After developing and running the online dating profile critique service, Anterose.com for a while, I have gotten a lot of insight into what the most common complaints are, going in both directions. Women are a lot more critical of what men write and how eloquently they say it, while men are a lot more critical of how women look in their pictures. In this article, I’ll discuss some of the most common critiques women have about men’s profiles.
Not being able to see your eyes
Somewhat surprisingly, the largest complaint that women have about men’s pictures is when they can’t see their eyes. Lots of guys post pictures of themselves looking all cool in their sunglasses, but women actually don’t seem to care for that, as they want to be able to see what you look like behind those shades. It seems to add credibility and honesty to the face when you’re not covering up “the windows to your soul.”
Keep your shirt on
It’s awesome that you have rock-hard abs. Let her find that out after your dates go well. Putting a shirtless picture up on your profile comes across as obnoxious to almost every woman. I’ve even seen women have in their profile a disclaimer saying they won’t respond to any messages from guys with shirtless pictures.
Talking about partying too much
Do you love craft beer and having perhaps one too many with your buddies on the weekend? That may be fine, but certainly don’t build your entire profile around it. If you come across as a drunk, or simply someone who places too much emphasis on alcohol in your life, that will turn off a lot of women. And while honesty is indeed the best policy, mentioning any drug use in your profile can kill the mood for a lot of online daters.
Talking about work too much
Love your job? That's awesome. Women certainly seem to like when a guy has a steady job or, better yet, an impressive career. But if that’s all you talk about in your profile, you may come across as being one-dimensional, or a workaholic. For the woman checking out your profile, she may become concerned that you could be boring and just talk about work all the time, or worse, not have time for her because you’re so focused on work.
Confidence is very important in attracting women and looking appealing to someone, but if you go too far beyond confidence and get into the arrogance zone, that can be an immediate deal-breaker in anyone looking at what you have to offer in your online dating profile. Try to be confident, but humble.
Don’t use text abbreviations
Throwing a bunch of “LOL”s in your profile can make you look less desirable. It doesn't have to sound professional, but keep it a little less casual. These aren't text messages with buddies. Ending a sentence with “ha” can convey that you meant to be funny more intelligently than an “LOL” ever would.
The fine line between serious and goofy in pictures
In your pictures, especially your profile picture, you need to present yourself as not too serious, but not too silly. There’s a fine line here, but you should look approachable, fun, and somewhat serious in your profile picture. Remember, the profile picture may be all that you have going to entice someone to click through to your profile, so don’t blow your chances by having something too weird or whacky up there.
Not explaining yourself enough
Women don’t like when you’re too brief or vague when describing something that interests them, like your job, family or volunteer work. I’ve seen lots of critiques along the lines of “I can tell you like working at a bank, but why do you like it?” Be sure to explain the “why” behind your enjoyment of something.
Having other women in the picture of you
“Is that his sister? Or is that his cousin? Or is it just a female friend? Wait, she’s in a lot of pictures… did this guy put pictures of himself with his ex-girlfriend up in his profile? Who the hell are all these women?” Guys, don’t put any pictures up that include other women, unless you explain in the photo description that it’s your sister, but it’s probably just best practice to have no women at all in your photos. It’s a common concern in the profile feedback that we provide.
And the #1 most common critique…
Guys, this is a killer for a lot of women in the online dating world. She may just up and dismiss you entirely if you can’t demonstrate that you know the difference between there, their, and they’re. Poor grammar and spelling may indicate that you’re not very well educated, or worse, that you’re just lazy and don’t want to bother fixing your text, or perhaps simply dumb. Remember that what you say and how exactly you say it is really just as important as your pictures or other information. Take the time to clean up your profile text and you’ll get a better response.
Written by Stuart Brent
Founder of Anterose.com Online Dating Profile Critiques. Have 10 men or women in the age range you want to date give custom and private feedback on your profile to find what’s holding you back from online dating success.