Why I Love Dating Men Who Spend Money on Me!

[Anonymous]

Let's be honest, regardless of what any woman says out there, a man who spends some denomination of money on a woman, will be liked by her. Financial investment is not exactly necessary to keep a relationship going, but no financial investment is a big sign that things are not right. After all, aside from spending time and effort- what else is left?

I found out the hard way that signs of a man spending too much money or not enough (as in asking for me to pay for us both, or insisting we consistently split the check) are red flags. So here is my experience, and before you judge the title of my article, please continue reading.

I started dating Adam when I was 19. I was a poor student in University while he worked at Radio Shack. He lived at home with his parents, but always made time for me. I remember the first 5 dates he asked the waiter to "split the check"- i thought "sure... well money must be tight". Into our 6th date, Adam bought us movie tickets as it was half off Tuesdays, and he asked me to buy us some food. Not that I am counting but the movie tickets were $24, meanwhile the 2 nachos, popcorn, drinks and candy were close to $40.

It didn't bother me at first, but the continuous "splitting" of things after the 11th date made me extremely agitated. Adam bought himself some new speakers for his room, a new snow board- and I realized that he wasn't "broke" he just did not care to invest. This was beginning to be prominent after he would not care about exchanging cards or small gifts during special occasions, his lack of care to take me out after a stressful exam... or exhibit any sort of commitment.

Bottom line, 3 months in I realized we were done. I ended things, and Adam wasn't even phased. A few months later, I started dating Howard. Howard was a student like myself with a part time job. Howard would bring me flowers, and take me out to eat and watch movies, and although he didn't spend plenty of money on me, he made the effort.

In conclusion, it's not about the denomination. It's about the thought. If a man can't invest $15 in you for a meal, or $10 for flowers on a special occasion- don't waste your time.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I'm absolutely not like this. As a woman I don't care if a dude feels obligated to spend money on me and certainly wouldn't be "agitated" if we had to split on the date. I'm not a financial investment because I'm not an object or fucking stocks, lol, your money can't win my affection. If a guy wants to spend money on me I see that as a nice gesture, not an obligation and I don't see you as more or less of a potential partner based on what money you spend on me.

However I do agree with you that if he's intentionally trying to have you pay for everything to cheap out, that shit is annoying.

[coachTanthony]

Investment? I guess I will post this video again!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71o3hq6iSPM

[RhythmBlack]

First, nothing is wrong with splitting the check. The guy doesn't have to invest anything in you unless you're his fiance or wife.

Second, why are you buying food from the cinema? You buy it outside and smuggle it in. It's your fault for spending $40 worth of movie theater food which you could used to buy yourself 3 days of takeout or new shoes for yourself.

Guys don't need to invest in you to make you feel attracted to them. That's an old idea. Don't act like you're entitled for him to bless you with money and gifts. What is this?

[TripleAce]

"Not that I am counting but the movie tickets were $24, meanwhile the 2 nachos, popcorn, drinks and candy were close to $40."
--> oh you are defiantly counting

"Bottom line, 3 months in I realized we were done. I ended things"
--> so you broke it off because you had to split the bills... huummm

"I found out the hard way that signs of a man spending too much money or not enough (as in asking for me to pay for us both, or insisting we consistently split the check) are red flags"
--> a red flag is saying that this is a red flag... you just went on the radar sugarbutt

Anyways, he can pay... sure why not --> as long as he has superiority over you because you 'need' him to pay. Most men rather call the shots and throw a few bucks at you... it's that easy to win your heart, couple of bucks here n there and you'll be drooling over him

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Jackpot! ☝☝☝

[Unit1]

Thank you for being honest. That way I will know to not date women like you.

But let's get on topic again, that Adam wasn't that much interested in you, so you have only one time experience with just one guy, who wanted to keep splitting it.

But if money defines your relationship, then let money define your relationship but stay away from me please.

And finally media.giphy.com/media/WYCv1vpB9wYGQ/giphy.gif

[tyber1]

I am. She a gold digger.

[GraveTruth]

This is the DUMBEST article I've ever read. FULL OF LIES.

Let's get something straight. Guys who buy women tons of stuff are idiots because that is the perfect way for a woman to have no respect for a guy. When you buy stuff for a women you are basically saying "I'm not good enough to talk to you so I'm going to buy your time". And the girl stays with him but has NO respect for him. That is why in the sugar daddy/sugar baby world it's AWFUL. sugar daddies are complaining that the women they buy crap for are not loyal to them.

The best way to get a girl to think you are dogshit is to buy her stuff like crazy. What a STUPID article.

[Mysterio421]

So you're a prostitute? How much do you charge and what happened to equality? By the way, women are NEVER a good investment just like a house is NEVER good investment. When it comes to a house, you'll be lucky to even get something. The investment is the pleasure you get out of the house, however there's maintenance costs. Women's looks fade overtime. Haven't you heard of the phrase, men age like wine and women age like milk? He was smart not to spend money on you. The first thing you need to work on is your attitude. You're going to end up miserable at the rate you're going. I've seen it happen time after time again. No one owes you anything and the world doesn't revolve around you. What makes you think you deserve free things or flowers. This self entitlement attitude is a big turn off and will end up making you bitter overtime. Grow up and earn your living.

[AskYOUidiot]

Figured women would dislike this lol

[Mysterio421]

@AskYOUidiot That means that I'm doing my job 😂

[Chico_brah]

Some dudes might praise you girls and put you on a pedestal solely because of that. Certainly not me. You aren't to be privileged or to of earned my respect because you're a girl. Paying for a girls date is insinuating that she is doing you a favor. No, we are both adults. I'm observing you too. You have to work to impress me as well.

