How long should a breakup text be?

[AviatorTom]

You're breaking up, but you don't want to do it in person. Instead, you send a text message.

Now the real question... How long should that breakup text be? What should it say?

Please vote in the poll, and offer an opinion.

One LETTER

One WORD

One SENTENCE

MORE THAN One SENTENCE

Something ELSE - please tell

Updates

19 d

Interesting how everyone points out that a breakup should bed done in person. I agree with that, but what prompts this question is my own experience. After my divorce, I dated several women, before finding my current wife. Three of them sent me text messages to break up, two a very short message with no explanation, one with a long explanation of what she wanted and why it didn't work.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Unless the relationship was something very short, casual, or otherwise, I would always advocate for a break-up to be done in person.
Exception can also be distance, and safety.

But, of needing to break-up through text, or a phone call, I would still focusing on doing it properly.
Preferably with several sentences, explaining what's going on, and maybe thanking for the time together, or what might needed to say.

But it depends on the relationship and the reason you break up.

[Simslover92]

If you must do it through text though I would highly not recommend it, it should be at least a paragraph long explaining why you're breaking up with the person because they at least deserve that much. But it's much better to at least call or do it in person if possible. My ex broke up with me over the phone and while I would have rather it had been in person, we didn't live close to each other so it was understandable. But in person is the best way.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you owe the person an explanation, then it should be delivered in person. . . unless there is concern about your soon-to-be-ex exploding or otherwise becoming a threat. If that is the case, sending a text invites a reply, so I would send a brief letter of explanation, including a request that they not reach out to me, and I would block them on all platforms.

[ArrowheadSW]

I think it depends on how long you were dating or how many dates. If they had been on several dates and even romantically involved, texting would not be the best way. If it were only 2-3 dates, maybe a text with a couple of sentences.

[DishLady]

Break up TEXT should not be a thing. Either talk to each other directly or have a mediator if things are complicated.

[ArrowheadSW]

Interesting concept. To have a mediator. I dated a lady for 3 years and it most certainly was NOT working for me. Any attempt at discussing breaking up was met with freaking out on her side, and "not hearing of it", etc. I was wondering if I was going to have to get a restraining order. Seriously. Finally she got in therapy and I think her therapist pointed her in the right direction and we thankfully split up on good terms. But a mediator would have been a good idea!

[DishLady]

I used a mediator with a situation created by some guy openly gaslighting me for a year. I finally told him “just don’t talk to me.” After a year of trying to patch things up.

[ArrowheadSW]

Interesting. Looking back to my situation, which was a long time ago, I would have considered a mediator if I knew that something like that was available. One thing I DID think of was to go to her therapist with her. But I thought it might be like dropping a bomb to say that I'm only there to split up. I wondered if a couple would go to a therapist when one of the two was using the session to mediate a split up.

How did the mediator come into play in your situation?

[DishLady]

The mediator is like a buffer. The relationship becomes sort of a side project you both agree to work on for up to a year. But you both have to be willing to put that time into it. You have to both be willing to recalibrate and salvage a things to the point that you’re at least friends.

If you’re just going to dump the person it doesn’t work.

[OneViewpoint]

As short as possible. I don't require a 12 page dissertation on your reasoning. Just a simple statement of intent will do. Example...

"I am breaking up with you. Goodbye."

It is not ambiguous. And I don't need to sift through whatever angst you're dealing with. Gone is gone. I had no role to play in your decision. It requires no reply.

[Noredcarpet]

That's terrible, good you didn't marry one of them, I've never heard you could break up using text messages, how laim is that. Tells you all you need to know about that someone. Great you found your wife 😀

[MrOracle]

Breaking up via text is despicable unless that is the only possible option. Be an adult and handle your business face to face.

No one likes technology more than I do, but your personal life should be lived in person, not via some device.

[Piercejeans1]

This is the heart of a person's reason to be on the earth... finding a love of his or her life. If a girl texted me about a breakup, I would know immediately she was the wrong one for me, absolutely. To sum up the end of a relationship and give the other person some supportive helpful closure as to what went wrong... which is the least that they deserve... takes a response directly proportionate to the amount of time you were together. One week and a breakup... a phone call will do it. Maybe five minutes. One year and a breakup... you have to go see them and deliver them a really well thought out explanation. And sincerest apologies would not be a bad idea either.

The one who gave you the explanation of why it did not work... was a keeper.

[jshm2]

There should be no breakup text.

You say it face to face, unless (s) he is liable to break your face. In which case you phone the cops first, and say it, when they drag them out.

[MannMitAntworten]

A break up text? I would never send one. I do my dumping in person. Eye to eye, face to face. As if “Dear John Letters” already weren’t low enough … enter the text.

[mysteriousNicholas]

@AviatorTom "I think we should see other people" 📱🤳

[beenherebefore]

I think a breakup should be a conversation that happens in person.

[sage2021]

That's just cruel to break up with someone via text message! That's just chicken 💩 and childish!!
I'm not going to answer your question because there shouldn't be a text sent. Period!!

[Nikki1989]

I won't text anyone about anything, period. Texting is for weak cowards that fail miserably at communication.

[melanieeeB]

A text? "Hey, I would really like to talk, when are you available?"
And then break up in person

[exitseven]

Maybe it is me but I would never break up with somebody with a text. If I could not see them in person I would at least call them on the phone.

[RavVid]

"It's not you it's me" is one sentence.

[mysteriousNicholas]

@RavVid 😋🤭

[AviatorTom]

@RavVid Why blame yourself? It's always the other person's fault. 😎

[RavVid]

It is well known to be a lie. It is them but exiting stage left quietly is important to you.

[robocop666]

I dated a girl Before the third date I got a text saying this would not work out. She had visa problems.

[Spencer10]

It would be zero... because I would NEVER breakup via text. That should be done face to face.

[BCRanger10]

Not at all. It should be done in person or over the phone.

[Drumlin2001]

Should be done in person or at very least a video call. But if its done by text, should be a few sentences at least.

[Ava007]

In person unless it’s only way or over the phone then a text.

[Shiprex]

Not a text, that's for explanations. Face to face or you're horrid abusive and cruel.

[Staximus]

Breakup should be done in person or at least a phone call. A text is just chicken shit.

[ABC1x1x]

Zero characters. You dont owe anyone an explanation. Just bounce.

[AngryCarl2]

Dear Loser,

Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.

[aquamarine321]

That’s the reasons why almost all relationships end terribly because pen are scared to end it

[PistolPetePetite]

That's just weak sending a text, be better and face them.

[Friendlybro79]

86 characters long lol

[msc545]

Whatever it takes to convey the message

[chickychickyparmparm]

zero. Break up in person.

[spartan55]

We are done.

[spartan55]

Re your update my personal breakup rule is if we've had sex I do it in person. Unless I'm risking being attacked, then by phone.
I broke up with a woman when I was in my 20s and she punched me in the face twice. She never showed any signs of violence, so be prepared. My mistake was not dropping the bomb in public, which probably emboldened her to punch me. Thankfully her punching power was like 0

[WonderingManII]

You should break up face to face,

[BarryLiverstone]

Real answer, break up irl

[Anonymous]

I don't know, I nevere had a breakup.

[Cuminginside]

A restraining order?

[whiskeyontherocks]

Should be in person.