Here are some honest opinions that many guys will not like. These are based on my personal experiences dating women (~50 in my lifetime):
- Dating will be harder as an Asian male in a Western Society compared with men of other ethnicities. This has been backed up through ancidotal evidence as well as many studies. As far as I'm concerned, this is a truth.
- Dating is difficult for any race. I've got heaps of white friends and when we go out at night, they get shot down left, right and center too. Yes, being Asian makes it even harder. But just remember, other guys don't have it easy either. Dating and getting girls is not easy.
- Generally speaking, most caucasian women (>80%) do not prefer Asian men
- From my experience, roughly 10-15% Asian women do not prefer Asian men. 30-40% Asian women DO prefer Asian men. The remaining (~50%) are 50/50 between asian/non-asian men.
- Dating other ethnic minorities (black, hispanic, indian etc) is generally favourable to an Asian man.
- Dating overseas is generally favourable to an Asian man. The best countries for an Asian man to date in order are: SE Asia, E Asia, Eastern Europe , Central Europe , South America. (i haven't dated anywhere else so can't comment). Countries that have heavy immigration - such as Canada, US, Australia, New Zealand etc generally do not fair well for an Asian man.
What works/doesn't work:
- Having a strong cultural values, work ethic, family values etc is a good thing. A lot of Asian guys (and girls) try to reject things that Asian cultures encourage (hoping that white society will like them better) - this is a bad idea. These are all GOOD attributes.
- Being shy is a bad idea. Unforunately, this is something that is almost synonmous with Asian culture. We are taught to be conservative and respectful. Something that doesn't do too well in Western Society.
- Physical attraction plays a huge role in attracting girls. As an Asian guy, main things you should do is: hit the gym, get a good haircut, wear clothes that fit you well. Do not fall into the trap of: 'don't get too big, because girls don't like guys that are too big'. This is true if you are black/white guy. But since most Asian guys have a smaller frame, there is no 'too big' for you, so get as big as you can (naturally with reasonable bodyfat). When it comes to haircut and clothing, do not choose clothes that are feminine. Generally this is a bad idea anyway, but as most Asian faces are more feminine than white/black men, this is an even worse idea.
- A lot of Asian parents tend to tell their kids to stay away from dating and just focus on study/career. This is generally a bad idea. Especially as a guy. A girl is always in the dating game whether she wants to or not - as guys will be hitting on her. A guy on the other hand has to make the approach, make the moves. This becomes problematic when a guy reaches his early-mid twenties without any experience, since most women around that age will have relatively more experience than the guy. This mismatch in experience can be difficult to overcome.
- Pick up artistry (PUA). I've heard that due to the dating problems for Asian men in the US. Asian men make up ~25% of "pickup artists" at many bootcamps etc (even though they only make up 4-5% of the US population). PUA is not a bad thing. But for an Asian guy (any guy) with poor social skills, it is not effective. Before one gets into PUA, you must improve your social skills. Without basic social skills, no 'technique' will work.
- No matter how good you get at PUA, how much you improve yourself. You will still be at a disadvantage in some respects. Sorry but this is true. Everyone is limited in someway. PUA at the end of the day is a numbers game. Chances are, you still won't be able to get that 10/10 model, but you will be much better at getting the girls 'within your league'.
- Date girls who appreciate you. This is the best advice I've been given. Don't waste your time with girls who aren't interested, won't give you time of day etc etc. Eminem doesn't go around trying to convince a group of conversatives that he is an amazing muscian, because there are already millions that appreciate him for his talents. Every man has his 'audience' so to speak, find yours, don't bother with those that aren't interested in who you really are.
- Dating for men can be a vicious cycle. If you ask women what they are attracted to, many (if not most) will say 'confidence'. Confidence is simply that you've performed a skill and through repetition you have the 'confidence' that you can do it again. Dating is a skill like any other. If you keep riding a bike and falling off you will quickly become discouraged. So ride a tricycle first. Get good at that first, then progress to riding a bicycle :)