Maybe you need to reconsider your standards. I know a lot of people who insisted anyone meet their "standards" before dating them. Some of them died alone. If that is OK with you as a long-term possibility, then that is fine.
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myTake Owner
+1 y
Em. Fuck no. I refuse to lower what I want from someone just to settle for a guy, where we are both miserable in each other’s company.
yeah lowering your standards to the point where you're dating someone you have no physical attraction or just find very boring to be around is a waste of time and will not make you happier
Technically it is, because I'm sure you can find SOMEONE to go out with you. Most people will normally wait for someone they actually like when they're single
@Safa_Malfoy Because it's far, far easier in this life for a girl to get attention from boys than it is for a boy to get attention from girls. Like, we don't get attention. Ever.
Yes, precisely my point-- why is that what's expected? Bear in mind, I'm not complaining about it one way or the other, but, why is that what's expected?
Well people are initially single lol so that is wrong. Being single might be a choice, but really if you are dating so many people that you can't remember being single, then you have a problem maybe.
I suppose this is true, assuming someone has absolutely zero standards whatsoever.
Let's assume a straight guy wants to marry a girl someday. Most guys are visual it seems when it comes to picking a girl. Sure, a guy can find a woman to marry-but the catch is, it will more than likely be a woman who is conventionally ugly (meaning a woman who is WIDELY considered unattractive).
I'm sure most of us can handle dating a girl who is a 6/10 on the "looks scale", or even a 4ish/10, but what about the girls who are a 1/10? Or even something like...0.5/10? I mean the BOTTOM of the barrel? I'm not picky at all, but there are SOME limits.
@EnglishArtsteacher Again, by placing limits and adhering to subjective rating scales , that is making a choice. Justify it however you wish. It is choosing to be single versus settling for whatever you can get for the sake of not being single.
And this trap is actually quite funny to observe. Your response is typical male. Have a woman phrase it the same way, and she is seen as being "too picky" or "shallow". Dudes have no problem living this way, but get totally bent when a woman they are interested in that is more attractive than them rejects them for this very same reason.
The people who claim the loudest that it is a choice are the ones who did NOT choose it, but they are trying to salve their own hurt little selves by saying they did. The people who did choose it have no need to proclaim they chose it.
People are single by choice, but the decision is made by someone else.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
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Don't listen to those sayings. They are mostly untrue and invalid. Try EMDR therapy. It's all discussed in the book "Getting past your past." It's a lifesaver.
Not sure what you mean. It can be a choice or it can't.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
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I don't want to get married, don't want kids, don't want a relationship. I met a lovely girl a few months ago and weighed up all of the pro's and con's... still decided on being single. It's a choice.
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Maybe you need to reconsider your standards. I know a lot of people who insisted anyone meet their "standards" before dating them. Some of them died alone. If that is OK with you as a long-term possibility, then that is fine.
Em. Fuck no. I refuse to lower what I want from someone just to settle for a guy, where we are both miserable in each other’s company.
I was thinking more in terms of looks and income and such. I don't expect anyone to go with someone they can't stand.
Regardless, you’re telling me to lower my standards. So. Whatever.
yeah lowering your standards to the point where you're dating someone you have no physical attraction or just find very boring to be around is a waste of time and will not make you happier
True because you can seek a companion and be rejected. That's not your choice.
However, it can be a choice implied if you choose not to try to find the love of your life.
Being single is a choice for you, because you quit after you didn't like the drama and stress.
An actual incel is someone who doesn't have a choice.
Technically it is, because I'm sure you can find SOMEONE to go out with you. Most people will normally wait for someone they actually like when they're single
It's a choice if you're a girl; it's not a choice if you're a guy.
why so?
@Safa_Malfoy Because it's far, far easier in this life for a girl to get attention from boys than it is for a boy to get attention from girls. Like, we don't get attention. Ever.
I mean, men tend to get less attention because they’re typically expected to make the first move.
Yes, precisely my point-- why is that what's expected? Bear in mind, I'm not complaining about it one way or the other, but, why is that what's expected?
Well people are initially single lol so that is wrong. Being single might be a choice, but really if you are dating so many people that you can't remember being single, then you have a problem maybe.
I just don't wanna date right now, if I wanted I probably wouldn't be single since I have some guys interest in me where I live.
Sometimes, it is. I am not single by choice and unlike people say, there is not someone for everyone.
For men, being single isn’t a choice. It’s not uncommon to meet older men who have never had a girlfriend.
I personally just don’t enjoy dating. I like to skip into the relationship part, if that were even possible.
I think for some people that is a choice and for some people they just have a hard time finding someone so it turns out not to be a choice
I am not single at the time. It not a. Choice it but I stop dating guys in college since leave me or cheat on me.
"I encounter individuals that are single and looking to meet the right person, however, cannot find a good match."
Hmmm... is it possible that they have an unrealistic sense of what constitutes a 'good match'?
I doubt that’s the case. Guys don’t seem to like me either. So I don’t pursue it any further too.
Unrealistic expectations destroy more opportunities than anything else.
It is a choice. Anyone can find someone.. the only question is, "Are you ready to settle?"
I suppose this is true, assuming someone has absolutely zero standards whatsoever.
Let's assume a straight guy wants to marry a girl someday. Most guys are visual it seems when it comes to picking a girl. Sure, a guy can find a woman to marry-but the catch is, it will more than likely be a woman who is conventionally ugly (meaning a woman who is WIDELY considered unattractive).
I'm sure most of us can handle dating a girl who is a 6/10 on the "looks scale", or even a 4ish/10, but what about the girls who are a 1/10? Or even something like...0.5/10? I mean the BOTTOM of the barrel? I'm not picky at all, but there are SOME limits.
@EnglishArtsteacher Again, by placing limits and adhering to subjective rating scales , that is making a choice. Justify it however you wish. It is choosing to be single versus settling for whatever you can get for the sake of not being single.
And this trap is actually quite funny to observe. Your response is typical male. Have a woman phrase it the same way, and she is seen as being "too picky" or "shallow". Dudes have no problem living this way, but get totally bent when a woman they are interested in that is more attractive than them rejects them for this very same reason.
The people who claim the loudest that it is a choice are the ones who did NOT choose it, but they are trying to salve their own hurt little selves by saying they did. The people who did choose it have no need to proclaim they chose it.
People are single by choice, but the decision is made by someone else.
Don't listen to those sayings. They are mostly untrue and invalid.
Try EMDR therapy. It's all discussed in the book "Getting past your past."
It's a lifesaver.
For many people it's a choice. For many it isn't. Depends on the circumstance.
Not sure what you mean. It can be a choice or it can't.
I don't want to get married, don't want kids, don't want a relationship. I met a lovely girl a few months ago and weighed up all of the pro's and con's... still decided on being single. It's a choice.