Can't stand the entitlement. There are plenty of dumbass disgusting whores at my university that will never get the time of day from me. If you reject them, then they ask if you are gay. Lmfao. Nah bitch, you got rejected because 1.. I have a girlfriend and 2... you're fat and smoke weed all day.

For those reasons, I will not pay for you food. Be a fucking adult and pay for your own shit. You are not entitled to my money and you are not a fucking princess.

[Kit_Kat88]

I love the reasons to why you rejected them haha. Your girlfriend must be happy.

[Kirah]

No offense, but you seem like a gold digger.

You're offended that someone treats you equally? Splitting costs is perfectly normal.

You're probably the type of woman who expects your boyfriend to buy you flowers, and never do anything back for him. Get off your pedestal, princess.

[Mrwoo99]

This!

[sadiesays06]

I don't look at it the same way. There are other signs of investment (like spending time in conversation, really connecting as people, or him being interested / invested in my life, wanting to meet my friends and family, wanting me to meet his) that speak a lot more loudly to me than spending money. There are so many thoughtful gestures that don't cost a dime.

If a guy does spend money on me I'll appreciate it, and if we're in a relationship I'll likely spend money on him at different points, too. But if I'm dating a guy, it's not because I feel drawn to his wallet... I feel drawn to HIM.

You said you don't care about the denomination because it's about the thought. And you mentioned cards for special occasions... So, just curious, how would you feel about a handmade card that cost $0 instead of a store bought card that cost $10?

[Notorisch_Arschloch]

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls994yqDQb1qi0i2i.png

Men want youth and beauty, women want an established man. A woman's beauty has the shelf life of a banana, while man's net worth and earning capacity tend to increase over time. I would expect one with nothing but depreciating assets on offer to invest in an appreciating asset.

In short, women need to pay and be thankful I gave them my time.

[BuchitaBuchys]

I don't understand this mindset at all. Like if him spending money is how he's showing interest, and you are so against spending your money, then how exactly are you showing interest in him?

This sounds like a spoiled princess whos love can be bought. That isn't love though, he's just renting your attention.
Kudos for realizing it and not trying to front that you're not a gold digger.

[BuchitaBuchys]

At the very least, your lesson learned is that material things are more important than attention and affection

[Cccgala]

"[H]e just did not care to invest."
I think you saw it that way with Adam because the only investment you accepted was money! What happened between the two of you emotionally? Did you two even share worthwhile memories?

Oh, don't be angry but he had every right to spend his money on valuables that didn't even concern you and should not concern you at all.

[mattty]

"If a man can't invest $15 in you for a meal, or $10 for flowers on a special occasion- don't waste your time."

If a woman expects her man to "invest" in her without her giving anything in return dont waste your time.

[skype1000]

Its quiet sad that there are many women that define a guy by money. I am not saying that its the only thing that these same woman only care about in a guy, except for gold diggers of course. But it plays a large role. A guy should be defined solely on his characteristics. Not mainly or even largely on what he will do for her.

[CrystalChild]

I disagree. You don't need to spend money on someone for them to love and be invested in you. I guess indirectly spending money like making a meal for you or spending their time on you, but I don't think you HAVE to shell out cash. Although if a guy I was dating wanted me to always pay for things I would NOT be cool with it

[vonasaurus]

while i'm grateful to anyone (male, female, relative, s/o, best friend) who spends money on me, it's certainly not a requirement.

i always pay for myself on dates until we are exclusive, at which point we take turns. i could understand being "agitated" if you were in a bad way financially or he made you pay for everything all the time... but, as it stands, i agree with many of the other posters that this kind of entitlement is a huge turn-off.

[fueledbythc]

If that first guy was me, the instant you would complain about that kind of stuff about paying for things I probably would ghost you instantly. Why should I pay for someone who is expecting the guy to pay. It shows that you are an ungrateful bitch and a gold digger. Girls like you don't deserve to be in a relationship. You expect the guy to give and you to receive with no middle ground. Relationships work with mutual effort, and you never give any effort.

[PurpleTeardrops2]

Ok Adam was obviously not that invested into the relationship. It's good you found someone that met most of your standards.

I don't know why the other men are bitching and making your standards personal to them
Based on the other answers by women under this question, y'all men complaining, don't have to worry about the few women who do want to stick to traditional gender roles.

[singlebee]

Lol you are a typical gold digger...

You feel people don't invest in you because money is what you want as an Investment...

Where as the guys you are dating are looking for some real women... For themselves.. Which you are not.. Lol

You live in the old age which is now gone... Grow up

[AskYOUidiot]

Of course women would dislike this lol

[singlebee]

@AskYOUidiot I wasn't surprised to see some downvotes Lol

[AskYOUidiot]

Especially from women lol

[RealandGenuine26]

Too one sided, why does he have to spend money on you? Its not about the money, the connection special moments close moments are what matters. And he always has to take YOU out? You can't do anything special for him sometimes? a relationship means taking care of each other, you are suppose to take care of him too.. . He doesn't have to spend all his money on you, sounds like you want a guy for his money to me. gold digger

[Jessicocoa]

I don't want a man to "invest" in me. I would much rather date a guy who wants to split the bill over some guy who thinks he can win me over with cash. Huge turnoff and please... don't speak for other women.

[Unit1]

I find it a huge turn off too the moment I realize, that money is what keeps her to me.