Do Better Looking People Have More Success With Dating?

Do Better Looking People Have More Success With Dating?


Okay, probably everyone is going to look at me as if I’m a total ditz and re-in state that attractive people clearly have many suitors. We see a cute guy or gal at a coffee shop and don’t make a move out of shyness or presumption that they’re already taken. That has been the case for me. I’m too reserved to show interest but I end up finding out they’re already in a relationship (not directly from them but overhearing a conversation).


I attempt to not let the dating scene interfere with my confidence and overall self esteem but I cannot help it. I’ve always been insecure and it has only worsened in knowing that guys don’t have an interest in me. I have conversed with a few individuals that threw compliments towards my physical appearance and follow by asking my relationship status. I don’t take these compliments too seriously because beauty is the eye of the beholder. Even when I was heavier I was complimented. I always figured being the smaller size I am now would result in more potential dates. As you can guess from this My Take, that has not been my reality.


I’ve encountered numerous individuals: from slim to heavy, tall to short, light to dark, brown hair to blonde hair, all types of extremes and each of them have a different story. Women I considered to be pretty were perpetually single too and men I did not find attractive always had a girlfriend.


While I’m envious of those aesthetically appealing couples, I do not believe they ALWAYS have it easier. Look at celebrities. They’re famous generally due to their talents and well-rounded outer appearance. There seems to be very few couples in the limelight that have made their marriages and relationships work long-term. And while I don’t want to jump to conclusions with celebrities because only so much of their personal life is exposed, I wouldn’t say they are always dealt the best of hands in dating.


I can name a few famous women that seem to have pretty bad luck in love: Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Drew Barrymore, Mariah Carey, etc. Those are a few off the top of my head.


At the end of the day, I’d like to believe that life can suck and there are no guarantees so we have to make the best with the cards we were dealt, regardless of physical appearance.


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Most Helpful Guys

  • The thing that you're not looking at, and that explains the *apparent* difficulty the "beautiful" people have when dating, is that humans practice what is called "assortative mating."

    What this means is that those beautiful, rich women you mentioned Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Drew Barrymore, Mariah Carey, almost always demand guys in their "league." Due to our human tendency to mate assortively, they *make* it more difficult for themselves. The same applies to guys. Brad Pitt didn't pursue *you* he pursued Aniston and Julie. Women who were "worthy" of him. This made dating harder for him, just as Jolie's and Aniston's decisions made dating harder for them.

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    • But, while most celebrities are attractive (RIP Ernest Borgnine), the vast majority of attractive people aren't celebrities. Brad Pitt probably wouldn't pursue an attractive nobody either.

    • @zagor

      Assortive mating is not restricted to celebrities, and it takes ALL factor into consideration, not ONLY looks, although looks is a big part of it.

  • They certainly have options. This could also be viewed negatively, in dating terms; because, there will always be another option, for those guys. They can easily start a revolving door of sorts.

    As I recall, being average looking was ideal for dating.

    There's also a difference between men and women here, because women place less emphasis on physical appearance and more on other qualities. More, a woman's idea of whether or not a man is attractive or not can actively change, depending on her feelings towards him. That doesn't happen with men. Either a woman is attractive, or she isn't. There is no changing it. Beyond changing her appearance. Feelings change nothing. She's hot, or she isn't.

    As for your insecurity, you should be aware that beauty is *not* so much in the eye of the beholder. Humans are typically attracted to the same qualities. Symmetry, namely. This is more true with men than women, because women's ideas of what kind of men are attractive are much different. Men are attracted to 80% of women. Some more than others, yes. But 80% of women meet the baseline requirement.

    Life does suck. And there are no guarantees. If you were to ask me, I would say that our understanding of human relationships is flawed. We try so desperately to make 1-on-1 relationships last forever. So why do they so often fail? Because humans instinctually jump from one person to the next. We are classified as "serial monogamists." Staying with one partner forever is not natural, to us.

    The mid-brain and the lower brain seek characteristics outside of monogamy. The frontal lobe seeks pure monogamy. Without understanding this internal conflict, monogamy is highly likely to fail, either in breaking up or in perpetual unhappiness.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • yes. i’ve been called beautiful by everyone. i came out of the gym and this one lady asked for directions and added “wow you're so beautiful “ and im like thanks hahah. i get followed by guys... i dont lead them on or anything i’m a bit shy. theyre just friends. even though all of this happens to me i have never been in a relationship. ever. i’m 19. im just waiting for the one. i am not super shy but its just intimateing... i get intimidated when people stare at me at the mall for example.

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    • so no, looks dont define successful daiting... i am proof. I've seen unattractive (by society’s standards of course) people in relationships and i would wonder why i , being called beautiful by many people, have not met the right person that clicks with me.!

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    • i hope i meet the right person one day...

