Confessions of a Ladies Man: When should a woman have sex with a new guy?

[Apope16]

The answer to this question is whenever your feel comfortable and horny enough to want it.

The problem with this question

The problem with this question is that women seem to be using the timing of sex as a way of communicating what type of relationship that they want to have. If you sleep with him too soon will he think that you are a slut? No he will not. Why? Because during the date or prior to having sex you should be having a discussion with the guy about what type of relationship that you are looking for. I typically have that discussion on a dating app or over text message before I even meet the girl. Typically it is very clear that we are either meeting up and the goal is to be fuck buddies or we are meeting up and she is looking to evolve into something real and profound.

This question is Stupid

This question should not even exist. The discussion really should be about how to communicate what you are looking for prior to meeting someone. It shouldn't be about some tally of days or a number of dates to communicate some stupid arbitrary message. If a nice guy knows that you are looking for a relationship, then whether you have sex on date 1 or date 6 it doesn't change a thing. This is because you are going on a date in the first place with the understanding that you both have the same goals.

What about asshole player guys?

Regardless of what you establish with a player he will end up having sex with you anyway. A player is a guy that will lie about what he wants in a relationship. So it is not something you really can avoid by holding off sex for a few dates before having sex. I used to be a ladies man and a player. I can tell you that I would go on dates with girls who were waiting to have sex. The ladies who were playing the waiting game were in my back burner. While waiting to have sex with that type of girl I would also be dating other girls and getting my sexual needs met from them.

So it is stupid to think that by waiting to have sex until date 6 that you are somehow weeding out "players" or that players will move on if you dont sleep with them. That isn't true. A player will stay as long as you want and just date other women and have sex with them while you are THINKING you are making a statement. In reality you are going to get hurt anyway.

[Anonymous]

Best advice ever: go for whatever makes you happy.

[OlderAndWiser]

Everything you said represents your perspective, but there is another person in the equation, and her perspective is quite different from yours. You may believe that you have logical reasons why women approach this issue incorrectly but these decisions are based more on emotion, not logic.

Men, Women, and Sex: We Both Want It...But Not Necessarily at the Same Time!

[Guy13]

No doubt that a player is a player no matter the sex. I am sure lots od people do not appreciate your straightforward honesty.

[Tiffany_Taylor_Made]

No offense to you, but every time I read your questions and myTakes, I wonder if you're truly a "ladies man" because you don't seem to know much of anything about the ladies or even dating in general.

The question of when a woman should have sex with a man is not problematic or stupid, and the existence of the "asshole player type guys" are the very reason this question is important. The reason the question isn't problematic is because plenty of women exist that want long-term relationships with men. However, plenty of men also exist that want to use women strictly for sex. Obviously, when a woman is dating a new guy, she can't tell whether or not the man is a "player" type. Thus, the answer to the question is that she should be ready to have sex with him after she gauges his personality and determines that he is least likely to be a player. While holding off sex after a few dates, a woman should take the time during those dates to learn about the man and determine whether or not he is willing to make some sacrifices to be with her for the long-term rather than instantly jump to having sex. In the beginning, the best way to do this to make him pay for every single date before sex without splitting a single bill. While I'm not saying that this solution is 100% perfect, it's good at determining whether or not the man is in it for the long run, truly loves you, and wants to make something work with you.

In other words, if his unknown intentions are to play her, she should make him work for it and make it cost him big. If he is automatically upset with having to pay for all the initial dates, then he's likely not a good guy and has bad intentions. If he does pay, waits for sex, but still ends up being a player type that used her for sex, then at least the woman doesn't get completely played because he still paid for everything and waited for sex before he revealed his true colors. If he waits for sex, pays for all the dates, and sticks around after finally having sex, then the chances are highly great that he's in it for the long-term. That's why the question of when a woman should have sex is very important and smart because not every woman wants a relationship just for the sex, and determining when to wait gives a good sense of the man's intentions. This provides the woman enough time to avoid men with signs of bad intentions or to prepare for the effects of possible bad intentions. However, if the woman doesn't want a long-term relationship, then this obviously doesn't matter much because, chances are, she's in it for the sex as well. If both parties want to use each other for sex, I see no problem with both parties communicating this with each other and making it happen without the deceit.

