I was pretty hurt and went NC for a few months. We then saw each other at an event (we have mutual friends in common). She saw me sitting with an attractive female friend. I heard through the grapevine that my ex already thought I was dating someone. I think this is why she was cold to me when I approached her on a previous occasion (even though before that, she had been friendly to me). Now that she saw me with another woman, it probably confirmed her suspicions.
I tried to respect her space and see if perhaps she would come around.
But, did I now inadvertently kill my chances of ever getting back with her?
Most Helpful Girl
For starters,you shouldn't ever try and get someone back that has blatantly told you that they do not feel the "love and passion" for you.You have got to respect yourself more than that dude.There are more than 7 billion people on this planet.Granted at one point you were into this girl (obviously more than she was into YOU),but you must understand that there are so many other girls out there with some of the very same qualities you admired in her,and girls who are actually a BETTER fit for you than she was.You're still hurt about it because you were dumped.The dumpee usually feels the worst in breakups because it is a form of rejection.NOW...
Seeing you with another girl...does it help or hurt you?The answer is...NEITHER. If she is jealous,it is because she hasn't found someone to replace you...YET.Not because she magically overnight has fallen back in love with you...let's be realistic here.By you finding someone else,its just showing her that you are moving forward,and not looking back at what you ONCE had.Its warped,but also in my opinion normal for the dumper to feel jealous of a partner finding new love.Why?Because there is no way to erase a relationship.Time shared is time shared whether it is a week,month,or a YEAR.The dumper still mourns the loss of the relationship,or better yet having a partner for company,but NOT necessarily that PERSON.They are mourning the aspect of a relationship...nothing more. I would almost guarantee that if you even TRY to get this girl again,she would either say NO,or say YES...and then leave you again not too soon after.
I once had a BF,he dumped me and I was devestated.I felt that I "NEEDED" him back.I presented a case that said we should be together.I put allllllll of the power and decision into his hands.We got back together,and he was a d*** and treated me like sh*t.I was overwhelmed with hurt,and the entire time I feared he would leave me...AGAIN because he had already done the same thing once before.We were only together for two months after getting back together before I decided I know longer wanted to be treated like sh*t. When I told him I was over it,he didn't REALLY care either way,because he was sort of checked out of it anyway.He was more or less with me for superficial reasons.Not because he liked me so much.So I put myself through all sorts of embarrassment,and putting my feelings on the line for someone who kicked me to the curb once before.
My honest advise to you friend...get over this chick.She told you basically that she is over you.The relationship is now spoiled to be honest.You owe yourself a hell of a lot more than trying to think whether or not she will be jealous of you for finding someone new.You owe yourself more than trying to have someone who can easily dispose of you.Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship,and MOVE ON to someone better.Someone who will be just as excited about YOU as you are of them.
Find someone NEW.Only except the BEST.0
- Show AllShow Less