    • lowkey feel like crying now thanks hahaah 😆😆😆😂💕

  • Even when you are hot you get the wrong kind of guys approaching you or most guys don't have the guts. The wrong kind of guys who look at you and think, "You are hot. I want to use you for sex." I see guys check me out all the time. Show obvious interest but are too afraid. The guys who have nothing to lose usually always approach me. It's rare to find two attractive people dating. The hot chicks settle for average dudes because they were the only ones who tried.

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    • www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-normal(c).gif

      Are the hot chicks who settle for average dudes happy in their relationships? Are they genuinely sexually attracted to these men that they are with?

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    • Disgusted? Her personality? Looks?

    • She's really good looking but she is very shy so she doesn't talk much. We've been friends for 12 years and she's not the damsel in distress submissive kind of girl.

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What Guys Said 53

  • I've been told to be good looking by numerous people, but have struggled with dating and that's because of social anxiety. So that's false at least for a guy. It's easier, but an extroverted, sociable average looking dude can do better than a good looking, but shy guy. I have the personality to attract though, so I'm not like a person that doesn't have much personality. Many people who don't know me real well would be suprised tht I have any social anxiety, because if you're around me.

    I may be quiet at times, but I'm often throwing in witty, funny comments, flirting with girls, teasing, charming and can entertain a room if I'm comfortabel and in a zone as I like to call it. I can work the room like nobodies business. But social anxiety sucks, it sucks being your own worst enemy. It feels like the only place to meet women is bars, and that's my kryptonite, that's really hard to approach women there with social anxiety. It sucks because it's like a talented baseball player, but who doesn't get too many homeruns but has the talent to. But it's because he has sucha damn difficult time stepping up to the plate and swinging. And I know it's not a big deal and give myself a hard time about it, yet I keep holding off from approaching more

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  • It's no secret that I have gone out with very attractive people. I also worked as a photographer for models. I can tell you they do not have it easier.
    Just as you do people assume that the attractive person is taken. It's not always the case. One model I knew would say she was taken, just to keep the ass holes away. The few decent guys that had the courage to talk to her would find out she wasn't taken. Sometimes they assumed I was going out with her. Girls assumed I was with her. Nope, just friends hanging out. If you talked to us, you would have found out, just ask, "how do you two know each other?"

    Another thing to take into account. Those who act, and models, have a different type of life. For actors, the person dating them needs to be okay with them kissing, and doing love scenes with other people. They are going to have fans, and untrue crap on the internet. If they can't handle that, it's never going to work. Both actors and models are going to be away for extended periods. They travel, and go to professional sponsored parties. You have to be able to handle those times apart, and their attending functions.
    They don't have it easy. It takes a strong willed person to stick with them.

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    • "One model I knew would say she was taken, just to keep the ass holes away. The few decent guys that had the courage to talk to her would find out she wasn't taken."
      That literally means she has it easy, you buffoon.

      "Another thing to take into account. Those who act, and models, have a different type of life. For actors, the person dating them needs to be okay with them kissing, and doing love scenes with other people. They are going to have fans, and untrue crap on the internet. If they can't handle that, it's never going to work. Both actors and models are going to be away for extended periods. They travel, and go to professional sponsored parties. You have to be able to handle those times apart, and their attending functions."
      Most people can't get a fucking date in the first place. You are so full of shit that I could light the methane on fire.

  • "I’d like to believe that life can suck and there are no guarantees so we have to make the best with the cards we were dealt, regardless of physical appearance. "

    Well not really. We get to determine our own reality by the choices we make, what we tell our subconscious. If you think you can't then you can't - if you think you can then more than likely you can.

    The constant preoccupation with and comparing to celebrities is a giant fail, for a lot of reasons.

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  • We're all human and we all have the basic bullshit issues every other human has. Finding the right person isn't necessarily about how attractive we are or not, to me it's more about, being in the right frame of mind for said person and visa versa, as well as circumstance and timing.

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    • So true. Lot of good people go through shit these day. I would said go suck other people just move darm on with look.

  • I'm a red head male , I keep myself fit and I'm pretty down to earth , high income earner and I can't get a ducking date , yet I know over weight guys with more tanned skin yet they can get dates easily. So back to your question yes it does

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    • You tried sunbeds? Just asking. I'm pretty white myself (though not ginger), and it works wonders on my appearance.

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    • Sorry to hear that, that's sad.

    • @Benedek38 thanks , but yeah I look into different hair styles and better clothing , I need to go to a proper barber

  • Superficially, they may have an easier time getting the date, but how many of there "pretty people" do you read abut breaking up, getting divorces, a couple of years- it not months- after they hooked up? Once the gloss of the superficial has been stripped away, what do they have underneath - in their hearts- that they can offer others?

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  • Maybe for most other attractive people, but I've only dated one person in my life so far. I'm tall, athletic, and generally considered to be attractive, but I'm too anxious to approach people so I'm lacking significant experience.

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  • I don't think so. Being attractive is like the real-life equivalent of a click bait. I think attractive people have an easier time getting someone's number and setting up a date, but I think many realize they were lured in only by looks and lose interest quickly if they seek a serious relationship.
    Attractive people have more chances, but not especially more success.

