My ex boyfriend MAD I dumped him?

Question

I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months because I said it wasn't working and he said "whatever makes you happy" and hours later, unfriended me on Skype, Facebook, etc. and untagged me in all of our photos together. he's virtually cut out of my life within a snap. What does that mean?

I'm going to talk to him face to face about this sooner rather than later because we did brakeup over the phone (oops) and I made a hasty decision and would like to apologize and talk it out. Why would he cut me out so fast? Did he care or not?

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

If someone breaks up with me, I cut them out of my life right away. It helps the healing process. Don't take too much offence, but maybe he felt that he needed to do that.

Just give him time to get over the relationship ending and maybe eventually you two can be friends again. I know it's hard, but sometimes you just need to give the person their space.

To me, his actions are perfectly normal for someone who is hurt and is in pain after a break up. You decided to end the relationship, and you knew the break up was coming. He didn't, so for him this is just the start of his pain.

I have been dumped several times myself, and I can tell you that break ups can be really hard, especially if he didn't see it coming. You even said yourself that the decision was hasty. So he is probably going through the whole grieving process. Let this guy have some time.

Trying to get him to go from being your boyfriend to your friend isn't going to happen right away. He may not even want to be your friend. But in the end, it's up to him to decide if he wants to stay in your life.

You always run the risk of losing that person forever from your life when you break up with them. So you should consider that before breaking up with someone. Emotions are strong things and he has a right to do what is best for him. That may mean never talking to you again, it's really up to him.

Best thing to do is to give him the space and time he needs to heal. You were the one who dumped him, so let him have his time to grieve.

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

He cut you out because you bruised his ego.

I get that you probably wonder why he did not fight for the relationship or at least ask what wasn't working and attempt to resolve your issues. But, some people shut down completely the moment the feel rejection. They cannot be in the zone to fight for anything because they are feeling humiliated and rejected and need to protect themselves by pushing you away.

Before you try and talk this out with him (it won't be pretty) you should really consider why you felt things were not working and whether you can be okay in a relationship that stays exactly the way things were before. Don't imagine him changing or you changing, remember what you had and consider if that really could work for you. If not, you should continue to deal with the aftermath of the breakup and try to get through it.

Oh, and the disclaimer of "(it won't be pretty)" means that he will have to continue to protect himself from you and could be pretty cold to you or say things that are hurtful. It may be difficult for him to take down the wall he has put up. Good luck!

TornApart · Accepted Answer

do you blame him? I mean my ex hasn't deleted me after he broke up with me. but some people take it personally. and to be honest its him coping with the break up. Not having he contant reminder that you are moving on, on Facebook, and the desire to talk to you.

This is bothering you, and I think you might still have feelings for him. Because why even post?

jparker0702 · Accepted Answer

I don't see how you would not expect him to do these things. When you dump someone you really hurt them if they truly care about you. I was recently dumped 3 months ago after a 3 year relationship and I cannot tell you the amount of pain that caused and still causes me. you need to really look at it from his point he is doing the right thing in protecting himself. Would you really want him to be in pain by thinking about you all the time?

Also that was a low blow breaking up with him over the phone. I don't think anybody deserves that. I did not do the right thing I tried to be friends with my ex and that only made it worse for me. Give him space if he needs it don't put yourself before him in this case. You have to be sensitive to the way he is feeling right now.

Belgie · Accepted Answer

You broke up. He doesn't want you in his life anymore. That's what breaking up means.

He's taking steps to move on with his life. The sooner the better, with such things.

Why should he wallow around in misery for a few weeks, hoping you'd change your mind?

I think you're only concerned now that he didn't care, and that's why you want to go back and talk.

Don't do it. This isn't about you. It's about him.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. You have already said what you said and you can't "take those words back." The hurt is done, the knife was plunged into his belly and twisted, and you killed the relationship.

2. You didn't even do it in person; you did it over the phone. That adds to the insult.

3. He responded in anger because you have rejected him and you have taken away a relationship that he valued. But the breakup talk changed that and he will never value you in the same way again. You rarely get a second chance.

4. The best way to get over an ex is no contact and that his actions accomplish that for him.

5. Some guys think the best way to get over a girl is to find another girl. He may already be looking for another girl, or could even be on a date.

6. As soon as you break up, he has the right to take actions to further his own self-interest without any regard for how that might impact you. And if that upsets you, why should he care?

7. Obviously, you broke up impulsively. Learn from this experience.

emmabee11 · Answer

It means he is moving on and you should too, if you really don't care then why are you making a big deal out of the fact that he's actually moving on? and also doing it over the phone is a cowardly move, you should of given him better and done it in person instead, I would of definitely been pissed if someone broke up with me like that. He probably thinks your not sure what you want ether because you break up with him without thinking it through properly and making a lot of hasty decisions and not to mention that's confusing when one minuite you want to go out with him the next you break up then suddenly your saying your sorry and want to talk it out?, it just doesn't work that way really. Once you break up with someone it has to be for a proper reason, what did he do that's so bad to make you break up with him?.

EPhantom · Answer

From experience. He loves you enough to know that you don't want to be with him, so he is letting you go, but he does love you so the memory of you is tearing him up inside.

Experience: long distance relationship that lasted almost 2 years, she ended it with sort of a "I don't feel I love you any more, it's over, there are no chances you will get me back."

