Do Better Looking People Have More Success With Dating?

[Anonymous]

Okay, probably everyone is going to look at me as if I’m a total ditz and re-in state that attractive people clearly have many suitors. We see a cute guy or gal at a coffee shop and don’t make a move out of shyness or presumption that they’re already taken. That has been the case for me. I’m too reserved to show interest but I end up finding out they’re already in a relationship (not directly from them but overhearing a conversation).

I attempt to not let the dating scene interfere with my confidence and overall self esteem but I cannot help it. I’ve always been insecure and it has only worsened in knowing that guys don’t have an interest in me. I have conversed with a few individuals that threw compliments towards my physical appearance and follow by asking my relationship status. I don’t take these compliments too seriously because beauty is the eye of the beholder. Even when I was heavier I was complimented. I always figured being the smaller size I am now would result in more potential dates. As you can guess from this My Take, that has not been my reality.

I’ve encountered numerous individuals: from slim to heavy, tall to short, light to dark, brown hair to blonde hair, all types of extremes and each of them have a different story. Women I considered to be pretty were perpetually single too and men I did not find attractive always had a girlfriend.

While I’m envious of those aesthetically appealing couples, I do not believe they ALWAYS have it easier. Look at celebrities. They’re famous generally due to their talents and well-rounded outer appearance. There seems to be very few couples in the limelight that have made their marriages and relationships work long-term. And while I don’t want to jump to conclusions with celebrities because only so much of their personal life is exposed, I wouldn’t say they are always dealt the best of hands in dating.

I can name a few famous women that seem to have pretty bad luck in love: Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Drew Barrymore, Mariah Carey, etc. Those are a few off the top of my head.

At the end of the day, I’d like to believe that life can suck and there are no guarantees so we have to make the best with the cards we were dealt, regardless of physical appearance.

[ChurchOfIron]

They certainly have options. This could also be viewed negatively, in dating terms; because, there will always be another option, for those guys. They can easily start a revolving door of sorts.

As I recall, being average looking was ideal for dating.

There's also a difference between men and women here, because women place less emphasis on physical appearance and more on other qualities. More, a woman's idea of whether or not a man is attractive or not can actively change, depending on her feelings towards him. That doesn't happen with men. Either a woman is attractive, or she isn't. There is no changing it. Beyond changing her appearance. Feelings change nothing. She's hot, or she isn't.

As for your insecurity, you should be aware that beauty is *not* so much in the eye of the beholder. Humans are typically attracted to the same qualities. Symmetry, namely. This is more true with men than women, because women's ideas of what kind of men are attractive are much different. Men are attracted to 80% of women. Some more than others, yes. But 80% of women meet the baseline requirement.

Life does suck. And there are no guarantees. If you were to ask me, I would say that our understanding of human relationships is flawed. We try so desperately to make 1-on-1 relationships last forever. So why do they so often fail? Because humans instinctually jump from one person to the next. We are classified as "serial monogamists." Staying with one partner forever is not natural, to us.

The mid-brain and the lower brain seek characteristics outside of monogamy. The frontal lobe seeks pure monogamy. Without understanding this internal conflict, monogamy is highly likely to fail, either in breaking up or in perpetual unhappiness.

[Intraluminal]

The thing that you're not looking at, and that explains the *apparent* difficulty the "beautiful" people have when dating, is that humans practice what is called "assortative mating."

What this means is that those beautiful, rich women you mentioned Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Drew Barrymore, Mariah Carey, almost always demand guys in their "league." Due to our human tendency to mate assortively, they *make* it more difficult for themselves. The same applies to guys. Brad Pitt didn't pursue *you* he pursued Aniston and Julie. Women who were "worthy" of him. This made dating harder for him, just as Jolie's and Aniston's decisions made dating harder for them.

[zagor]

But, while most celebrities are attractive (RIP Ernest Borgnine), the vast majority of attractive people aren't celebrities. Brad Pitt probably wouldn't pursue an attractive nobody either.

[Intraluminal]

@zagor

Assortive mating is not restricted to celebrities, and it takes ALL factor into consideration, not ONLY looks, although looks is a big part of it.

[Anonymous]

yes. i’ve been called beautiful by everyone. i came out of the gym and this one lady asked for directions and added “wow you're so beautiful “ and im like thanks hahah. i get followed by guys... i dont lead them on or anything i’m a bit shy. theyre just friends. even though all of this happens to me i have never been in a relationship. ever. i’m 19. im just waiting for the one. i am not super shy but its just intimateing... i get intimidated when people stare at me at the mall for example.

[Opinion Owner]

so no, looks dont define successful daiting... i am proof. I've seen unattractive (by society’s standards of course) people in relationships and i would wonder why i , being called beautiful by many people, have not met the right person that clicks with me.!