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  • It depends how you define dating success. Like I have a friend who's movie star handsome and is successful at dating and getting dates from a lot of beautiful women but he can never keep them. It's the same with a lot of very attractive women who can't keep a good man, the reason is they have nothing to offer but their looks.

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  • Of course it is easier if you are good looking. Everything in life is easier if you are good looking.

    To quote a line from the TV show Seinfeld - "you never see any handsome homeless."

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  • Sorry didn't rest the description
    But I'd say no, actually the opposite, people think they are out of their league, most girls I tried to date would never take that step for no apparent reason 😒😒
    Well I hope it is just me, I consider myself good looking by the way

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  • As far as the amount of people they date, yes. The more attractive you are the more options you are going to have. Now, if you said relationships, that's a different story.

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  • They certainly have far more options , especially if female. A surprising amount of conventionally good looking men are dateless , men have to bring a lot more to the table than just looks. Don't beat yourself up , ignore the BS " media " ... it just feeds insecurity !!

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  • Getting a date and interest and having a successful relationship out of it are two very different things. We pick who to ask on a date based on physical appearance and we value personality clicking far more for a relationship.

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  • Yes. People don't look for flaws in attractive people to justify not going out with them. They won't even care to find out anything really...

    This is why you hear so many horror stories about the guy who mistreated his girlfriend or the "psycho-bitch" who ruined a guy's life.

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  • of course it does when it comes to looks then YES huge yes
    u cannot make a first impression twice and every people judge other people by their looks , untill they get to know you

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  • By default, yes... with two people with the exact same personality and interests, the better looking one will have more success.

    But in general, personality and confidence is much more important when it comes to dating.

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  • No, they don't. They have more people approaching them, but it takes more than looks to maintain a long relationship.

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  • Too many people judge others by appearance first and they never get to see the inner beauty of that person because of not giving them a chance. Reason being, they don't meet their standards of outward beauty.

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  • HAH! Not at all. Good looks don't mean shit in dating. I've realized that there's a line. Everybody is looking for "hot enough that they turn me on, but not hot enough that they could totally cheat on me with someone hotter."

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What Girls Said 22

  • The bible says the flesh profits nothing. Which means there is no benefit in being good looking.

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  • I don't think so the older I get the more I truly start to believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We all have different things we find attractive. Ryan Gossling for example is heralded as a Hollywood hunk and girls wax poetically about how good looking they think he is. But as a Canadian I will forever see him as the nerdy kid from Breaker High. I don't think he's ugly but I don't think he's hot in any way shape or form. Women go nuts over Channing Tatum and I can't for the life of me figure out why. My friends don't get my love of Robert Downey Jr. And Benedict Cumberbatch has legions of fans in love with him but no one can say he's conventionally attractive. I myself just had an experience of being head over heels for a guy I met who my entire attraction was based off of his charm because he's not my type normally. One of my friends didn't get my attraction to him because she was basing it off of looks. Then a week later when she had more interaction with him she's like I get it now. Now she thinks he's hot too.

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  • I've been told often how attractive I am and receive complements a lot (which I do believe are true) but I've struggled dating as well as trying to find someone who is a good fit for me. I just turned 23 and have never been in a real relationship because of this.

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  • Better Looking People dont Have necessarily More Success With Dating just cause they are pretty
    looks aren't everything
    you may have more chance for flings, that is true, but not quality relationships since you also as everyone gotta find someone attractive to you who matches your personality as well

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  • They're all gorgeous women but without the makeup, they look quite ordinary. I think what makes them stand out is their facial features and body. Attractive people can get more dates but that doesn't mean they'll be considered relationship material.

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  • Mmm I would wager more success getting attention :) but can they still have awful luck once they find a partner.

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  • Do Better Looking People Have More Success With Dating? Most certainly, I think so.

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  • just thought id stop in and say i love blake lively so pretty ok bye

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  • Yes. People are more likely to approach you if you are attractive.

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  • no some people are not blessed in the looks department and they have more success in dating because they have that thing lets call it the IT factor they become attractive to the opposite sex

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  • That's not been my experience.. the best looking people always had dates or were in a relationship, unless they actively refused to date.

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  • No if anything it's extremely difficult for a number of reasons.

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  • When I was in highschool I was really popular having puberty set in all of a sudden. However, I didn't get a lot of date requests but I did get secret love letters that were anonymous. I just graduated university now and I was chatting up a guy from my class who said that all of his friends liked me but they never thought of asking me or talking to me because they thought that there was no way I'd talk to them. I do believe this happens with most attractive people. I don't believe I was a bombshell but I definitely thought I looked like a sack of onions because no guys ever talked to email and I was the last of my friends to get a boyfriend and lo- he was online.

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  • I think yes, it's a kind of psychological thing, as we unconsciously trust beautiful people

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  • Yes and no

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  • I'm going to have to agree they do.

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  • Yeah.

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  • Attractive people have it easy :/

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  • Absolutly yes

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  • Great job

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