Question traditions. My Idea on gender equality and dating!

Hey,

because i always get these kind questions here i wanna write about what i think is the real problem behind this.

Ok, so the base line is that i get to hear so many people (girls and guys, but mostly girls) " I am "better"(in some way) than my crush, thats so awkward!"

We should start thinking!
We should start thinking!

Well, I dont think its awkward at all...the awkward part about it are just our society stereotypes, that say it should be this way.

I think the problem here is a contradiction between social norms and tradition.

If we take a look at tradition, women wouldn't work, they would stay alone home while the husband is working, they were not allowed to go to school or college.

This just changed in the last 150 years, this is a very short time, and we still have these traditions, reinforced by social expectations and the stories like fairytales that we tell our kids. (at least i can't remember a story where the princess saved her knight :D)

On the other hand our modern society looks totally different, take for example the typical part about dates: who pays for the first date? A lot of people say, the guy right? But why? Because this tradition is from a time where girls where not allowed to work, so we had no money in the first place.

Now girls earn as much as guys, and we still have this stereotype, because our society has changed, but our traditions did not. But nobody questions traditions for some reason.

And if i am honest, i think from a financial perspective this is just the beginning, girls make up for over half the college degrees now, numbers still rising. In a couple years we gonna earn more on average than our male counterparts.

And this is why i think society has a big problem. Its just observed as weak, if a men asks for help, or a women is taller, stronger or wealthier than him.Its not the case, its just a tradition that we dont question. But we totally should to that!

I talked to my boyfriend about this, and we came up with an idea, to start solving this problem.

We write a fairytail book! :D


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  • Unfortunatly i love the traditional family and my future wife will become a housewife cause i'll never marry a girl who wants to work after marriage, also i like to be the man of the house, just a typical happy family.

    I'd never accept the norms of today's world, no thanks mam.

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  • It's not a tradition, it's a biological drive.
    Women are wired to be attracted to superior mates to maximize the reproductive potential of the species.

    And since the amount of women wired to fulfill the dominant/parental role is comparatively smaller than the opposite, if the society ever becomes such that women earn more money, the only thing that is going to happen is a lot of unhappy women who will fail finding an ideal partner for themselves, as the pool of men who they will subconsciously perceive as superior to themselves will shrink significantly.

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    • Yes, you are right but this is only this way because of our traditional early age education
      If we tell all little girls, there is gonna be a knight to save you, her role Ideas and stereotypes gonna develop in that direction as well.

      So what we need to do, is teaching this gender equality not only to adults, but starting from early childhood. Because at the moment women expect men to be equal and superior at the same time, one by education and one by tradition.
      What we need to do is setting things right.
      (the drive is not biological, its psychological by early childhood education)

  • Lazy take. Not necessarily the subject matter, but your rehashing of the same thing. Tradition, tradition, tradition!

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    • Well... i hate blind obidience to traditions without thinking about what they mean and result into.

      sorry if my take was a bit harsh, but i really get angry if people just say, it has always been that way, we need to keep doing it, but they have never thought about why they did it in the first place.

      like explain the day of work in germany, where everybody who wants to celebrate it stops working and acts like a hooligan. this is because of a anarchist movement from 50 years ago... they aren't anarchist, but they still do it... for no reason at all. because they dont think about it.

      This is why i hate every tradition that is not explained.

  • People are going to do what they want to in relationships you or anybody else can not change that.

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    • yes, i totally agree with you. But if we teach children another way they will act differently.

      Its like if you tell children all Immigrants are criminals... guess what they will think when they are adults... same goes here. If you dont teach children these traditional rolemodels, they dont feel forced sticking to them.

  • Heh, I honestly would not mind seeing what you both come up with.

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  • interesting thanks for sharing!

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  • 7d

    Okay

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  • Oughh sounds terrible.

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  • Yeah but one thing that still unfortunately remains the same, is the gender role that guys have to make the first move and be the initiator

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  • Interesting ideas

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  • I agree with you to an extent, but the problem is you ignore the genetic realities that drive these things. You're ascribing it all to nurture when in fact nature plays at least as big a role.

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    • Thats exactly the point. People blame nature for it, but nature has nothing to do with it.
      Its all tradition, nothing more, and because we all were raised the same way we all think its basic biology but in truth its not.

      We can't change ourselfs anymore, our psychology is pretty resistant at this point. But if we tell our children different things, they will have a different approach to this topic.

    • No, nature actually does have a great deal to do with it. Yes, nurture does as well, and nurture can help override the forces of nature, but not completely. Ignoring or denying the part nature plays in the matter is a bit ignorant.

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