Ex has new boyfriend but still sleeps with me and acts as if we together. Is she stringing me along?

I was in a 5 year relationship with my ex. She broke up with me a few months ago saying that she doesn't love me romantically anymore. 2 weeks later, she jumped into a new relationship with another guy.

We did not speak for 4 months and suddenly a month ago she messages me up saying she still loves me and is sorry for everything she has done and misses me. Since then we have begun texting each other and I sleep over and we have sex once or twice a week. She acts as if we are still together, holds my hands, kisses me, tells me she loves me, calls me pet names,etc... yet when I ask her why she is still with this new guy and not trying to work it out with me again, she says she can't just end it with this new guy since she has a close group of mutual friends with him and that she wants to improve herself before seeing me again.

She then tells me she has no feelings of love or long-term feelings with him like she has with me. She says she wants to continue seeing me because she truly loves me and I make her happy, while she lets the new relationship slowly die.

I do want to believe her and continue seeing her but I do not want to wait forever for her to let her new relationship die. I also feel guilty that she is secretly cheating on her new boyfriend with me. (Even though she tells me she doesn't see him as a boyfriend and that they have not had sex).

Do you guys think that she is just stringing me along?

Also I have read that women tend to see sex as something more emotionally bonding and not just pure physical sex... does that mean she really still has some feelings for me if she is willing to have sex with me?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex and I broke up with me a couple months ago and we too were together for 5yrs. He has been seeing this girl shortly after we broke up. However he has told me he still finds me attractive and we then spent Easter weekend together and had an amazing time, he told me he wanted to work things out but after a few days he became distant again. I found out he is still seeing this girl but he still talks to me and giving me these thoughts that he still wants to be with me but I don't know what to do either. I know for myself that when I have sex it is filled with emotion and I do it out of love. Your ex needs to let this guy go sooner then later if she wants to make things work with you. Same here. I would love to make things work with my ex but I can't force him back and to be honest it sounds like your closer to getting what you want then I am. Good luck but be cautious, if she gets back with you then I think you really need to have some kind of security that she won't leave you hanging again. You may what to consider some serious counselling with a couples therapy.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Anyone who would hide you from public view and only deign to sneak around with you in secret does not love you. That's what *I* think, anyway. Sounds to me like that girl of yours (and his) is getting something from him she can't get from you (whatever that maybe, I have no idea) and she is using that as justification for lying to him and bullsh*tting you, too.

    If I truly love someone, I can't be with someone else. I think that's the way it works. I may SAY I love the guy I'm cheating on, but if I'm cheating I don't love him. Or I may SAY I love the guy I'm cheating with, but if I make no move to make a legitimate, non-secret relationship withhim, then I don't love him. I'm no angel. I've perpetrated some shady sh*t before, myself. And I can tell you without hesitation that I don't f*ck over and lie to people I love and I never have. I'm not justifying my actions by saying since I didn't love them it was okay. All I'm doing is picking this apart for you and showing you what my experience has been when I was on the giving end of f*ckery. It wasn't about them- it was about *me* and what *I* wanted. That's not love. That's not even "like".

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  • End it.She is just stringing you along.It sounds like a gross situation.If she loved you,she wouldn't have broken up with you.If she loved you,she would have dropped the other guy already.Excuses,excuses.You're getting played mate.

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  • SELFISH is one word to describe her. End of story.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This is wildly unhealthy. Good luck with all of this.

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  • She's just seeing you as a friend with benefits.

    Good thing to have.

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