How do you feel about people who are celebrated for getting a "revenge body" after a break up or divorce?

Question

If you don't love me for who I am then I will leave you and become better? lol Make it make sense.

Peter_Penetrator · Accepted Answer

That revenge body will only last for so long. Then the next poor guy will feel like he hit the lottery. That is until that same woman lets herself go again after she gets too complacent in her new relationship.

If a woman lets herself go, then breaks it off with me, only then to get into shape, shows that she didn’t care all that much about me to do all that work while with me; let alone just keeping herself healthy.

For me, I can date attractive looking women with a few extra pounds. I am not shallow. If I am dating a slim woman, and she ends up having one of those revenge bods, only to let herself go, to me, that is a form of betrayal. What else in her past is she hiding from me.

Example: a woman using meth for weight loss only to eventually quit the meth and gain back the weight. I don’t want to find out later she is a closeted meth head with some sketchy friends.

This is an example of why so many women these days go for the guy with that “Dad Bod”. If she is slim, meets a guy that has that six pack, then she must maintain that physique to keep him. If she suddenly starts to put on the extra weight, he will ditch her for another slim woman.

msc545 · Accepted Answer

If they had done that sooner perhaps they would not be divorced...

BlackBeauty90 · Accepted Answer

95% of these "revenge body" people escaped from an demeaning relationship where their boyfriend or husband (or girlfriend / wife) was a worthless abusive piece of shit.

I mean if the person's weight issue was due to health issues, etc. then they'd not be able to get their "revenge bodies".

But most of them gained weight due to low self esteem, etc. thanks to the behavior, comments and whatever else of their filthy abusive partner ---

It's that simple.

LivingExample · Accepted Answer

Maybe if she had gotten a “revenge body” during the relationship there would Not have been a break up or divorce!

jennifer_bloom · Answer

My theory is they have a lot of spare time on their hands cause they broke up and they choose to use that spare time doing something difficult and time consuming so they can forget their loneliness and disappointment and it works for a lot of people.

Avicenna · Answer

I think it's good to praise people who have done the hard work to lose weight, but for the right reasons.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Good for them. You don’t need a bad breakup to glow up! It’s their loss, not yours.

Zatsuma · Answer

Just because you break up? That's not a reason to loose weight and take care of yourself then celebrate. Besides if you wanted to keep your partner happy and drooling it should be done while you were with him or her. Take care of yourself and take care of each other.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

I can see it, there’s a real satisfaction for getting a revenge body just because it means they feel they’re getting back the power that was taken from them in the relationship. I agree the concept on paper probably seems silly, but we’re not considering the context of the relationship and why they got divorced, not to mention if the relationship included comments on weight gain in a way that made them feel ashamed for feeling comfortable enough to finally allow the weight gain in a relationship.

ManOnFire · Answer

"If you don't love me for who I am then I will leave you and become better"

- That's not what revenge body-ism is about. It's when a person who was dumped for being what their partner thought was overweight decides to use the breakup as motivation to become better, and not take their ex back when they come calling now that they see the person they dumped looks great.

Screenwriter · Answer

I think it's foolish to not care enough about yourself to have to use a breakup to do what you should've done ages ago. Just use that photo for fodder. This woman was in a rut. And perhaps her partner was tired of living with someone who didn't care for herself.

I don't blame him if he couldn't handle that situation anymore. It took many years to get in such bad shape and give up. Nobody is perfect, but self love has to be constant. Even in the worst of situations.

Apple1996 · Answer

It makes sense especially why women do this because they were giving everything to their husband and not taking the time to care for themselves then when they get single they are finally able to care for themselves.

I notice this even when my husband deploys I start getting really into self care just simply because I'm not busy caring for his needs.

stepyo99 · Answer

Why didn't they take care of their health while in the relationship? Why did they become fat and lazy slobs in the first place? I'm all for loving someone as they are, but being a fat piece of shit is a choice, not a genetic trait that you have zero control over.