I tried to be friends, but hearing her voice and her laugh made me feel like vomiting. Still not completely over the break up and it's been 5 months.

lacesout · Answer

He was hurt.  He probably didn't expect it and felt like you cut him out..so he is cutting you out.  Don't be too angry confront him gently.  He is probably hurting and doesn't want to remember you.  I did the same.  I deleted every lovey dovey message from Facebook, threw away every love letter he wrote, and deleted all of our photos.  It hurts but I'm sure he is trying to move on.  He probably doesn't want the pictures because they bring back memories that just end up burning in his mind.  I felt all of it believe me.

december1990 · Answer

I honestly don't know why your asking this. I know I'm being a jerk for saying that but honestly you had to of seen it coming. If you were the one who was broken up with you may of done the same thing. What's better, keeping the pictures of you two together up which just makes you wanna cry and miss the person or delete them out of your life completely so you don't have to think about it.

Your ex-boyfriend is gonna be hurt, he's gonna be in some pain right now... and the best thing to do is not have photos up reminding him of his loss. He's gonna be pissed off and not wanna talk to you and that could be because he doesn't care about you enough to keep you as a friend... it could be selfishness on his part but maybe he feels a HUGE betrayal with you leaving him and he rather have a relationship than just a friendship...

give him a couple of months to a year maybe he will heal and maybe you both can talk civily but for now just leave him alone and forget about him to... and move on...

gonyr · Answer

If you dumped him than he's probably going to try and find someone better that he can make happy. Can't have a bunch of recent ex girlfriend pics on fb if your tryin to get with other people. Your the one it wasn't working for so why would you complain?

Hidden_P · Answer

He doesn't want to look at you anymore because you've hurt him and he's really really upset and just wants to forget you and maybe move on. Most likely he just wants to spare his pain a bit. He probably hasn't decided if he is moving on yet, it's still very fresh. Besides, a break up is normally thought through carefully for the right reasons and he doesn't want to tempt himself into talking to you, or you talking to him and upsetting him all over again.

I think you need to really think about why you broke up with him, whether it was you being silly or if you had a real reason for doing it. Then speak to him.

Give him a bit of time to cool off. He's probably very hurt and upset. Of course he cared, he was with you for 6 months.

Anonymous · Answer

This:   All joking aside, you broke up with him... Can you give a good reason why he shouldn't be doing those things? By good reason I mean a good reason for him, not a good reason for you. Some people like to try and be friends after a break-up some just want to move on with their life... and they can't move on with their life if they are stuck in the past always thinking about their ex. My ex from 3 years ago friend requested me not to long ago... I denied her request. Why? Because I don't want to be in her life anymore.

misuzi · Answer

After breaking up with my ex, I left her on Facebook for a few days before thinking why do I want her on here? I don't want to see what she's doing now.

I wasn't mad or upset cause I didn't think the relationship was great, though it was good, but I didn't have a need to see what she was doing anymore(which it turns out was getting pregnant lol).

He reacted like any emotional human would. He was hurt and keeping you around with a presence in his life would only leave that wound open.

Joshbgosh · Answer

Yes, you should do it. You might as well express yourself than simply always wonder, "What if I had sent him that message, what would have happened?"

And chances are, he cut you out because he was angry with you. You hurt him and he was pissed, that's how guys (and most people, I would imagine) are.

Konnour · Answer

You can't repair a broken glass.
It was a bad decision. Deal with it. Maybe next time you won't make the same mistake.

Imagine what kind of a doormat it requires to be to accept back a girl who dumped you?
He doesn't want to be a toy you can play with, throw away and dig back whenever you want.

zer-jeuz · Answer

definitely... do it right now. send it to him. there's no time to lose but the time not to send this emotionally romantic and very touching message or letter. whatever you like to call it. I think if your boyfriend truly love you and purely accept your breakup with the sole reason of being over submitted to you and attending your personal reasons rather than fighting for his own selfish desire to be with you. he will definitely chase you out into the abyss, turn it upside down just to be with you again. but, hypothetically, if something unsung is hidden in his "accepting your breakup idea"...then, no second thought is miss out. no regrets. you've done your best. and you really put an effort to made him realized that your sorry and still love him. anyway, it should be the man who will cry for a girl and not the other way around. and in that sense, you made it easy for him, showing him the surface that he has the assurance to be with you again..

good luck to your love story..

Prof_Don · Answer

He did that because you broke up with him and that was his way to cope.

I find it very hypocritical that you broke up with him with a "it isn't working" generic cop-out...

...and you're mad that he cut you out of his life.

Do you expect him to constantly see, and/or contact, the girl that dumped him with a bullsh*t reason?

sixstring · Answer

He cut you out *because* he cared. He's really hurt, still having you in his life after being dumped is too painful.

Anonymous · Answer

You broke up with him. Let it be. How else did you want him to react? "I understand why you're breaking up with me, can we be friends or something?" If you think that's the way it works because it sounds like you've never been dumped, then sorry but that's not how it works. Let it be.

MyNameIsJonas · Answer

You dumped him. This is what you were saying "I don't think its working out, I no longer want a relationship with you."

Therefore he is simply complying with your wishes. Maybe he is not mad at all. Would that make you mad?

Xx_DRE_xX · Answer

Yeah you should go talk to him, when guys break up we generally get rid of everything that reminds us of are Ex its not healthy to keep things that make you dwell on them or the past you guys had together. Since its been a few days I'm sure his feelings aren't gone.

htowndaddy · Answer

Yeah honestly you'll regret it if you don't and I guess he did care he is just really good with emotions. And since he cut you out of his life so quick probably means he cares enough to consider your offer.

Yannishka · Answer

I would do the same. Whether I am mad, sad or happy. It's the easiest to move on to a new relationship. The past has got to go. The only feeling that Would guaranteed be there would be disappointed, because it was done over phone.

anon1111 · Answer

It means that you dumped him and now you're whining because he's not pining over you and giving you attention. Get over it and move on, because clearly he is.

My ex boyfriend MAD I dumped him?

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