When is a good time to confess feelings for a friends with benefits? What was your experience like?

[Anonymous]

So I met my coworker 4 months ago, he left our job 2 months ago and ever since then we’ve seen each other once a week and talk everyday. We go out on walks and we’ve been to the arcade. We never officially stated what we’re doing but I’m assuming we both are friends with benefits. Meaning we’re friends and have sex :) He’s so sweet and I like him a lot but I just got out of a bad relationship 3 months ago and I’m not sure if I am ready for a relationship. He has also stated that he doesn’t fall for people like that. But we talk everyday, see each other a lot. He calls me gorgeous and we’re always saying to each other how thankful we are of each other’s existence and how we vibe well. Our kisses are literally melty and I feel his energy on me every time we stop kissing. He sometimes explains how he gets really nervous around me bc I’m always offering head and he says I’m always intense with sexual stuff that he feels like “he doesn’t deserve me”. Point of this is , I can feeeel a connection and I think he’s not admitting his own feeling to himself but I could be wrong. I also like to take my time with love and things like this so I’m debating on continuing and giving us more time to know each other. But I really want to tell him how I feel, I just don’t want to scare him off or ruin what could potentially just be if I let things flow. Idunno, I’m in a pickle. I wouldn’t mind not saying anything and just seeing how we flow but I don't know if that’s the “wrong” thing to do. Help? Sorry if I seem like a wimp for not knowing what to do ! I just get flustered and I should probably woman up and tell him my feels but I hope you understand why I’m doubting doing that. Thanks for the advise to those who comment !

[PrettyPriya]

I would say the right time is when you FEEL it is the right time. May be hard to get into a relationship is he is already reluctant.

[PrettyPriya]

Also, I should add that if you are not sure you want a relationship yet, maybe best to wait until you are more certain. No need to rush anything.

Might I suggest doing some more date-like stuff and less sex-like stuff and try that on and see how it fits.

[Asker]

Yes you’re right ! Thank you, I’ll definitely just wait until I’m certain of what I want and how I feel. Haha I’ll try with doing more date like stuff, I’m kind of a very sexual person ( I initiate stuff), but I’ll try not to !

[PrettyPriya]

I think you have the right idea, dear. You need to make certain you are ready before even trying to see if he is. Best to wait until that feeling hits you.

As far as being a sexual person, nothing wrong with that. Also, I am not saying refrain from it either, because it does provide that emotional connection.

My suggestion is to ADD in some date stuff. You know, like simple things at first. Perhaps doing something causal before you meet up. Dinner? Lunch? A walk? List goes on and on. But, no need to make it a big production. Just little things to see how they go.

I wish both of you the very best of luck! ❤️

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you AI Bot 😊

[Avicenna]

Just be open about your feelings, but prepare yourself for the possibility he doesn't feel the same

[Asker]

Thank you I’ll definitely try and keep that in mind as well :)

[IncognitoBandito]

Probably right after an intimate moment when you're both emotionally available

[Iron_Man]

No time like the present