The reality is that these people were fakes. They stayed in shape just long enough to try to get a partner and then let themselves go afterwards. And if someone is willing to do that with their physical health and appearance, then you have to wonder what else are they faking. Their loyalty? Their morals? Their love?

And before people inevitably misinterpret my words, there's a little relationship weight and then there's becoming an obese slob.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

I'm not really sure how the pole works into this, but basically the Revenge body means when they were in the relationship there wasn't enough interest to stay in shape. It's not so much Revenge as much as it's saying you didn't excite me enough to be the best person I could be for you.

Anonymous · Answer

Sad. Pathetic. I’m mean I’m glad they lost the weight but the reason behind why they lost it was to get revenge, that’s the sad pathetic part. They should have done that while they were in the relationship. Maybe things would have been different. Not only that are we even sure that the person who dumped them was the bad person in all this? Maybe it was the person who got dumped that was toxic. The fact that they lost all that weight to get revenged tells me something about their personality, so maybe they were the reason for the breakup.

Miristheiss · Answer

So... you loved and respected your mate so much that you became a fat slob and took no efforts to stay fit and to stay appealing to your mate. You pull a bait and switch.

Then if the relationship ends THEN you get the mojo to get fit and to look your best?

Revenge? It just shows they have low character and they don't really have any real interest in their mate. They just care enough to look good to land a mate but then immediately let themselves go once they have the commitment and access to resources and the ring on the finger.

ohsheeT · Answer

Anytime you do anything for revenge it's just stupid.

And the odds are they'll probably go right back to that same weight

But if you're going to do it because it's going to make you happy it's going to make you feel good it's going to make you healthier it's going to make your whole life better I should go for it anytime you can grow as a person and it's real reasoning-wise and I say more power to you I say go for it

I mean it's like anything that we do for ourselves to make us healthier or a better person you get a lot more things out of this than just one or two things
It's an asset to your whole life really

DarkCarousel · Answer

“Revenge body” is a dumb idea because then it’s like you didn’t do it for yourself (and less likely to keep up good habits).
I can see working out/fitness as a healthy outlet for dealing with the emotions of a breakup. But not for the sake of “revenge.”

pinkfluffyunicorn13 · Answer

I wouldn't call it a revenge body. I'd be more inclined to say in some circumstances the relationship may have been toxic in the end. Therefore the divorce could be the motivation the individual needs to live a healthier and better life than if they'd stayed and didn't get a divorce.

Anyway, why does it have to be a revenge body if all they want to do is better their life. Could other factors be more motivating that the divorce...

sheikalana · Answer

This is something they should've thought before getting a divorce or being cheated on. People just take things for granted after getting married and stop caring and let themselves go. That's just wrong. You should never stop caring for yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

I mean, I did this, but it wasn't necessarily for the reasons suggested here, aka. becoming hotter in order to have him miss me, that was a perk.

I think the breakup was a wakeup call for me, where I felt my lowest and unhealthiest. By doing the "revenge body" I worked on becoming healthier physically and ergo mentally, which helped me to move on. I started 'dating' myself, accepting responsibility for my actions, but also finding healthier coping mechanisms during times of stress.

I think if someone wants to achieve a "revenge body", even for aesthetic reasons, its a good thing because at the end of the day they are focusing on themselves (even if initially that may not be the case).

Ramrod15 · Answer

I wouldn’t do it specifically for revenge, but after my first serious relationship ended, I spent some time working on myself, and lost quite a bit of weight. Of course she ended up noticing and wanted some fun, so I told her i didn’t want a situation where I get my heart broke again, and she offered to get some of her friends involved to keep it from becoming too intimate and personal. I ended up having a threesome with two of her friends right in front of her and we barely paid any attention to her, and that felt good.

Alli39 · Answer

I mean go for it. Use your negative emotions and new found spare time to have a positive impact on your life. Hopefully when they settle into a new relationship (or happy singledom) they are able to maintain some of the habits they practiced during that period. I think that's the ideal situation.

Yannishka · Answer

Childish. It's a healthy transformation when you look at the body, but I think the reason sucks. Move on.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Whatever makes them feel good.

