(By school I mean high school, I’m writing this take with an audience of ages 13-18 in mind)
Seniors and freshmen should NEVER date
This one is really important to me. I’ve seen people defend this and somehow try to make it seem okay? It’s really not? A freshman is 13/14/15 years old. A senior is 17/18. That’s a two year difference, minimum, which does not matter much when you’re an adult. But if you’re a teenager going through puberty, every year comes with a great amount of change. I still remember how dumb I was a year ago, how much I’ve changed. You are not an adult yet, so there are certain “restrictions”.
If you are a senior and want to date a freshman, you need to think about why (and why you shouldn’t). Chances are it’s because a freshman is naive in certain areas you’re not. They are easy to manipulate and use (often for sex). That’s also why if you’re a freshman, you need to watch out and be careful. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Dating someone older might SEEM cool, but you’re really not on their level of thinking yet. They will want to do things you aren’t comfortable with, and you’ll have difficulty expressing your feelings because you’re probably pretty insecure and not accustomed to more serious relationships.
PDA should be kept at a minimum
A peck on the cheek or even mouth is totally fine. A nice hug occasionally or a small gaze too. However, too often I see couples eating each other in the hallways, pretending they’re in the fucking notebook. Pressed up against lockers or stairs...
Also, if you keep it at a mimimum outside, kissing in their bedroom or in another private spot will seem much more fun. The teachers and other students will surely appreciate not seeing it too.
Realise this is not very serious.
Dating at this age is often for short term only. You need to keep this in mind when you’re in a relationship. Don’t expect to marry this person, instead, don’t be afraid to judge harshly. What i mean by that is you should use this time to find out what you value in someone. It might be a simple blend now, but by dating and thinking hard about these things you’ll figure out what you want and seek. I found out through experience I really value loyalty. And I also value intelligence and humour. I found out a certain age range I get along with better et cetera et cetera. High school is a time of finding things out, including relationship related stuff (unless you don’t want to be in relationships, that’s a-okay too!)
Allow yourself to indulge in it, though.
However, also allow yourself to fully relish in your relationship while it still lasts. Because school dating is usually so short, you have a short time to enjoy it. Be sure to feel comfortable, let things naturally evolve and get closer, even though things might end soon.
Don’t romanticize it too much.
Dating in high school isn’t like some teen drama. It’ll most likely be hella awkward and new, and that’s okay. That’s a step towards adult dating. Relish in the awkwardness instead, don’t try and act out a scene of a movie.
But also do not feel obligated to date.
Dating is NOT a necessity. If you do not feel like you should date, want to date or whatever, don’t. Even if people try to make you feel less worthy. You are your own person, you do not need “your other half”, there is no such thing.
There, I wrote some helpful things, I hope. I’d love to hear your tips, opinions and stories!