[Walt832]

Previously, on the first date. We met in our friends group. We kinda like each other. So on the first date we hang out and go to places. Then at night we hit it. Our relationship only lasted 5 months. Honestly, everything was very well. Until, her parents got in our relationship and she change. That is when I decided to break up, I felt uncomfortable. Her family wanted to go every where we go. I ask her seriously?

Later my friends asked me if I was interested to met her after this years. I said "hell no, that is old, I honestly never go back to my ex's. Once I am done is done".

After her I met a Colombian female gosh she is was nice and beautiful. We hang out for 3 months on dates. Each day we match to the point I hand her my car keys lol she was nervous driving my truck. Dang she look freaky hot and gorgeous. She felt I was trusting her. She felt comfortable. Later she invited me to her apartment. We hit it. Plus we work at the same job. This relationship went 5 months. She left to Colombia. I stayed single once again.

[MrWolf]

Yo little cub how about you stop speaking for us all man out there. I don't remeber asking ya to be the false Preacher.

A woman should have sex when she decides and that's it. You either have sex or don't.

1. No man will admit he is a player nor he will go about spilling the beans.

2. Real mean don't go on social media or anywhere else to brag about anything at all.

3. We man don't like someone spillkng the beans.

4. You are a little cub.

5. The woman decides when to sleep with ya not you. If she is to say no there is nothing you can do or make.

6. This topic is pointless as are you all valid points or whatever.

7. I missed ya little cub 🤣

[Apope16]

I have sex with 1 woman at a time. I date women monogamously. H ok w is that being a player?

[MrWolf]

I don't know you tell me?

Like you think i would believe the thing you said nahh. Doesn't work like that.

[bamesjond0069]

This is completely wrong. This is what beta men think. So if you're dating a beta maybe its good advice. No alpha is going to get serious with a ho. If you have sex quickly (that includes 6 dates is still quick) you will run off most men who have options. BUT here's the shit, if you hookup you can't expect the man you want to wait 6 months. So basically you fucked yourself in the ass if you ever engaged in casual sex.

I am a player and the second a girl fucks me i think "that was easy she's a ho" and i lose interest immediately no matter how much i liked her. Its irrelevant if most girls these days do this, just means im even less likely to commit to you another ho is right around the corner.

[es20490446e]

You only value hard things cause you understand life through suffering.

[bamesjond0069]

@es20490446e i want a girl that is special not one anyone and everyone can get.

[es20490446e]

That's good.

[dtweed1996]

Man that makes sense I always thought of you patiently wait until a woman i s interested, like when me and my girl first met she showed me a picture of her and started telling me about her like she never had love with a guy just quick sex and then they ditched her when they had their fun. Well I had fantasy of sex with her but I did not really talk to her about it and we never really say sex or fuck when we are talking about it we just be saying making love and stuff and we hardly talk about sex not unless the the idea of affection crosses our mind and it does almost always.

[EssenceOfLight]

I've been over years "friend" of a player who used me as lure to expand his options. Girls who sleep with a player are always aware he is one, they do this because they want, they don't really seek a relationship with such guys. I've never heard from girls he dumped after few weeks some complains, I was the next one on their list and I rejected most of them.
Girls who play with players are players by themselves. I can just smirk when I read in fora "he was a player and dumped me after we had sex on sixth date, now I'm heart broken AF." This isn't more than a drama show unless that girl blind and couldn't see obvious things.

[silvermoon84]

Whenever it feels right to her. I personally don’t have sex with a guy right away because I want to see myself being serious about him first, which doesn’t happen right away (for me anyway), but if both parties are down for it right away and they’re both happy more power to them

[Anonymous]

I am going to have sex when i feel like having sex. If its 3 months 6 months 1 year or aftee marriage its when i feel safe and confortable do it, gota problem then leave. These are discussions to be held during the dating phase or when youve decided to be a couple. What is the purpose of the relationship, what are your plans goals for us? Etc.

[Apope16]

Nothing in the take is in opposition to that.