I was 53 kg at some point in a relationship, the same weight as in my pink dress profile picture.

After break up I lost 6 kg in 2 weeks because of stress, I couldn’t eat.

It was in no way revenge. I am now stably 48-49 kg.

veganrogue · Answer

Something had to be a catalyst of such awesome change. Might as well be a divorce. I think anybody that loses and keeps off a significant amount of weight should be applauded, however celebrating the revenge aspect is not the best motivation. She should be doing it for herself and nobody else. Once the satisfaction of revenge fades away, is there any motivation to continue to work out?

Enlightenme21 · Answer

That's not why that happens, in a lot of relationships the person who looses weight and glows up removes the baggage that held them down.

Relationships take a huge toll on you and with the wrong person even make it more difficult to be a glow up and remain one.

Thats why once a person is dumped they glow up and feel happier. They lost what really was a gain being it held them back from healthy behaviors.

Rei13 · Answer

Honestly I support it. I’ve never gone through a divorce but I have experienced breakups and it is a painful time. Focusing on yourself is a healthy outlet and if getting a revenge body helps you heal then do it. You don’t know what their relationship was like so I just try not to judge

provokeesmokee · Answer

Who cares? They're getting healthier and idgaf what their motivation is as long as they are happy with their results.

Plus most people will focus on themselves after a break up. That's kinda normal and healthy.

So yeah, celebrate that achievement. Losing weight or recomping your body is work. That deserves celebration.

catiecatie · Answer

If that’s your go to remedy then by all means go for it! For me I did the exact same thing. Did I get my ex back fuck no that guy can burn in a pit of acid. I want my guy to enjoy things that I do, like exercising. Starting today I’m going back to my xc schedule. I had a v line and abs. I like this one guy and he enjoys running as well. I feel like as a pilot you have to be in the best shape possible.

Anemone978 · Answer

I think it is a good thing.. say you are fat women.. yes men treat you like shit even if they date/marry you.. then they dump for you for someone younger after wasting your good years.. so yeah become hot so you never have to be made to feel less by anyone ever again plus the anger helps keep you motivated. Look at Chloe Kardashian she got cheated on constantly in her relationships so now she can feel good about herself and not worry about goofs.

DermalPunch · Answer

I didn't vote because I dintknow what the yes or no is a vote a boutique but itsbetter than being morbidly obese and celebrating heart disease, fatty liver and rheumatism.

HighValue · Answer

They are awful people. It shows that they only put in effort for strangers but not for their partner.

I suggest avoiding those kinds of people for relationships. If you find out that is what someone you recently met has done, end it immediately. They will be lazy and put in very little effort in a relationship. Bad partners.

Bricealan · Answer

I see men and women both do that, and wonder why? I want to stay fit and appeal to my mate or wife, and not wait until she would get disgusted with my slovenly appearance and then decide to get BACK into some kind of shape.

Sad to see it

jshm2 · Answer

Makes you think "If you put in half that effort before, you would have been in a better place earlier!"

But life lesson is that some people just need to be told, some shown, but most need to get knocked out, before they learn how to get themselves up.

It's why they say that failure teaches more than success.

TenderFantasy · Answer

Hmm, you should want to do it for your own health and happiness, not out of anger or spite. That's immature.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

It's great if it's a life change and not until they get a new partner.

Andres77 · Answer

I think the greatest benefit is for one’s self esteem. And it’s almost a slap in the face (if they’re introspective) in that they’d gotten lazy and let themselves go, they could have been in shape the whole time. I’m not justifying cheating but in some cases getting so lazy and fat probably contributed to their partner cheating.

so now they’re in shape and a victim and trying to be a hero…but if they hadn’t become a fat pig none of that would’ve happened (maybe).

