So you are out and about with your friends on a Friday night and start to flirt with all kinds of people. This may take anywhere from 10-30 minutes before possibly exchanging a phone number. During the interaction you were lucky enough to maybe catch their humor, their wit, their sassiness. Hell, they may have smelled like blueberry pie on a warm spring day. This, my friends, is what is missing with online dating.
This entire interaction just doesn’t happen online. You really don’t have much of a barometer besides photos and words in a profile. Sometimes you can sense the humor...many times not. Do they have a sense of humor? Are they sassy? Do they smell good? Yes, seriously...don’t be creepy. We don’t know any of this until we actually meet up. So I instruct all my clients to do a chemistry meet up. This is a small coffee date that allows this type of interaction to happen. A small date usually will let you know whether or not there is some type of chemistry.
I do not recommend a first online date. Just a small meet-up for coffee is a lot less intimidating and if you don’t like them you can get the hell out of there in a reasonable amount of time. Don’t get stuck in a three-hour date to nowhere. I always recommend a time constraint and schedule for Saturday morning or afternoon. Let them know you have something to attend to at a certain time. This allows you to leave if necessary. You can always have lunch or dinner that night if you are interested and things seem to be going well. Try and make sure there is a good lunch spot nearby in case you do end up hitting it off.
There are several types of dating agencies that use this type of method. I really like the concept of JUST FOR LUNCH or JUST FOR COFFEE or JUST FOR ICE CREAM. Okay, I made the last one up but you get my drift. I highly recommend anything that makes you take action. So many don’t take action because they are afraid of having a horrible night out with someone they don’t know. Do your homework on the person and that includes a short hang out for coffee. Do not skip this short date. No phone calls or amount of charm or comfort you feel should make you decide that this is not necessary. Seriously...don’t do it.
So many clients have asked me if Netflix and Chill is okay for a chemistry meet up. If you are only looking for sex (AKA Netflix and Chill) then okay...go for it. But if you are looking for a serious relationship then Netflix and Chill is code for ‘Run, Forrest run!’. Over-stimulation of online dating has created Netflix and Chill. This has been documented as the one message that most are sending that do not want a relationship. Now, if a beautiful woman asked me over for my first date to get together for Netflix and Chill...I have to be honest...I would say ‘yes’ if we were going to watch the last season of Stranger Things. I am simply not caught up and I do like killing two birds with one stone. Okay, so that was my attempt at being funny but seriously...don’t do it.
If you enjoyed these tips please give me a thumbs up! Leave any comments down below. What do you think of the Chemistry Meetup? Or Online Dating in general in 2020 and beyond.