There's this guy I've been talking to for awhile now. We met online in January 2016 and ever since we've been talking on the phone and FaceTime. We didn't meet this whole time because he was in Iraq for work. Despite us not having met in person yet, we agreed on not seeing other people and potentially have things get more serious as our relationship develops in person.
Well, I ended up finding out he's had sex with a few women since we made this agreement. I told him all I wanted was honesty so if he wanted to see other people he could but just to let me know. He said it was as just a one night stand with these women & he's not interested in them more than that. But now, I'm torn between if I should or shouldn't give him a second chance.
He's become like my best friend. We talk to each other everyday for hours if we can. We were supposed to meet this month. Here's a message he sent.. does it seem sincere
As you have not met and especially if there are no plans in place to meet then you could still be an abstract to him. Something real but unreal. I am generally not a fan of giving cheaters a second chance. But as it has been said: meet him and see where it goes from there is a good idea. Distance makes things difficult and certain allowance will need to be made if that is a long term issue.
He sounds truly sorry so if I were you, I'd give him another chance. Also, did you say you still have yet to meet him in person. Well even though I'm only 17, I would not want to do long distance relationship let alone have a relationship with someone who I still have yet to meet in person so it's kind of a different story when you never met you boyfriend in person if he is cheating.
Wow, he's so sweet, genuine, and sounds very sincere! Give him a second chance, but don't make it seem as nothing has happend because if everything goes back to normal as if nothing has happened he'll think he can do it again and you'll take him back. I think you should start talking again and build your relationship/friendship and trust slowly, but surely restoring it.
I would meet in person and go from there. Maybe he was unsure of who was really on the other end of the line, so his insecurity pushed him to do things he wouldn't have done if he had actually known you. It happens that way a lot, actually. It doesn't seem real until it is.
I think you owe it to both of you to meet and go from there. Its hard to get a true feel of things unless you have met face to face. Meet up and talk about your relationship if he seems sincere than maybe pursue more. If not worse case you just be friends.
you are young now but save this letter and compare it to the letters you get from other men that are trying to have sex with you. soon you will see how many times you get the same letter from a guy that thinks all the time he spent trying to loosen your panties is not going to pay off. he is just looking for return on investment and after he sleeps with you he will tell the other girl you were just a one night thing and isn't interested in you the way he is for her. also do yourself a favor and Google sociopath and how they behave. the letter he wrote is the stereotypical "honeymoon phase" letter. relationships are built on trust he showed he is not trustworthy. because if you mean so much to him he would never even notice that other women exist and would not persue them for meaningless sex. he has hands.
If that was me with my girl I would want her to give me another chance but I'm loyal and would never do anything like that so I say find someone else. U guys can stay friends or whatever that text but he's not good for you if he really cared he wouldn't have done that in the first place
okay. so you and a man you've never even met have promised to be loyal. now he's basically sending you a text about being "the one." honestly, it's just unrealistic and childish. those aren't feelings that you should have for someone you've never even met. move on and next time you get close to a guy, make sure that you guys at least live in the same area.
Fuck no. Are you crazy? You both made a commitment and the dude walked around it to put his dick in other women. Now he wants to proclaim his undying love for you? Ask him if he loved you while his dick was in those other pussies. It doesn't matter how or what happens, he broke his promise to you. It will happen again and again if you let it. It's best for you and him if you just move on. Relationships are built on trust and trust me when I tell you, this shits over. Y'all can fake it for awhile but it will come up and why would you deal with that when there's plenty of time to find a man who keeps his word. A guy who you don't have this kind of mistrust with.
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4 Reply
Asker
+1 y
It kinda just seems like something similar happened to you & now you're guessing my situation will end the same. I appreciate your opinion but it seems like you have some unresolved trust issues that you're slightly projecting.
Actually no. I've never been cheated on nor have I done it. I just know how to pick em and I have picked the right ones. Something you apparently don't know how to do.
Lol the fact that you say you've never been cheated on is funny. You can't know 100% unless you had access to everything someone was doing. Plus, know one can know completely who someone is which is why you need to take a chance. I'm sure you're arrogance will catch up with you👌
Hey I checked and I never found anything. You checked or something and you found that he was a liar who broke you little agreement multiple times. Once is a big deal, multiple women is lmao hilarious. "Your the one, I didn't mean to cheat with that girl... shit I mean girls". Your a fool. Have fun with your liar
Once a dog always a dog! Trust me I know what Im talking about. Guys like us never change. We just evolve to something else. We are who we are and if your willing to be with someone like this well... own it.! I accept who I am and own it 100%. He needs to man up and own who he is and stop fooling himself and everyone else. Good luck with your decision. I might be wrong so go with your gut on this one!
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Personally for now I'd say cool it off. You haven't met so you don't know how your going to bond in person. And the fact he does that behind your back shows he doesn't respect you which may be because of the distance. May not. Which is why your better off cooling it til you meet
He broke his end of the bargain. If he can easily do it when you're not even dating, that's a hint of the kind of person he is. If you take him back, you're basically giving him permission to do it to you again. Fuck that guy (not literally of course), move on and find another guy
I think distance and a war zone makes this very complicated. I'd suggest that you might need to think about an arrangement for while you're not together. You've met online and until you know there is definitely something between you then you might need to be a bit more flexible.
yes. give him a second chance a lot of men are like that that at first then they realized what they done and they try to do the opposite of that to have a better life
If I was him and I did something like that there are two things to do. 1) if he doesn't plan on messing around again and he truly cares he can do his best to convince you to get things to work again or 2) if he didn't care and he was gonna mess around he wouldn't even be trying to get things to work so he can cut his losses to be with other people. If he is trying to get stuff to work then he obviously wants you so I'd give him a chance until he does something wrong again.
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