[hi_it_is_me123]

Great take! I personally want to wait till marriage

[Apope16]

Everyone is different. It is based on what you want. So if you want to wait until marriage then that is you. you do you.

[hi_it_is_me123]

How did he delete his reply?

[LeoElias]

Pretty sure the guys looking to play the field won't put a girl waiting for marriage on their back burner unless they plan on breaking her and making her change her entire point of view on life just so she'll give up her virginity to him. That is honestly a huge process and i'm surprised there are guys who would work hard on something like that.

[RP_Blackburn]

"You should have sex whenever you feel comfortable."
Have you considered that most women, generally, are just less comfortable with strangers than with people they have developed a relationship with?

[t-8900]

I'm a guy but I'm the same way. I dont have sex for MONTHS after we start dating. Why? I want to really know who she is and i want to really love her. This guy doesn't speak for all of us and imho he gives bad advice on this topic.

[shahzadjavedmian]

First of all the question WHEN? is disturbing word. No matter sex is need but it also comes with feelings. So no one can decide that at some particular time I will have sex with some guy. Its natural thing and happens when it has to happen.

So let the feeling flow, once that stage comes it will happen.

[Anonymous]

After engagement or marriage.
I don't know why some girls are so horny that they'll strip naked on their first date and then ends up getting ghosted or dumped. I personally know a few like that...

[Милашка]

only after marriage for me

[Opinion Owner]

Same

[Милашка]

I am married and I was a virgin on my wedding night. I was so excited about that night. I felt like it was unreal. Like in fairy tales. I'm sure if I had sex before marriage it would be too plain as I wouldn't have the emotions that I had on my wedding night. The best sex ever.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, that I'm sure is the best feeling ever. I'm yet to experience it. And i promised myself that I'll remain virgin.
You're right, if we already have sex and does everything, then it'll be plain and boring.

[Милашка]

just like kissing. If we kiss any men we like we will not only think kissing is boring but also would get no goosebumps when kissing the man we like the most.

[Opinion Owner]

I kissed someone else tho, but it was a very bad kiss and a forced once so when I kiss someone I actually love and want to kiss, I think I'll feel great.

[JEndigoBleue]

Sex whether married or not is a Russian Roulette. And, like a box of chocolate. You never know the type of person you will end up with after sex. No matter said intentions or expectations were expressed.

[Smashingdoozy]

Have 📝 sex📝 when 📝 horny 📝

[es20490446e]

Best time f-ever.

[nelly83]

I think its stupid how you sleep around so much with women on first dates. I can't imagine how many "sex" questions you've asked this year

[Apope16]

I only respond to sex questions to control my addiction. I dont sleep around. I only sleep with 1 girl at a time. Usually for several months. A relationship. there's nothing wrong with sleeping on a first date. I oppose slut shaming women.

[t-8900]

"there's nothing wrong with sleeping on a first date. I oppose slut shaming women."

And you my friend are one of the many reasons for so many bitter single mothers and stds running around in our society.

a "real relationship"
doesn't just happen over night. It takes a long time to nurture and grow. You are just a horn dog.

[nelly83]

@t-8900

"And you my friend are one of the many reasons for so many bitter single mothers and stds running around in our society."

hun, sluts are not the reason why there are so many single moms. Sluts usually use birth control or condoms. You can't be a slut for long if you do not use contraception.

The reason why there are so many single moms is because of the erosion of marriage. People are no longer getting married to have kids. As a result, there is no real incentive to stick together when times get tough. After a long argument with your girlfriend, you just get up and leave.

People need to stop divorcing and learn to stick together. Marriage is what creates family and prevents all these "single moms" running around.

[Mac-One]

Definitely not on the first date. After that it should be when there is a mutual desire and understanding.

[Justneedtokno]

So you’re telling me that body count doesn’t matter to you

[Apope16]

Why do you assume have sex on the first date means a higher body count than others? My longest relationships are sex on the first date.

[Justneedtokno]

Because sex on a Thursday normally leads to one night stands. You normally don’t see those people again personally I don’t do it. But she still have an answered the question does it matter to you?

[Justneedtokno]

“First Date” not “Thursday”