[Opinion Owner]

I've only loved someone once... broke my heart. he’d stare at me from afar (like all 7 guys that liked me throughout high school) and i told him how i felt anf i was REJECTED. Me. ... yeaaaaaah

[Opinion Owner]

sorry for spelling errors... i just woke up :)

[Opinion Owner]

and* intimidating *

[myTake Owner]

Yeah. Seems as if you’ve attracted emotionally unavailable guys that want to have fun and move on. Those guys I’m guessing were probably attractive considering how you make yourself sound beautiful.

[Opinion Owner]

they were all types... and yeah that loving yourself was a long process. i feel beautiful now but i still want to find love somewhere. sigh... i have bad fortune in love... all i get is guys starring at me but never anything else. i even get guys approaching me at the mall haha. its actually uncomfortable tbh. only once was a guy ever gonna confess his feels for me and he was about to say something then he just left me there lol

[Opinion Owner]

i hope i meet the right person one day...

[Opinion Owner]

lowkey feel like crying now thanks hahaah 😆😆😆😂💕

[Blunique]

Even when you are hot you get the wrong kind of guys approaching you or most guys don't have the guts. The wrong kind of guys who look at you and think, "You are hot. I want to use you for sex." I see guys check me out all the time. Show obvious interest but are too afraid. The guys who have nothing to lose usually always approach me. It's rare to find two attractive people dating. The hot chicks settle for average dudes because they were the only ones who tried.

[UnknownXYZ]

www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-normal(c).gif

Are the hot chicks who settle for average dudes happy in their relationships? Are they genuinely sexually attracted to these men that they are with?

[Blunique]

@UnknownXYZ I wouldn't know. I've never personally done it and I never asked. Some of them seem happy with the guy though.

[Blunique]

@UnknownXYZ My friend is really pretty, she dated this guy she met at work. She said he had an ugly face but he worked out and he had a nice body. So that's the only reason why she dated him. I remember her saying they literally had nothing in common but they would make out. They never actually got to have sex though. Eventually she said he disgusted her and she couldn't be around him anymore so she dumped him.

[myTake Owner]

Disgusted? Her personality? Looks?

[Blunique]

She's really good looking but she is very shy so she doesn't talk much. We've been friends for 12 years and she's not the damsel in distress submissive kind of girl.

[jennifer_bloom]

The bible says the flesh profits nothing. Which means there is no benefit in being good looking.

[Guguismyname]

If you were in my country then bible is invalid.

[brennanhuff]

I've been told to be good looking by numerous people, but have struggled with dating and that's because of social anxiety. So that's false at least for a guy. It's easier, but an extroverted, sociable average looking dude can do better than a good looking, but shy guy. I have the personality to attract though, so I'm not like a person that doesn't have much personality. Many people who don't know me real well would be suprised tht I have any social anxiety, because if you're around me.

I may be quiet at times, but I'm often throwing in witty, funny comments, flirting with girls, teasing, charming and can entertain a room if I'm comfortabel and in a zone as I like to call it. I can work the room like nobodies business. But social anxiety sucks, it sucks being your own worst enemy. It feels like the only place to meet women is bars, and that's my kryptonite, that's really hard to approach women there with social anxiety. It sucks because it's like a talented baseball player, but who doesn't get too many homeruns but has the talent to. But it's because he has sucha damn difficult time stepping up to the plate and swinging. And I know it's not a big deal and give myself a hard time about it, yet I keep holding off from approaching more

[Massageman]

I can agree with that.

[coralee]

I don't think so the older I get the more I truly start to believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We all have different things we find attractive. Ryan Gossling for example is heralded as a Hollywood hunk and girls wax poetically about how good looking they think he is. But as a Canadian I will forever see him as the nerdy kid from Breaker High. I don't think he's ugly but I don't think he's hot in any way shape or form. Women go nuts over Channing Tatum and I can't for the life of me figure out why. My friends don't get my love of Robert Downey Jr. And Benedict Cumberbatch has legions of fans in love with him but no one can say he's conventionally attractive. I myself just had an experience of being head over heels for a guy I met who my entire attraction was based off of his charm because he's not my type normally. One of my friends didn't get my attraction to him because she was basing it off of looks. Then a week later when she had more interaction with him she's like I get it now. Now she thinks he's hot too.

[Knighted2170]

It's no secret that I have gone out with very attractive people. I also worked as a photographer for models. I can tell you they do not have it easier.
Just as you do people assume that the attractive person is taken. It's not always the case. One model I knew would say she was taken, just to keep the ass holes away. The few decent guys that had the courage to talk to her would find out she wasn't taken. Sometimes they assumed I was going out with her. Girls assumed I was with her. Nope, just friends hanging out. If you talked to us, you would have found out, just ask, "how do you two know each other?"