Anonymous · Answer

I feel that people should practice what they preach. If they weigh 300 lbs, it's hypocritical to expect their partner to look like a fitness model. Also, they should clarify this before the get into a relationship, that if their partner gains weight or lose their looks because of an illness, they'll dump them. Looks fade and ageing is normal. No one can look forever 18.

blondfrog · Answer

In my experience that rarely works, because if you try and get into good shape out of spite or just to impress someone it might work but not in the long run. The people you see who are in good health and shape only work out for their own health and confidence.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i feel like it's foolish... you should have that nice body when you're with the person

UnWokeDude_OrNot · Answer

Why could they not do it sooner? It's as if, you don't value a particular person till he/she is gone from your life.

Getting your things in order after a breakup and divorce is like still giving importance to that person. Just it is passive aggressively.

Try indifference is not changing at all.

Why now? What not earlier? Who stopped you earlier? These are my questions to these people?

Hanrej · Answer

I think it's weird how some people find motivation to do in revenge what they couldn't do out of love for their partner.

It's like "look what you're missing! Haha!"

Except it's more like "Nah, I missed nothing since you wouldn't do that while being with me".

Jazzy54 · Answer

They should do it for themselves. Not for “revenge.”

gallie · Answer

and focus on a healthier better you from then on!

Hot_Mess_Express · Answer

The best revenge is living well. And arson.

strateguy632 · Answer

should not celebrate= praise them because should not have delayed

genericname85 · Answer

they have something wrong with them if they need that as "revenge" and didn't wanna do that just for themself before.

molonski2 · Answer

It of course makes no sense that they became that " Sloppy " in the first place , but its good that they have done something about it , and improved themselves , but it needs to be full lifestyle change , not just a once of...

Anonymous · Answer

It’s what I would definitely do. As well as screw his male family members who happen to be hot 🖕

Anonymous · Answer

I'm all for people bettering themselves. And if vindictivness is your fuel, use it I guess. But in general I think a person should only get in better shape because it's healthier and they'll feel better. Looking better is just a fringe benefit of that and should be treated as such.

malooneylooney · Answer

I also stop contacting the person, I don't keep them around, anything is blocked, so my opinion is: get a "revenge body" but for yourself, to make yourself feel better and to become healthier.
Otherwise it's just childish in my opinion.
And a revenge body is temporary if done for the wrong reasons.

Sour-rose · Answer

Ey, that's just a stupid name. I think "Missin' out" body is better but i mean, celebrate knowing you are finally alone. Still stupid name

DisturbedFanatic · Answer

I think there are men who do this anyway. Get dumped and decide to focus on themselves, go to the gym, get fit, feel better about themself. Pretty sure they don't do it for the praise though, more for themselves and their self esteem and sense of self worth.

Anonymous · Answer

Sexual atraction is not a choice like what meal to cook. Weather you are atractef to looks, confidence, status, success, personality or anything/everything else, you dont make those decisions of atraction.

Im honist about my shallowness because my sexual atraction is based on only looks. So easy for those who are not like me to judge me.

As far as revenge bodies go, people can do whatever rocks their boat.

Nikki1989 · Answer

A revenge body? That is a new one.

Drewtate · Answer

I think its silly I mean they'd still be fat if they hadn't been dumped. It's more of a wake up call.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

I think that changing yourself for any reason other than your own benefit is stupid and creates an unhealthy mindset.

_piotr · Answer

They did not really love their partner. They could not lose weight because of love, but they managed to do it for egoistical reasons like hate and revange.

Mangospacho · Answer

It’s like when you get rid of a used car and then the buyer fixes up the car and does a deep clean and then car looks “better”. I don’t want it back so I don’t care what they do with it anyway.

katiesmuff · Answer

Maybe she should have worked on all of that before it got to the point of divorce

Anonymous · Answer

What a silly question. I doubt the reason they lost weight was to get revenge on their exes. That sounds so immature. They probably started going to the gym as a coping mechanism, to get over their breakup

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Maybe if you'd put forth that effort earlier you wouldn't be single...

Texasgal95 · Answer

Take care of myself and not be smoking nothing but president percent is it safe for chickens?

How do you feel about people who are celebrated for getting a "revenge body" after a break up or divorce?

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