Have you ever let bad relationship experience turn you into a bad person?

[Anonymous]

My exs gfs have hurt me in some truly truly evil ways. I have let two exes back in as friends only to be used again and then toss away again. I got tired of being this, so I did something to make my ex-girlfriend/ex close friends new boyfriend she was in love with dump her over a made-up story. My ex has done far worse to me she was a childhood friend, so all I wanted was my friend back. She came back every year to use me for something, then ghosts me. I finally ask her for a explanation since this has been happening for 3 years now but she threatens to have me arrested 2nd time she's done this. I know she will be back agin soon since she's uses me for relationship advice then leaves once i fix her.

Updates

1 y

I have blocked the first ex on all social media and told our mutual friends to stop given her my contact information. I told them if they give her my contact info they will be blocked too. That's how she finds me a friend will give her my information

[SolitarySolace]

You need to block her and keep her out of your life or she will have you arrested for no good reason. I should know I was falsely accused once and she had the police serve me an ex parte PPO I had to take her to court to attempt to remove and all I could do was slap myself with a civil temporary restraining order and drop out of school. Women have these types of privileges and benefits they can utilize at a whim to ruin a man’s life. If you keep bad women like her around your allowing for your own life to be destroyed. That shit is up to you.

[Asker]

I blocked her and told our friends to stop giving her nt contract information

[SolitarySolace]

Good

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

No, the closest is that I developed my worst drinking habits when I was broken-hearted (my own fault but that's the way I chose to deal with the pain). Nothing malicious or mean-spirited but that become my coping mechanism and form of escapism for a good while (just quit drinking completely last year).

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

My tendency when I'm deeply upset is self-destructive. I don't seek to hurt other people or even deliberately seek to hurt myself. Yet I do tend to engage in risky and unhealthy behaviors when I'm really down. I have a hyper-active conscience so hurting other people would make me feel too bad if I ever acted maliciously towards another.

[DreamCrescent]

same. never tried to get back at him but stopped caring about myself, gained weight, started having sex with strangers. self-destruction. i almost wish i could harm him and then get better myself. he’d deserve it

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@DreamCrescent I actually don't believe in the concept of "deserve". It's kind of lengthy thing but the way I see it is that I lack the omnipotent knowledge to judge what people deserve. That doesn't mean I'm against throwing a violent criminal behind bars, but not because he "deserves" it, but because that's the only way I know to protect society from further harm.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@DreamCrescent Do you know this song by any chance? It really resonated with me during that broken-hearted period, although my way was just getting drunk out of my mind (not so promiscuous):
https://youtu.be/oh2LWWORoiM

[DreamCrescent]

oh yeah familiar with her song. it’s about being at rock bottom and doing these harmful things to yourself needing to feel something

still sober? didn’t replace an addiction with another?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@DreamCrescent So far, so good! Haven't had a drop of alcohol since the end of October, last year. I've been very content though with my wife of over 14 years now. I picked up those horrible drinking habits from a broken heart I sustained in my early 20s (we were engaged to be married). Then I got over the broken heart but the addiction remained.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@DreamCrescent The only addiction of now is this site. I'm using it too much when I should be getting more work done (programmer). 😅 But I did that a lot before. I'm one of these:

[Mariena_Anne92]

Not turning me into bad person, but I don’t trust people anymore. Im always scared, always insecure and paranoid most of the time. Everytime people approach me or wanna get to know me, My past experience knock my brain and tells me they just the same like my ex. Maybe I already met my soulmate but I let him go because of my past traumatic experiences in relationships. Right person wrong timing, vice versa

[IslaTheWitch]

no, I don't hate myself

In general, what you did was revenge. It's the worst you can do yourself. It doesn't help you recover from the bad experience but additionally kills part of your heart and soul and taints your emotions. Revenge is a conscious choice.

Also, revenge shows how weak you are... strong responsible people don't hurt others in act of feeling helpless or hurt...

[Asker]

Deal with it for years just break got sick of being the nice guy. She's blocked on social media and told my friends to stop given her my contract information

[IslaTheWitch]

After 20 years of marriage, I learned my husband was cheating on me last 7 years. Should I burn my soul and seek revenge? Should I poison my days by thinking about him and ways to get him hurt? Should I sacrifice myself for this thought of making him as miserable as how I feel now? Is it really worth it?

I still have a life ahead, and to love someone else, I need my whole soul and heart. I won't give him the satisfaction of showing how much he hurt me - how much my heart is bleeding and how many tears I'm leaving on my pillow every night. I will recover one day.

[CaptainOverthink]

No, but I can imagine this happening a lot to people. It expains a lot if bad behaviors and traumas also play in there, but it's no excuse for being bad to others. It just passes the issues forward to start the cycle of hurt again.

[Anonymous]

This is actually really sad. Why don't you just break all contact with her? She's not going to change. And don't let her influence your behavior. Grow from this experience instead of falling with her.

[Asker]

I blocked her on all social media and told our friends if she asks for my contract info agin do not give it to her under any circumstances.

[dustybiker2]

That's a choice, no? Cut them out and go live your life.

[Nikki1989]

No, I am not that insecure or petty.

[Anonymous]

A bad person? No I'm a much colder person though. And I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. You touch a hot stove and you get burned you learn to not touch it again. If a woman I'm with cannot understand that then she really doesn't care about me then now does she.

[Bricealan]

Oh heck yes... one bad relationship turned me into Attila the Hun, I have become a real barbarian! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤷‍♂️

[sawno]

No, neither did the fact I lost an amazing relationship. Still myself, always will be :D

[KrakenAttackin]

"Before you seek revenge, first dig two graves". Whine you may not "die" while seeking vengeance, it can become an obsession, a very unhealthy and dangerous obsession.

[Wiredone]

As soon as the relationship starts going south and there's no way to reverse it, I slam on the brakes and let her out

[bobalife]

Not bad person, but bad things…

[sheikalana]

Never.

[laly520]

block em

[sirderpsalot123]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Sadly yes