Another thing to take into account. Those who act, and models, have a different type of life. For actors, the person dating them needs to be okay with them kissing, and doing love scenes with other people. They are going to have fans, and untrue crap on the internet. If they can't handle that, it's never going to work. Both actors and models are going to be away for extended periods. They travel, and go to professional sponsored parties. You have to be able to handle those times apart, and their attending functions.
They don't have it easy. It takes a strong willed person to stick with them.

[Benedek38]

"One model I knew would say she was taken, just to keep the ass holes away. The few decent guys that had the courage to talk to her would find out she wasn't taken."
That literally means she has it easy, you buffoon.

"Another thing to take into account. Those who act, and models, have a different type of life. For actors, the person dating them needs to be okay with them kissing, and doing love scenes with other people. They are going to have fans, and untrue crap on the internet. If they can't handle that, it's never going to work. Both actors and models are going to be away for extended periods. They travel, and go to professional sponsored parties. You have to be able to handle those times apart, and their attending functions."
Most people can't get a fucking date in the first place. You are so full of shit that I could light the methane on fire.

[Knighted2170]

@Benedek38 Sure, okay.

[Anonymous]

Generalizing here but...

1. I think if you are already considered an attractive person, the only advantage you have is that you initially don't have to try as hard to attract the opposite sex; they are more likely to come to you or pick your profile online, etc. However, if you are interested in something more than just a hook-up, people tend to perceive someone that good looking as only wanting one thing, so it may be harder to maintain a relationship or they may be so cocky themselves that they destroy a good thing because they know they can easily move on to the next.

2. If you are considered an unattractive person, you must work probably 3, 4, 5 times as hard and for fewer options to get someone to give you that first look and a chance, but I also think because that person knows this, they compensate with other personality traits and will probably work harder to keep a good relationship than someone who is attractive. They may have more long term dating success and even marry because they don't want to go anywhere or break up or treat this person badly because dating is something that is harder for them, so you meet the one, and they are the one forever, or until further notice.

[Mikaychay95]

I've been told often how attractive I am and receive complements a lot (which I do believe are true) but I've struggled dating as well as trying to find someone who is a good fit for me. I just turned 23 and have never been in a real relationship because of this.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I've done experiments on this via dating aps.

I'm an average to above average guy and I usually rack up about 300 matches in a few weeks (if I don't delete anyone) on Tinder. However, when I talk to women, they usually flake of the convo sucks.

However, I once created an account as a super attractive guy and I got over 400 matches in under an hour, I had the same convos that I was having as my regular account, but the women were more receptive, I usually got to them to want to have sex with "me" in just a few messages. I even proposed 3sums to a lot of the girls and they were all down. I couldn't even get any of that on my regular account.

[JustWorthlessMe]

if you posed as an ugly, fat woman, you'd get hundreds. If you posed as an average guy, you'd get very few

[Nyuna]

When I was in highschool I was really popular having puberty set in all of a sudden. However, I didn't get a lot of date requests but I did get secret love letters that were anonymous. I just graduated university now and I was chatting up a guy from my class who said that all of his friends liked me but they never thought of asking me or talking to me because they thought that there was no way I'd talk to them. I do believe this happens with most attractive people. I don't believe I was a bombshell but I definitely thought I looked like a sack of onions because no guys ever talked to email and I was the last of my friends to get a boyfriend and lo- he was online.

[pavlove]

Yeah, it depends on how you define success. Looks are like money that way (although seems to be more important for one gender over the other.) When you're good looking your problems are different. you tend to date other good looking but often superficial and self centered people while average looking people tend to date other average looking people but often dont have to deal with such bad character issues. obviously i'm generalizing a lot but just stating what the norm is most of the time and likening it to how rich people are obviously rich compared to average income but still have to deal with other rich people who have issues a lot

its just really important to nail down what you mean by success with dating

[Anonymous]

Having good looks just gets you the initial attention, it does not bring attraction og a connection, that you can thank you and your energy and radiance for. :)

Good look is not everything and definitely not for a long term relationship.

Beyonce is gorgeous and she got cheated on. :’( Looks isn’t everything.

Looks isn’t everything.

Would you rather be with a sexy calvin klein male model that is stupid and treat you poorly or a guy who maybe weigh a few pounds too much, but trwats you well, is intelligent, funny, caring, a real man?

[Oasha]

I don't think so. Being attractive is like the real-life equivalent of a click bait. I think attractive people have an easier time getting someone's number and setting up a date, but I think many realize they were lured in only by looks and lose interest quickly if they seek a serious relationship.
Attractive people have more chances, but not especially more success.

[MrMysteryMan]

We're all human and we all have the basic bullshit issues every other human has. Finding the right person isn't necessarily about how attractive we are or not, to me it's more about, being in the right frame of mind for said person and visa versa, as well as circumstance and timing.

