new relationship (or happy singledom) they are able to maintain some of the habits they practiced during that period. I think that's the ideal situation.

[Yannishka]

Childish. It's a healthy transformation when you look at the body, but I think the reason sucks. Move on.