Advice on a girl that I love her personality but not her looks. What should I do?

[yussi96]

Hey guys it's my first time posting here so be nice pleas ;)

I have a problem. I was on a dating app and i came across a cute girl, we texted each other for a while and then we went on a date together. So while texting it felt like she is the perfect person. We have a lot in common and she is very interesting and her profile pic was very cute. And last Saturday we finally had a date together. Just went to the cinema and talked an hour before the movie.

But she don't look like her profile pic, not that it is fake but she tried to hide the fact that she is overweight (maybe cosidered chuby). It was so bad that when we tried to meet i didn't notice that she was all the time in front of me and that i passt her a several times.

So of course i was a bit disappointed but i didn't show it. After the date she was very interested in me and wanted a second date. I just changed the subject every time she tries to make another meeting. However normally i would tell her that i am not interested but she really is perfect in the inside and i don't know what to do! Should i tell her that if she want to be in a relationship with me that she should lose weight. I go to the gym every second day and i have a decent good looking body so we could work out together?

I realy don't know what to do because i was never in such a situation and i really want to know her better but on the other hand i am not physically attracted to her so at that point i am lost. I am not a model but i am not ugly either and i have some expectations on the gilrs i date and they aren't high at all.

So pleas if you have experience in such situations can you pleas help me i am completely lost and that is the only reason i came here and signed up.

Thank you all for your advice abd sorry for the bad English.

Updates

+1 y

For the people that think i am stupid. I will not tell her to change right away. I am no one to tell her what to do. i will have a relationship wirh her and if the relationship is good than i would suggest that we could change it together but yes people think that i am going to tell her if she wants to be with me than she should change lmao.

Honestly guys what do think i am?

Updates

+1 y

So i tlakt to her about my problem and she was very open and told me that she is right now trying to lose some weight and than she asked me if we could work out together so basically it went better than i ever thought. And she thanked me for my honesty so basically i am really happy right now.

[Cammy137]

Nothing. You shouldn't view someone as being half worth your time. You can't enter into a relationship with someone in the hopes that she'll get to a size that suits you. So id do both of you a favour and just tell her that you had fun and that she seems lovely but you're not interested in going further

[yussi96]

Tbh i will try it out and see how it turns. I am not going to change her. And i think it would be alos better fir her to change it but as i said and other people here to i am not in the pleac to tell her what to do.

[TheIceCreamQueen]

Just let her go. You're no one to tell her to lose weight you just met her. Either accept her as she is or move on.

[yussi96]

I wouldn't tell her right away that she should lose weight i am not a dick. I mean if we would be in a relationship for a while it would make sense to ask her and as i said i would do it with her and to be honest you and i know it would be better for her and it would also be a motivation and pleas fuck of with your fat acceptance body positive bullshit.

But yes as i was thinking i am the asshole here but if a girl is dating a fat guy you would say tell him to lose weight or i leave you. But ok i am i guy what do i know right.

[TheIceCreamQueen]

No actually even if it was a girl asking I'd say the same thing.. that she has no right to say anything and should move on. You barely know her and you're already trying to change her, do you really think that's going to be a positive thing for her?

It's not a body positive bullshit. It's the truth. If you were in a relationship with her for a while then yes you would have the right but as someone who only went on one date and ur already making plans on changing her? F off.

[yussi96]

Thats my point i would date her for a while and see how it turns out and if the relationship is good i would ask her. I wouldn't tell her right away i mean i am not stupid.

[yussi96]

you really think i am going to chang her in the first day that we are together. common how stupid do you think i am. rally things like that pisses me off i mean have some comon sense lmao.

[wiintrr]

Stay friends instead of trying to build a love relationship with her

[Anonymous]

Shallow af

[yussi96]

If that would be true than why didn't i just tell her thet i dont want a second date? Why didn't i tell her i have to leav on the date. To be honest i would like if it is true what you said but I really don't know.

[Opinion Owner]

I was rude, I'm sorry. I'm not sure tbh. In one regard it sounds shallow. I mean beauty fades. A good soul, that's something that'll remain. That's something of worth.

[yussi96]

Yes you are right but what if it comes to sex? I mean isn't sex somthing rhat should be enjoyed by both?

[Opinion Owner]

Of course it is. You have to be the one to decide what's more important love or looks.
Say she is everything that you want phsyically, what happens if she is in a horrible accident that renders her disfigured? Would you love her less then?

[yussi96]

Your example made me think. But i alos think that if i would love her body and her personality than if she had an accident i would still love her for what she is. I am just worried that she would notice about the fact that i don't find her attractive. So my question is should i tell her that i dont find her attractive from the outside abd that we could change it together. Maybe it would make os more loving for each other (stronger bond) if we could di it TOGETHER. And it would show that i also love her personality because not every man is ready to do that.

[Opinion Owner]

If she's comfortable, and is happy with the way she is, why would you want to change her?
I think if a person wants to do it they will be the one to initiate it.
Maybe she can exercise, due to a preexisting injury? Or illness?

[Opinion Owner]

Excuse me can't not can

[yussi96]

Yes tbh now it is even more difficult to choose. And i feel like a dick right now so i guess i just let her go.