[CandacePerry]

So true. Lot of good people go through shit these day. I would said go suck other people just move darm on with look.

[Browneye57]

"I’d like to believe that life can suck and there are no guarantees so we have to make the best with the cards we were dealt, regardless of physical appearance. "

Well not really. We get to determine our own reality by the choices we make, what we tell our subconscious. If you think you can't then you can't - if you think you can then more than likely you can.

The constant preoccupation with and comparing to celebrities is a giant fail, for a lot of reasons.

[devilish-cutie]

Better Looking People dont Have necessarily More Success With Dating just cause they are pretty
looks aren't everything
you may have more chance for flings, that is true, but not quality relationships since you also as everyone gotta find someone attractive to you who matches your personality as well

[Luke123456]

I'm a red head male , I keep myself fit and I'm pretty down to earth , high income earner and I can't get a ducking date , yet I know over weight guys with more tanned skin yet they can get dates easily. So back to your question yes it does

[Benedek38]

You tried sunbeds? Just asking. I'm pretty white myself (though not ginger), and it works wonders on my appearance.

[somewheresomeway]

@Benedek38 do sunless sprays. Try bleaching or shaving your hair to try something different.

No homo but you got a handsome, masculine face. I think this has to do with your social network and approaching women. I know redhead guys are the bottom of the totem pole (I’m part redhead myself) when it comes to first impressions. But your other assets weigh outweigh that.

[Benedek38]

@somewheresomeway Just saying, tagged the wrong guy. But I totally agree. Also, ginger hair is a con. Ginger BEARD... Now that's another thing. He's got that anvil shaped face - a jawline that you can use to hammer nailson. If he shaves his hair short, and grows a light beard, he'd look good. I mean, Prince Harry could sort of pull it off fine.

[somewheresomeway]

@Benedek38 whoops on the tag lol. Yeah this guy likely has confidence issues.

I read a staggering statistic that over 90 percent of redheaded guys have been bullied (British documentary called “red”). Given that it’s not socially acceptable to bully gay people, minorities, overweight people, etc this makes sense. Society consideres that discrimation fair game.

Anyway this guy has some potential given some other characteristics he has. He could look tormund from game of thrones.

Keep hitting the gym buddy and experiment with some haircuts. Also get some nice clothes.

[Luke123456]

@Benedek38 can't do sun beds my dad passed away from skin cancer so probs not the best option

[Luke123456]

@somewheresomeway haha thanks when I was in Europe I find it a lot easier to speak to girls but Australian women I find very difficult , and find most Western European women ( background ) usually prefer the Mediterranean look :/

[Benedek38]

Sorry to hear that, that's sad.

[Luke123456]

@Benedek38 thanks , but yeah I look into different hair styles and better clothing , I need to go to a proper barber

[WhitePanther88]

It depends how you define dating success. Like I have a friend who's movie star handsome and is successful at dating and getting dates from a lot of beautiful women but he can never keep them. It's the same with a lot of very attractive women who can't keep a good man, the reason is they have nothing to offer but their looks.

[Kingkennys]

you seem bitter.

[WhitePanther88]

@Kingkennys... about?

[Kingkennys]

good looking people habib2g advantages

[WhitePanther88]

@Kingkennys advantages of what? Unless your a woman being pretty doesn't get you far.

[Kingkennys]

it does in dating terms. stop being bitter and live

[WhitePanther88]

@Kingkennys dude I'm married. I've already succeeded at dating an I'm considered quite handsome. If women were just intrested in pretty they'd date women instead.

[Kingkennys]

not rrue. you're bitter lol.

[Kingkennys]

the good looking have advantages get over it.

[WhitePanther88]

@Kingkennys what are those good advantage?

[Kingkennys]

if you're as smart as you purport, then you would know.

[Massageman]

Superficially, they may have an easier time getting the date, but how many of there "pretty people" do you read abut breaking up, getting divorces, a couple of years- it not months- after they hooked up? Once the gloss of the superficial has been stripped away, what do they have underneath - in their hearts- that they can offer others?

[FatherJack]

They certainly have far more options , especially if female. A surprising amount of conventionally good looking men are dateless , men have to bring a lot more to the table than just looks. Don't beat yourself up , ignore the BS " media " ... it just feeds insecurity !!

[AbdKilani]

Sorry didn't rest the description
But I'd say no, actually the opposite, people think they are out of their league, most girls I tried to date would never take that step for no apparent reason 😒😒
Well I hope it is just me, I consider myself good looking by the way

[AbdKilani]

Didn't read * the description

[Lance1965]

Of course it is easier if you are good looking. Everything in life is easier if you are good looking.

To quote a line from the TV show Seinfeld - "you never see any handsome homeless."

[apple24]

Hahaha